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fatesmiled43 · Apr 9, 2006, 02:40 PM

My ex left about 4 months ago for a new job. We had a wonderful and very loving relationship but he didn't ask me to go with him. It broke my heart. I find that I can't seem to let go. We chat on occasion but I feel as if he has let me go completely and moved on. When he left he shut me out. It was like he flicked a switch and was gone emotionally. I can't seem to get over him and let go. Things were just so good with us and we fit perfectly. I guess my question is... will he come to realize what a special and rare relationship we had or should I move on and if so how do I do that?

Thanks for reading... I feel so lost right now...

Fr_Chuck · Apr 9, 2006, 02:54 PM

Move on,

If things were "that good" and "that special" for him, he would not have just moved without you.

He wanted an entire new start which did not include you.

fredg · Apr 10, 2006, 05:18 AM

Hi,
I am not a Psychic, but the answer before mine is very good, summing up the relationship.
It took me a year after my girlfriend of about 5 years found someone else. I though we would eventually be married after college, but it didn't happen.
It will take time, and I know the feeling of "what do I do", and "I am lost". It seems like the world has just stopped for now, and don't know where to turn.
If you can force yourself to start talking with other men, do it. Talking with others is the best healing, and beginning to move on. I do wish you the best, and good luck.

fatesmiled43 · Apr 10, 2006, 05:41 AM

Thank you all so much for responding. I know what both of you say is the truth. If it was as special to him as it was for me then he would have gone to any length to keep it alive. The hard part is the friendship. We mail weekly and talk on the phone every few weeks. We have even discussed a visit but I am not really sure if that will make things worse. At times I am so angry at him and want to tell him so but then I realize that he is what God created him to be. I can't blame or shame him for that. It is just frustrating. It is so easy for me to give suggestions and advice in other people's lives but for myself it is hard to know what is right and what is not...
Anymore help would be appreciated... Thanks

Hypatia · Apr 19, 2006, 09:52 AM

People seldom realize that they trample on the feelings of others. I am so sorry that he did this to you. I wish I could say something sweet to comfort you but it isnt what you need to hear. What you want, I think, is closure. You also want this guy to be accountable for his actions. Something I wish the world had more of!! Accountability! He did something very wrong and rotten and he needs to be told how it feels, how it effected you and that he needs to realize that he simply cannot behave this way.
My advice is to call him and tell him you need him to listen and understand. tell him that out of sparing his feelings you held back some pretty heavy thoughts. Yet upon realization you came to find he did not spare your feelings, and the kindness should not be repaid. then tell him everything. Do not expect him to just listen. He will be completely on the defensive and try to rationalize every word you say and give it an excuse.
Tell him you will listen to him once you are done.
Once you get these things out of you, you will be able to move on. It is with the expulsion that healing will begin.

Hypatia

riseupwfists · Apr 30, 2007, 12:59 PM

Originally Posted by fatesmiled43

My ex left about 4 months ago for a new job. We had a wonderful and very loving relationship but he didnt ask me to go with him. It broke my heart. I find that I can't seem to let go. We chat on occassion but I feel as if he has let me go completely and moved on. When he left he shut me out. It was like he flicked a switch and was gone emotionally. I can't seem to get over him and let go. Things were just so good with us and we fit perfectly. I guess my question is ...will he come to realize what a special and rare relationship we had or should I move on and if so how do I do that??

Thanks for reading....I feel so lost right now..........

I know exactly how you feel. Should I try to make him see that he lost something wonderful or should I just forget about him altogether? It's horrible when somebody gets over you that fast and you don't feel that way at all.