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zawatska · Dec 1, 2008, 12:50 PM

I honestly don't care though. From what I've seen, we're nothing alike... and I don't think I will ever get over the fact that he has started a family, and is involved in his kids' lives, and he just wrote me off like nothing.

I'm over it. Hey, at least I know who he is and what he looks like. That's all I wanted, and I'm happy with that.

georgejr · Dec 2, 2008, 01:41 PM

How can I find my sister from my fathers side with just his info and next to nothing about my sister

zawatska · Dec 2, 2008, 01:58 PM

Well it took me a few yrs to find my father... u don't know anything about your father? If you do know his name, and age then there is luck... just use Google and search "free people search" and websites will come up and they will show past addresses, possible relatives, and sometimes phone numbers good luck! And if you still need help you can pm me with your fathers name and I can take a swing at it..

zawatska · Dec 2, 2008, 02:02 PM

I'm sorry I read your question wrong... u DO know things about your father so yes, I'm sure a free search will provide you with possible relatives of your father... I would also try to ask around and see what your sisters name is... that would make it much easier for you.

JudyKayTee · Dec 19, 2008, 12:36 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Well, and like any other Court proceeding you tell your side, he tells his and the Judge decides what's fair/equitable and so forth.

I have NO idea how he is going to prove long distance that you are/were emancipated - and he has to prove it, not just come up with theories.

I'm torn about what you should ask for - I don't think child support is a means of exacting revenge BUT he always knew you were out there, somewhere, and did nothing, started another life and so forth. The other side of it is your mother never pursued him - for reasons I understand.

I'm honestly torn here - I would like to see him acknowledge you, get to know you, all of that stuff but I don't think that's going to happen, at least not now. He behaved badly for a number of years and I'm sure he knows it. Maybe that's why he's throwing up road blocks.

Honestly - I'm torn.

I know "we're" just watching the days drag by but thought I'd give this a kick start - and see where you've been hiding in the process!

zawatska · Dec 19, 2008, 08:23 PM

Honestly... I just don't care anymore.. I'm kind of over it... I get the fact that he wants nothing to do with me, and I've got that same mutual feeling... I don't need another "dad" because I've got one... biological or not... doesn't matter. And as far as having Rob as a friend, no thanks... I've got enough friends... no need to make new ones. I'll just sit back and collect my child support, and eventually get my medical insurance (thats what I really care about)

Sad but true... =) I'm groovy baby!

zawatska · Jan 18, 2009, 04:52 PM

So our trial date is coming up, where he THINKS he's going to prove that I am self supporting, and he shouldn't have to pay me my meesly little $25/week...

I'm kind of nervous, and freaked out actually... everyone keeps telling me that I will win, but I'm starting to second guess that... :-/

JudyKayTee · Jan 18, 2009, 05:21 PM

Originally Posted by zawatska

So our trial date is coming up, where he THINKS he's going to prove that I am self supporting, and he shouldn't have to pay me my meesly little $25/week...

I'm kind of nervous, and freaked out actually...everyone keeps telling me that I will win, but I'm starting to second guess that...:-/

Don't second guess yourself. Even if you "lose," you've actually won!

zawatska · Jan 18, 2009, 06:23 PM

How so Judy? And I know he can't supeona anyone, because no one HE knows, knows me! And I wonder if it would prove I'm NOT self supporting if all my utilities are in my moms name? I rent off her, but nothing is in my name...

JudyKayTee · Jan 19, 2009, 06:56 AM

Originally Posted by zawatska

How so Judy? And I know he can't supeona anyone, because no one HE knows, knows me! And I wonder if it would prove I'm NOT self supporting if all my utilities are in my moms name? I rent off of her, but nothing is in my name...

Because you found him, you know EXACTLY where he stands, you found out EXACTLY what he's made of. If you ever for any reason need his medical history, now you know where to go to get it.

You know how much respect I have for you for this journey you have taken and the way you've handled it. He's the one who has lost out.

zawatska · Jan 19, 2009, 08:54 AM

I agree, he sucks. I'm surprised how well I've handled the rejection though lol.

I guess you can't miss or hate someone you don't know. I'm content. :)

JudyKayTee · Jan 19, 2009, 08:58 AM

Originally Posted by zawatska

I agree, he sucks. I'm surprised how well I've handled the rejection though lol.

I guess you can't miss or hate someone you don't know. I'm content. :)

But he didn't reject you as a person. He really doesn't even know you. He rejected the idea of being a father, specifically your father, I suppose.

Of course, I'm not in your shoes so it's easy for me to rattle on.

Group hug, group hug.

zawatska · Jan 19, 2009, 09:47 AM

Well you're right...

But I DO feel like he rejected me as a person because he did say "u are set in ur ways and i have no influence of your choices, and your living with an older man (frank) and ur not married." ugh!

zawatska · Feb 3, 2009, 06:58 PM

UPDATE!

I had a trial date on January 28th, and it was for "my dad" Rob to prove that I am self supporting and he shouldn't have to pay child support to me... he couldn't prove anything, and I am getting $25/week... and he has to pay me arrears (sp) dating back to August 28th... and I may get a raise in support, I'm waiting to hear back from the courts...

We still have zero contact.

JudyKayTee · Feb 3, 2009, 07:57 PM

Originally Posted by zawatska

UPDATE!!

I had a trial date on January 28th, and it was for "my dad" Rob to prove that I am self supporting and he shouldn't have to pay child support to me... he couldn't prove anything, and I am getting $25/week...and he has to pay me arrears (sp) dating back to August 28th...and I may get a raise in support, I'm waiting to hear back from the courts...

We still have zero contact.

I am sad and I am happy - and I am proud. I'm sad because I so hoped for some sort of reunion or connection; I am happy because you won this round; I am proud because those of us on the board gave you the best we had and walked through this from the very first post and you stuck to it. You know it's his loss - !

<hugs>

jjwoodhull · Feb 3, 2009, 08:46 PM

Sorry things haven't worked out the way you hoped... but at least there is now some legal responsibility being taken. You should be proud of yourself for seeing through this difficult situation.

zawatska · Feb 4, 2009, 03:07 PM

Thanks guys! And no need to feel sorry for me... I'm good! I'm happy and healthy! I don't need him, I never knew him... maybe once I'm older and have children of my own, I may think differently about him being absent from my life, but right now, me being almost 21 yrs old, I'm okay with it :)... he isn't the man I hoped to have as a father anyway. Hes rude, disrespectful, and doesn't listen... not the man I wished for.