[milliec]

Dear Vicka,
It's not so difficult:
Remember your first entry? For example:"I do not love my parents."
This can very well begin your conversation.This is a meeting when you say things, you are asked more questions, to elaborate, give examples, etc.
Then you get some reply, maybe an interpretation of the things you describe. It's difficult to decide HOW TO BEGIN, but this might be true about any relationship.
Usually the most important thing is the first to be mentioned, or, you can also write down some of the most important things to you.
I wish you good luck, and look forward to hear about your progress.
The first step is always the most difficult to make, but if one doesn't make it, no on will ever star walking.
Let us all know how you're doing. We'd really like to help.
Bye,
Millie:)

[orange]

Good advice, Millie! I think we were posting at the same time! :)

Vicka, I would tell him whatever you want, even if it's something your parents told you not to say. I don't think you are violating family privacy by saying such things. In fact, what they told you not to say might be something that the psychologist really needs to hear. And like a lot of us have been saying, professionally the psychologist can't speak to anyone about what you discuss. It will be kept completely private. The only time a psychologist is required to act is if he thinks your life is in danger, such as if you are planning to kill yourself, kill someone else, or if you are harming a child.

You don't have to say everything all in the first meeting, either. You can start by talking about what you've been discussing with us, and go into more detail as you feel comfortable. The psychologist will probably ask you questions as well, and try to make you feel at ease.

Btw sorry I haven't responded to your PM yet Vicka... I will hopefully get to it later today.

[milliec]

Right dear, we WERE posting at the same time!
In any case, I, too, agree with your points, and can't help admiring (again) your very mature way of thinking ("ripe", so to say).
I think it's only PARTLY due to your life history, most of it is your private wisdom and sensitivity.
Take good care of yourself.
Millie
:) :) :)

[vicka]

I am still afraid about going to the pschychologist.:( I think a lot about this situation and I realised that all I want to is not having contact with my parents. How can I tell them that in the polite way? Is it any chance that they unedrstant it? They usually make out that our contacts are very well but it is not true. I think that they had not had good families when they were children so later they could not be good parents. But I do not want to help them - it is too heavy for me. I would like to have a calm life far away from them. Is it possible?:confused:

[JoeCanada76]

It is possible. You say you live far now. So, what exactly is the problem. Just live your life as your own and have other people in your life that makes you happy and maybe later in life you will open up to your parents or feel more comfortable around them. HAve you ever told them how you feel, it may cause pain but it is better for everybody to be aware of how you feel, but also find out how they feel.

[nwsflash]

Vicka you have been given some very good advice by orange and Millie, I tend to also go with what jesushelper says! You need to ensure that you carry on with your life and make the most of things for you... I also agree that if you do have the option where you can speak open with them and tell them the way you are feeling is also a good option if you can do this... Just take each day and step as it comes and live for you and not others.

[valinors_sorrow]

Vicka - my heart goes out to you. I experienced a childhood that left me so confused that I was close to unable to function. I was too afraid to seek help from a professional until one day a friend encouraged me. The counselors are trained to help. All you have to do is go - they know how to do the rest. Talk in vague terms until you build up trust, they will understand. Go for three sessions and evaluate where you are. If you don't feel right with that particular counselor, try another. Just know that in order to help you, you need to be mostly comfortable with them (so you can talk) and a little uncomfortable with them (which is normal too and can be an indication you aren't wasting your time/money with someone who won't help). I understand that this is important for you to get this more settled for yourself. Good luck.

[milliec]

valinors_sorrow,
I wanted to give you credit for the support you gave Vicka, but couldn't.
In any case, I think your post is very helpful and I can only hope that Vicka fill take the advice we all gave her.
As to you Vicka, even if you decide to cut yourself of any relationship with your parents, you still need professional support.
No psychologist will force you to keep in touch with your parents if you feel so strongly that you can't.
More than that: no one will ever judge you, especially a psychologist.
I really feel for you, and I hope you'll do something to make your life easier.
Let us know how you are doing, we all care here!
Good luck,
Millie