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lostgirl3 · Jul 27, 2008, 07:43 PM

I recently found that my boyfriend had been looking at his exes pofile on a social networking site. He had looked up pics of her and also went on to fellas who were showing interest. He also went onto another friends of hers and looked at pics of his ex there.. I got upset was wnadering if he may still have feelings for her or if this is harmless curiosity like her says. Though he didn't even see why I might be upset. Am I over reacting? Please help :)

erin7799 · Jul 27, 2008, 08:15 PM

Curiosity Killed the Cat! I wouldn't want my man looking up his ex. What's the reason behind it? One time, maybe. Any more than that it's more than just being curious.

ChihuahuaMomma · Jul 27, 2008, 08:18 PM

What is their past? Ex as in they dated for 3 months, or they were together for 5 years and were engaged and madly in love and they split because of different beliefs or something?

I am in love with my boyfriend, he's my everything, but I still sometimes go onto my exes profile to see what's up with him. He was my first love and we were together for almost 7 years.

Also, how long did this relationship end? How long before the two of you got together?

joeoconnell2008 · Jul 27, 2008, 08:30 PM

Well I still love my ex.
And what I think you should do is confront him.

I no I'm am being stupid about my own situation but
I no I would prefer my girlfriend to confront me and ask what is going on
Then tell her straight out.

Its not his fault if he is in love wit her
Its emotions
But if he loves you more he will choose you over her
If you confront him.

But also prepare for the worst.

Hope this helped.
And
Good luck.

lostgirl3 · Jul 27, 2008, 09:12 PM

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

What is their past? Ex as in they dated for 3 months, or they were together for 5 years and were engaged and madly in love and they split because of different beliefs or something?

I am in love with my boyfriend, he's my everything, but I still sometimes go onto my exes profile to see what's up with him. He was my first love and we were together for almost 7 years.

Also, how long did this relationship end? How long before the two of you got together?

They had been together for near a year and broke up a few weeks before I started seeing him though I met him when they were still together... he left her am comment on the site saying he will always love her and that his heart was hers (he wrote this before we started dating) I asked him about it and he said that I shudnt go snooping... he also said he has no feeling s for her... y check up on her though?

lostgirl3 · Jul 27, 2008, 09:14 PM

I have broke up with him because he refused to see my point.. just wandering I it was the right thing to do... eeeek

ISneezeFunny · Jul 27, 2008, 09:17 PM

I have to say... it probably meant little to nothing that he looked her up... as chihuahua said, people are just simply curious. From there, your actions determine what happens from then on. This is BEFORE you posted your last post.

NOW, after the whole "always love her...his heart...etc"... that's just straight emotional cheating. If he was just looking at her profile, maybe leaving a comment that said, "Hey, how are you doing?" that means nothing. If he leaves comments like that, chances are, he's not over her. Granted, you should have expected this when you started to date a guy before his relationship was over.

Sorry lostgirl, I don't think he's over the ex. Now you have to make a choice... do you stay with this guy knowing he's not over his ex, and will most likely go back to her, or do you end it?

If you do decide to end it, by all means, do it with dignity. Don't fight, don't yell, don't cry. Just end it, and walk away.

ISneezeFunny · Jul 27, 2008, 09:18 PM

Hm, you posted while I was typing.

Well, I don't think he left you any other choice. Move on. Keep your head up.

Best.

lostgirl3 · Jul 27, 2008, 09:22 PM

Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

I have to say...it probably meant little to nothing that he looked her up...as chihuahua said, people are just simply curious. from there, your actions determine what happens from then on. This is BEFORE you posted your last post.

NOW, after the whole "always love her...his heart...etc" ...that's just straight emotional cheating. If he was just looking at her profile, maybe leaving a comment that said, "Hey, how are you doing?" that means nothing. If he leaves comments like that, chances are, he's not over her. Granted, you should have expected this when you started to date a guy before his relationship was over.

Sorry lostgirl, I don't think he's over the ex. Now you have to make a choice...do you stay with this guy knowing he's not over his ex, and will most likely go back to her, or do you end it?

If you do decide to end it, by all means, do it with dignity. Don't fight, don't yell, don't cry. Just end it, and walk away.

No he wrote that comment before we started dating and he was finished with her before we started dating I met him through work... he never left comments when I had saw hed looked. I'm confused when we have a fight all these girls he is mates with seem to talk to him and he's telling them they have to meet up then when we are together themessages on his page stopp the ex was a bit upsetting though.. god I am confused

ChihuahuaMomma · Jul 27, 2008, 09:25 PM

I don't think him looking at her profile is a big deal. And to break up with someone because you don't know how to communicate shows how weak this relationship was anyway. I say move on and find someone that is not curious, I doubt they will be a keeper though. Sorry for the harsh words, but that's what I feel is the case here.

lostgirl3 · Jul 27, 2008, 09:27 PM

Ne advice on what to do would be great thot and opinions also... am I mad?lol because he's blamed this on me :(

lostgirl3 · Jul 27, 2008, 09:29 PM

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

I don't think him looking at her profile is a big deal. And to break up with someone because you don't know how to communicate shows how weak this relationship was anyways. I say move on and find someone that is not curious, I doubt they will be a keeper though. Sorry for the harsh words, but that's what I feel is the case here.

It was the fact it was real lok and going on others to see pics of her... u know I uunderstand what your saying though.. it was checking up on fellas talking to her as well :( I tried talking but he blamed me said he didn't like her anymore juts was curious... as to what though? Who she's dating why would he care ? :( I apreciate any words even if they are harsh :)

ChihuahuaMomma · Jul 27, 2008, 09:29 PM

If you have to break up with someone to prove a point then you have problems with communicating.

ISneezeFunny · Jul 27, 2008, 09:30 PM

Forget that he blamed this mess on you.

You two are broken up. Now move on. Don't check his profile... don't check that girl's profile to see if he's left any comments... as it will only makes things worse. Simply move on with your life. Surround yourself with your friends, do the things you enjoy, and get over him. Of course, there's this thread to vent ;)

lostgirl3 · Jul 27, 2008, 09:33 PM

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

If you have to break up with someone to prove a point then you have problems with communicating.

I broke up with him because it had hurt me and he didn't try to talk about it he ignored me and told me to wise up... don't think I should stand for that?

lostgirl3 · Jul 27, 2008, 09:34 PM

Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

forget that he blamed this mess on you.

you two are broken up. now move on. don't check his profile...don't check that girl's profile to see if he's left any comments....as it will only makes things worse. simply move on with your life. surround yourself with your friends, do the things you enjoy, and get over him. of course, there's this thread to vent ;)

Oh I don't check his page... or hers.. I just wanted advice on whether I had over reacted or not... :(

ISneezeFunny · Jul 27, 2008, 09:39 PM

No one can tell you whether you're overreacting... as well, we don't know you two, we don't know the dynamics you guys had, or the relationship... heck, we don't even know how old you guys are.

What matters is that you were unhappy with something, and so was he. So you two ended it. No use in trying to justify "what was right" or "whose fault it was"... what's done is done.

Only thing left to do is to look forward.

lostgirl3 · Jul 27, 2008, 09:44 PM

Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

No one can tell you whether or not you're overreacting...as well, we don't know you two, we don't know the dynamics you guys had, or the relationship...heck, we don't even know how old you guys are.

What matters is that you were unhappy with something, and so was he. So you two ended it. No use in trying to justify "what was right" or "whose fault it was"...what's done is done.

Only thing left to do is to look forward.

U know what that ahs actually helped me a lot thank you... regardless of the fight we both wernt happy or something like that wudnt have broken us or he might have been more undertsanding thank you you know I thot I was being stupid putting this up but you have spoken the most sense in that sentence than I haven thot in this whole break up lol thanks :)

brkfstatiffs · Jul 28, 2008, 02:03 PM

Becareful, of how you confront him about this. Personally I think if he wanted to just say hi to her and see how life is platonically, over a phone call that might be okay. Only because if you are with someone for years, and things end, that person was a part of your life. Looking up on a dating site etc, seems like he is still curious to know what she is up too - or maybe he ran into her while he was out and got curious to know what was going on in her life. Go with your gut instinct. I know the feeling though, I guy broke my heart a couple weeks ago, and while I shouldn't jump to conclusions, he added his ex on Facebook. I know it seems childish, and maybe they are just friends, but for a guy to be completely "over" his ex and then add her to that site just seemed all too much of a coindcidence to me timing wise.

lostgirl3 · Jul 28, 2008, 02:37 PM

Originally Posted by brkfstatiffs

becareful, of how you confront him about this. Personally I think if he wanted to just say hi to her and see how life is platonically, over a phone call that might be okay. Only because if you are with someone for years, and things end, that person was a part of your life. Looking up on a dating site etc, seems like he is still curious to know what she is up too - or maybe he ran into her while he was out and got curious to know what was going on in her life. Go with your gut instinct. I know the feeling though, I guy broke my heart a couple weeks ago, and while I shouldn't jump to conclusions, he added his ex on facebook. I know it seems childish, and maybe they are just friends, but for a guy to be completely "over" his ex and then add her to that site just seemed all too much of a coindcidence to me timing wise.

I know what you mean the story is he hadn't ran into her he had never mentined contact he delted her number ages ago. He recently moved and I had been visiting when I saw he's been looking up on her page, they were already friends on the site.we agreed we would tel each other if we had had contact with exes you know to reasure and I always did clearly he didn't keep up his end.. anyway I found he had did a lot of snooping to find out things about her. He blamed me and didn't once reasure me kind of shows he didn't really care. He came ointo my place of work last night and completely ignored me and refuses to help me with a computer problem even though he works for a huge computer programing firm and he created the problem! Bit childish anyway thanks for the advice everyone I am going to move on because the relationship I know realise had problems anyway this was the straw that broke the camels back as they say... u only get one chance at life I don't intent on wasting it on someone who doesn't apreciate me or only makes me an option when he was my priority... thanks again