[crystal1826]

I have been with my fiancé for a 1 year.We have really been through everything together.
There is just one problem that cause the most trouble.He has a 3 year old daughter with his exwife of seven years.She took his daughter away from him and he just got her back today.He had to drop his restraining order against his wife to see his little girl.I asked him to at least meet her somewhere and she wouldn't do that,so we picked his daughter up at her house.I asked him to at least not go in and he did that.I understand that he feels obligated to do that for his daughter.His exwife and him just got the divorce last week.I am pretty insecure.Now she has our home phone number and she called. I asked him she is going to call everyday and he didn't say anything.I love Bryant but I just don't know what to do.When he has her he totally ignores me like I am not even there.I love him so much. I was pregnant and then lost the baby and he has also been acting odd since then. Please help me... should I hang in there a while longer and see if things clear up or should zi take it to another level? PLEASE HELP!!

[Alty]

When his daughter is with him he ignores you, why don't you join in, spend some time getting to know his daughter? If you are going to get married then this little girl is going to be a part of your life.

Once you have a child with someone you will forever be connected to that person. His ex-wife and him share a large responsibility, their daughter, so of course they have to talk to each other.

He picked up his daughter at his ex's house and went inside to get her, of course he did, she's three, the mother probably wanted to explain what she had packed etc. to him.

You say you love him, but it sounds like you are jealous of everyone that is in his life. If you think that he's going to give up a relationship with his daughter to be with you, then you are mistaken.

If you decide to stay then you need to support him, stop expecting all of his attention and get to know his daughter better. If you can't do that then leave and find someone who can give you all the attention you need.

Good luck.

[Fr_Chuck]

Well first, no he did not have to drop the restraining order to see the child, he could have had, though the court, it required that a 3rd party pick up and take the child back. This is done 1000's a time a day all over the US.

[JBeaucaire]

Make peace NOW, before you get married, that you will ALWAYS take second place to the daughter. And that's how it should be. That child is his prior responsibility and he broke up that girl's family... for whatever reason.

Now, you and everyone else step back and let them do/be whatever they have to/be to succeed for the next 15 years. You never, never, never exercise jealous thoughts. You understand and accept the situation NOW, or you stop the whole process and get off the bus.

When you and he have children together later, you will STILL respect his priorities with his first child and first wife. Your jealousies are irrelevant (hard to swallow, isn't it?) and your interference is actually wrong. If he asks for help, give it. If he breaks promises to service his child/parent relationship, you applaud his proper priorities.

This is the bus you are choosing to ride. Get on and enjoy all that it means and support the process, or get off the bus.

[talaniman]

I hope you get some professional help for your insecurities, and to get over the loss of your own child.

The world will look differently then.