[freakinconfused]

OK, so what I'm about to ask is probably ridiculous, but y'all are my peeps, so here it goes.


I met another girl on good ol' Match.com. We emailed back and forth, and everything was going well. So well in fact that she gave me her number, and asked me to give her a call so we could meet up sometime. I did, and she sounded like a cool chick, so we set up a date.

A couple of nights ago we met up for that date. We decided (well, really I decided) to get together for a few drinks at a local restaurant. I thought she was pretty cute in person, and easy to talk to. After a bit, we both got a little tipsy (but not super drunk, mind you) and started flirting pretty heavily. I think we mighta even kissed a bit.

Before I knew it, we hopped in her car and we headed back to her place. One thing led to another, and we had an enjoyable romp in the sack. I ended up staying the night, and we pretty much cuddled (I hate that word) all night. I woke up the next morning, and we went at it again. Afterward, we laid around in her bed for a bit. Then she took me back to the bar so I could get my car. As I got out of her ride, I gave her a quick kiss and told her I'd call her in a day or two.

The next day I didn't have to work, so I gave her a call. But this time I decided that I wasn't going to try and get her into bed, but rather ask her if she would like simply hang out at my place. I wanted to see if we could hang out together and have fun. She didn't answer the phone, so I left a message asking her to come hang out if she would like. She called me after a couple of hours, and seems a bit hesitant to come over. She tells me she had to run home (she was at work) and grab something to eat, and then says she'll give me a call if she felt like coming out. I thought I was getting shot down, but then after about 45 minutes she called me up and said was ready to come over.

She brought over a movie, and we just relaxed on my couch, chatted a bit, and watched the film. After a bit we ended up cuddling again, holding hands, etc. and having a pretty good time (at least I thought). After the movie, I walked her down to her car, kissed her a few times and sent her on her way. I told her we'd get together sometime soon.

So, today goes by and I don't hear from her. I wasn't really expecting her to call me, but thought maybe I'd get a little text or something... but I got nothing. Bummer.

Now, the questions I can't get out of my mind are:

a.) Was she just looking for a booty call during the first date, and figured she would just come over for the second and hang out as to not seem like such a slut for sleeping with me right off the bat? Is that why she sounded hesitant to come hang out? You know, because she didn't really want to but felt like she had to? But then again, it's not as if a chick who sleeps with a guy on the first date has upstanding morals... right?

b.) Do I even want to see a girl that gave it up that easily? In a weird way it's kind of a turn off because I feel like I don't have anything to look forward to as far as building that sexual attraction to get her into bed. But, she is a really cute, bright and smiley person with a big laugh, which I like, and I could see how we would get along pretty well.

c.) Should I call her next, or wait to see if she'll call me? If she never calls me, but will continue to return my calls and hang out, how do I know if she's really into me or just has nothing (or no one) better to do? Usually when I find a girl that really likes me, she can't help but call or text me every now and then.

d.) Is this chick a slut for sleeping with me that fast? Or am I? Maybe she was just super horny...

I know it's only been like... 3 days, and I know I'm going crazy analyzing again... but what do you guys think?

[JBeaucaire]

Simply put, stop analyzing her. Seriously, cut it out. Anything you think about her negatively regarding the way she acted YOU DID TOO. There is nothing you can accuse her of that doesn't apply to you as well.

Just step back, ask yourself what kind of relationship you want to develop, then go after that. You can pursue it with her if you feel there is enough common ground here to base it on, or you can move on and start over with someone you didn't jump into bed with on the first date. Totally your call, both have equal pros and cons.

But you WILL have to talk to this girl honestly about what you two did if you want to pursue it with her AND take it slow. It's not too late to start over. Hard? Yes. But not impossible. But she will have to be on board with it 100%, too.

If she hedges and haws in any way, it may just be better for you both to move on. Talk to her and see.

Meanwhile, stop overthinking this. Talk to her and go with what you clearly get from that conversation. Don't "interpret". If she says something you don't understand, ask her, or give it up and move on.

[N0help4u]

It is not uncommon to go a whole week before you see or hear from somebody you just met.
If you hadn't hit the sack with her so soon you probably wouldn't have this same sense of urgency and over analyzing. You are just going to have to wait it out or call her and ask her ''When we going out again?"
I think I would feel used too if I jumped in the sack first and didn't get to ask questions later

[Romefalls19]

Dude, seriously give it some time. It was one day, most people have a 3 day rule(at least I do) about meeting someone and then calling them because you don't want to come off as desperate.

[plonak]

Yea you seem to be having double standards for this girl.. it takes two to have sex remember! Like they all said.. stop freaking out and let her call you when she's ready.. maybe you also should have a talk with her about moving to fast.. she may be confused that you didn't make a move on her on your second date, maybe she was feeling rejected?

Communication is key to any healthy relationship

[smokedetector]

First off, cuddle is a cute word. I love it :-D.

Second, you can call her in a day or two if you'd like and set up another date, and before you leave say something like, "I had fun tonight, you're a really cool chick and I'd like to see more of you. Why don't you give me a call when you want to hang out again." That way, the ball is in her court, and if she doesn't call you, you have your answer. If she does call you, hopefully some of your fears will be put to rest.

Third, I'll say it too, you are over analyzing all this. She (if she over analyzes things too) is probably thinking twice the things you are, but about you! Give your mind a rest and read a book or something else to get your mind off her. You're setting yourself up to have way too many expectations of a girl you just met. Take her how she is or don't bother. It's up to you. Good luck.

[freakinconfused]

Yea you seem to be having double standards for this girl.. it takes two to have sex remember! Like they all said.. stop freaking out and let her call you when she's ready.. maybe you also should have a talk with her about moving to fast.. she may be confused that you didn't make a move on her on your second date, maybe she was feeling rejected??

Communication is key to any healthy relationship

Hmm, that's a very good point. She could have been feeling confused that I didn't make a move on her... However, we did snuggle up a bit, so there was plenty of physical contact, so I would hope she wasn't feeling rejected. I mean, it's not like I avoided touching her or anything. We just didn't end up getting it on, which was fine by me. I don't always want to. Sometimes I just want to enjoy the other person's company.

I'm not trying to have double standards for her. Like you said, we BOTH did it... I'm just as much of a ho! Hahaha, it's just I've just never started any relationship with a girl (not that this is, in any way, a relationship) by getting it on after one night. I was just kind of wondering if it's even possible. Or, if she was even interested in a relationship at all - not that any of you can answer that. Maybe she just wanted some booty.

[freakinconfused]

First off, cuddle is a cute word. I love it :-D.

Second, you can call her in a day or two if you'd like and set up another date, and before you leave say something like, "I had fun tonight, you're a really cool chick and I'd like to see more of you. Why don't you give me a call when you want to hang out again." That way, the ball is in her court, and if she doesn't call you, you have your answer. If she does call you, hopefully some of your fears will be put to rest.

Third, I'll say it too, you are over analyzing all this. She (if she over analyzes things too) is probably thinking twice the things you are, but about you! Give your mind a rest and read a book or something else to get your mind off of her. You're setting yourself up to have way too many expectations of a girl you just met. Take her how she is or don't bother. It's up to you. Good luck.

Excellently put. I'll do just that!

[mafiaangel180]

Alcohol was definitely in charge. It made you guys feel relaxed enough to do the deed. So don't judge. It took three to tango. ;)

Maybe she just doesn't know how to act now. Maybe she's not used to doing this sort of thing. Just go easy. Let her know that though you enjoyed the evening, you want to get to know her on an emotional level, without the physicality.

[plonak]

Hmm, that's a very good point. She could have been feeling confused that I didn't make a move on her... However, we did snuggle up a bit, so there was plenty of physical contact, so I would hope she wasn't feeling rejected. I mean, it's not like I avoided touching her or anything. We just didn't end up getting it on, which was fine by me. I don't always want to. Sometimes I just want to enjoy the other person's company.

I'm not trying to have double standards for her. Like you said, we BOTH did it... I'm just as much of a ho! Hahaha, it's just I've just never started off any relationship with a girl (not that this is, in any way, a relationship) by getting it on after one night. I was just kind of wondering if it's even possible. Or, if she was even interested in a relationship at all - not that any of you can answer that. Maybe she just wanted some booty.

My friend had sex with her guy on their first date, and now they're married.. so it can work.. that's why I think both of you need to communicate your feelings about it.

[talaniman]

Your letting your mind play tricks on you. You need to let her breath a little and think.

So, today goes by and I don't hear from her. I wasn't really expecting her to call me, but thought maybe I'd get a little text or something... but I got nothing. Bummer.

See how ONE lousy day, and your tripping? Got one word for you... CHILL!

Do something besides think!

[Romefalls19]

Ta is right, you are over analyzing EVERYTHING now. You are becoming obsessive already and you have only went out a few times, this will be a HUGE red flag to her