[Cgirl]

Is it just me or are men and women really more similar than we all think they are. I mean yeah, that book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" was really popular and was a best seller but I tend to disagree with some of what it has to say. Just from reading a lot of the posts that are in the relationship section, men have the same fears in reality, that us women do. The fear of being rejected, the fear of commitment, then after that the fear of being stomped on! AND, I know that men gossip too, because I hear them. They just do it in a different way, like "yea that Bob sure is a brown noser" etc. instead of us "yea, that Julie sticks her boobs in the bosses face too much!" I don't know, what does everyone else think?

[kp2171]

... AND, I know that men gossip too, because I hear them. They just do it in a different way, like "yea that Bob sure is a brown noser" ect. instead of us "yea, that Julie sticks her boobs in the bosses face too much!" I don't know, what does everyone else think?

the men in my wife's father's coffee circle told more gossip and lies than anything. She calls them a bunch of hens. After she and I eloped (he was at the wedding) he called us up a couple of months later and asked if there was anything we needed to tell him. After a few seconds of this she said "just what is it you supposedly know?!" well there was speculation that she was pregnant, hence the quick ceremony. My wife informed him that he would be the third in line to know about the condition of her uterus... and he could make the coffee bunch next in line if he so wished. =)

"boobs in..face too much"..? I'm so confused. Speak english. ;)

[Cgirl]

"boobs in..face too much"..? I mean like men will say to each other "that bob guy sure is a suck up" and a woman might say "that julie sure shoves her boobs in the bosses face a lot" in other words, she uses her boobs to get what she wants, like brown nosing. I am just trying to compare the two, saying how they are similar.

[RickJ]

I think MAFM,WARV is deeper than that. It's heavy Psychology in a light reading cover. I loved the book... but fair warning: I am biased. I am Dobsonian in my views of relationships and roles and psychology in general.

Men and women are, indeed, alike in many ways... but also very different in many way.

The biggest thing I remember about the book (My wife and I read it when it first came out) is that the both of us laughed our butts off it seemed at every other page thinking "gosh is this guy looking through our windows?!

[Cgirl]

Yea rickj, I see your point. I just want to say that I don't like it when people make generalizations about the opposite sex, and that we are similar in a lot of ways. I do agree, too, though that there are distinct differences as well. My husband and I for example are very different, but also very similar in our fears and hopes and dreams. I guess what I am getting at is the stereotypical male and female... are not so stereotypical anymore. Men can be emotional and women can be emotionless and vice versa. I did like the book however for its humor.

[orange]

Yes I like and mostly agree with the John Grey series as well. When I first read the books, I felt the same way as Rick did. My husband and I relate to many of the things mentioned.

I agree that men and women have a lot of the same worries, concerns and fears, but the way they deal with these problems is usually very different IMO. For a simple example, when I have a problem, I need to talk and talk about it until it's resolved. However, my husband is embarrassed to talk about it all. He would rather "fix it" immediately, or if he can't do that, he clams up about it until he can fix it. Part of that might have to do with being a doctor (they are expected to know everything), but I think it also has to do with him being male.

He also seems to think that doing ONE household chore, such as taking out the garbage, makes him a terrific husband lol. Whereas I judge myself as a good wife only if I have cleaned the whole #$*& house! :D

[Cgirl]

I do agree with you though orange, when I am upset about something I obsess over it and I can't let it go until I fix it. If this means talking about it until it's resolved, then so be it. My husband on the other hand, would just rather drop it, or move on. He would even apologize for something just to drop the subject even if I was the one that was wrong. But, I know females like this also. I guess what I am trying to get at is I don't like the way society says that men are supposed to be un-emotional and tough. I know that I will not raise my son this way, because this is how my husband was raised and he has a lot of problems now dealing with emotions. I want my son to be able to cry if he needs to and not be afraid of what everyone will think of his manhood. I guess I should change the topic of this thread to, "I wish the world was not so stereotypical" or something. I don't know. :)

[orange]

Yup I know what you mean. I don't really want my sons to be like my husband, either. It doesn't seem very healthy to keep things bottled up inside. However, the sad part is, they will likely turn out very similar to him, as the male role model in a boy's life is very important. But I'm certainly going to try and change that a bit!

Although on the other hand, it's not all bad if they turn out like him. He is a very supportive and loving husband, successful, intelligent and a good provider. I just have to make sure he doesn't see this post now, or he's going to have a swelled head for the next year or so! :D

[talaniman]

Lets get this straight If I do my duty and take out the garbage,I've done my chores and deserve a few beers and some TV time You females aren't from Venus your all Kligons and will never be satisfied.:cool: :eek:

[talaniman]

And how dare you think you can change men:cool: :eek:

[talaniman]

And furthermore... Here she comes got to go... "YES DEAR... :cool: :D

[orange]

And how dare you think you can change men:cool: :eek:

LOL well my adoptive mom said she had to train my dad and that it took her about 10 years to do it hahaha!!

Actually so far I mostly like my husband the way he is, and I don't feel like "training" him. Besides, I have 2 kids, another on the way, and 2 dogs to train, so no time for working on him!! :p

[talaniman]

My wife is still training me but the newspaper in the den still escapes me,any ideas?:cool: :confused:

[kp2171]

And how dare you think you can change men:cool: :eek:

this is where my wife would ask you

"are you done with that pretty little hissy fit, bunny?"

=)

[s_cianci]

A lot of what you say might be true but I do believe there are some fundamental differences in the way men and women approach things. One big difference is that men tend to isolate things in their own categories while women see everything as intertwined and working together. For example, a man can have a bad day on the job but that doesn't mean that his evening at home is ruined as well. If a woman has a bad day on the job, however, it's almost certainly going to affect her life at home with her family as well. Another big difference is that women tend to internalize and personalize things much more than men do. For example, if a woman is criticized by her boss, she'll usually become very hurt and upset about it and question her own self worth as a person. If a man is criticized by his boss, however, he's much more likely to shrug it off and not take it personally. Often he'll even turn it around and blame the boss with a remark like "The boss is a dork. (S)he doesn't know what (s)he's talking about." Things like this are the central focus of the theory behind the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus."

[Cgirl]

:) lol
Hehe

[fredg]

Hi,
I do agree that men and women tend to approach things differently. I haven't read the book. I have known both men and women that could have been from a very different place than Mars or Venus!
I do think that with each passing year, both men and women come closer to looking at the same things; especially in the "career" aspects and full-time jobs.

[milliec]

Right Talaniman!
How dare we change you man?
But how dares anyone be even attempt to change another person? Be it a man or a woman.
It's useless anyway: people change only if THEY want to.
In any case, in the 70is we did the huge mistake and decided we were nothing else but another version of men.I know perfectly well how we got into this situation, I, myself lived through the whole process. In any case, I remember when our baby daughter was born, I was mystified to see certain minute gestures I never noticed with our 3 years old son.
It got me thinking...
I KNOW one shouldn't generalize like this!
But still...
We all endure: pain, sensitivities, the same emotions package.
You can find honesty, loyalty, liars, cheaters, etc. equally in both genders.
The difference lies in what we do with all these things.
As far as I can see, there is something to the "got to fix it!"
Trait when it comes to men's reaction to problems, as opposed to to a need to discuss things which overtakes us, and I think this is one of the major causes of conflict or at least, misunderstanding between us.
I'm familiar with the way boys used to be educated to not express their suffering ("boys don't cry"... ) - the way they were encouraged to keep their feelings to themselves.
As far as I know, this is changing.
:)
Millie

[sovaira]

i totally agree with the questionee(Cgirl)


<"yea, that Julie sticks her boobs in the bosses face too much!" I don't know, what does everyone else think?>

when i read this statement i laughed out like anything ..................:D

Actually yes there is lot hell of difference the way guys talk and gossip and the way women talk.it is not only in west but here in my region as well.But I think guys talk in pretty dual way and less harmful than women do...

I have also observed and heard guys and girls talk, the guys will say that in a way it won't harm or throw a fight but when girl say something they surely end up tearing eachtohers tops and pulling hair.


HAY GUYS THE BALL ISI N YOUR COURT... CHEERS!