[SpyBorg82]

Ok. So I joined match.com. I met started chatting with a girl who is the same age, and lives in the same general area as I do. FYI, her and I are both 26 yrs old. Anyway, the conversation on the phone was great. She seemed to share the same interests as I do. These would be education, teaching, and having strong family values. The other night we finally met for coffee. The night went well. I was sppeared interested in everything she was speaking about. However, all she kept talking about was shopping, traveling, shopping where she traveled to. Basically, everything she was talking about revolved around money.

Now, I feel when people start to talk up things like that when they first meet, chances are they do not have it as good as they are making it seem. Aside from this, she was a little bit on the chubby side, so I feel this was her defense mechanism kicking in in trying to make her look appealing. I could be wrong, but this is what I think. After about an hour and a half, the night ended. When we left, she said she had a nice time and that we could do dinner after the weekend, since she was going to vegas for the weekend.

For me, I felt the night did not go that well only because I learned so much about her, but I felt she did not learn that much about me in our meeting. Keep in mind I kept the conversation on her because she seemed like the type that loved to speak and speak about herself.

About an hour after the night ended, I get a text message from her saying that she had a really nice time. At this point, I felt one of two things. The first being that she still is interested and would like a second date. The second being that she was just trying to be nice, and I will never hear form her again.

What do you think??

[HistorianChick]

Well, if she left the dinner saying that she would like to have dinner when she returns from her trip, I would guess that yes, she is interested in a second date.

The real question is, are you?

Sometimes, meeting people online gives you this happy-bubble-vision of the other person, one that is not quite fact. But other times, you're completely and pleasantly surprised with who the person really is. This may be one of the times that you had ideals and thoughts of her and she simply did not meet up to your expectations.

There really is nothing wrong with that. The chemistry wasn't there. If you think that maybe she was nervous and trying to impress you and you want to give it another chance, I'd do so in a casual manner. When she gets back from her trip, call her up and ask her to go do something casual. You could even meet there if you want to try and alleviate some of her nervousness.

If you don't think that you'd like to see if you two are compatible, then I would let her know now. So that she doesn't assume that you're getting together when she gets back.

You're still in the very beginning stages of a potential relationship/friendship. Honesty is always best.

Good luck! :)

[SpyBorg82]

You know what, I am willing to follow this up with another date or two to see who she is and what she is really about.

[HistorianChick]

You know what, I am willing to follow this up with another date or two to see who she is and what she is really about.

That's great! I think that's a great decision.

Make sure she knows that you had a nice time and would like to see where you two could go. You don't have to say it in so many words, just make sure that she knows you're still there. A "How's the trip going?" or "Hope you're having fun" would suffice... that way, she won't wonder if she'll never hear from you again.

:) Keep us posted! :)

[SpyBorg82]

That's great! I think that's a great decision.

Make sure she knows that you had a nice time and would like to see where you two could go. You don't have to say it in so many words, just make sure that she knows you're still there. A "How's the trip going?" or "Hope you're having fun" would suffice... that way, she won't wonder if she'll never hear from you again.

:) Keep us posted! :)

You don't think this would be overdoing it? I think when you put yourself out there too much, it comes off as a turn off. I could be wrong. I am still wondering if she really was interested or just being nice.

[HistorianChick]

As a woman, there is a fine line between "not putting yourself out there" and "he's not interested." Have you had any contact with her since your first date?

Personally, if the date went well and I said "I'd love to have dinner with you when I return from my trip" then texted you an hour after the dinner and said "I had a great time", I'd be interested.

If you don't reciprocate the "I had a great time", how is she to know that it wasn't one-sided and her nervousness put you off for good?

Sometimes, you have to be willing to go out on a limb... I'm not telling you that's what you should do, but in this case... she sounds interested. She didn't have to text you. She got home, was thinking back over the date, and wanted you to know she had a good time. :)

[SpyBorg82]

I actually just called her to tell her "thank you for the text last night. I also had a nice time, and would love to hear about your trip when you come back" However, I got her voicemail, but I did reciprocate.

[HistorianChick]

Perfect. Now you just wait! (This is the hard part!)

[thoughtiwastheman]

I don't think you should proceed with this. You got nothing but bad impressions from her. You even thought she was "chubby." I'm a true believe in listening to your gut or instinct. I think you might be forcing this because you just want another date. I suggest you be patient. I may be completely wrong but this is the impression and gut feeling I got from reading your post. P.s. her talking about herself is not a surprise. Women love to talk about themselves. Let her do it as much as she wants. You'll actually come across as a good listener. That is if you are listening... lol.

[SpyBorg82]

I understand in always trusting your gut. Aside from that, I do not mind the "chubby" aspect. I only put that out there because I thought there were other reasons as to why she was talking up her money, shopping and traveling.

[SpyBorg82]

It has been over 3 hours now since I left the voicemail. I still have not heard anything.

[HistorianChick]

Does she work? She could be in a meeting and be waiting to call until she's done. Or, she could have left her phone in her car or at home.

Waiting is the hardest part... I feel for you! :(

[SpyBorg82]

Actually she was laid off from citigroup. Before we met, she was a little more responsive with the text messages and calling.

[HistorianChick]

It could be a number of different things...

I don't know what to tell you... wish I could explain it all, but I guess waiting is your only option... :(

Give her a bit... and try not to worry.

[hjpan]

Go on a second date & see what happens!

[Rockstar714]

The chubby thing has nothing to do with it. I've been chubby my whole life and I don't use talking about shopping and traveling (or something along those lines) as a defense mechanism. Maybe she really really enjoys those things, maybe its not about the money. Find out what else she likes. See what outdoorsy thing she likes, bring up something you guys talked about on match.com or something. Steer the conversation away from money and see what happens. Plan a date that doesn't take money like a picnic or a walk in the park and see what happens.

[SpyBorg82]

Ok... so I never heard anything all day after I left her a voice mail in response to her text message after our first meeting. I left the voice manil around 12pm yesterday. I never heard anything back from her until 11:30 that night.

[HistorianChick]

Did you hear back from her?

[SpyBorg82]

She sent a text last night apologizing for not calling back because she was extremely busy all day. Said she will call me today. I left it just like that.

[HistorianChick]

Good to hear. :)