[poppysue]

:confused: :confused: Hi All
Well after weeks of unhappiness and quite a few tears and heartbreak, and much more, after my partner of 18 years wanted to break up, she moved out, came back , moved out and came back again.
Its been a little more than a week now that she is back and we have talked and came both to an agreement that we both want to continue our relationship and work on it one step at a time. We both agreed that we have our independence but making sure that we spend a lot of time working on us.
ONLY - she still goes out a lot, with a mutual friend, to Private Art Reviews and the like, I have absolutely no objections to that at all, as I find them boring, BUT this "Friend" text my Partner all day and night, for this and that, and my Partner jumps to her every need. I have asked her if there is anything going on, she said no, its just this friend feels very lonely and down, and she needs help and support. I then asked her in order to work on our relationship we need to find time to do it and if she could tune it down and spend more time with me. My partner than said that she would but every time this "friend" text my Partner asks me if I mind that she goes and sees her. I asked her even if I mind would she go anyway, and the answer was "Yes". She swears there is nothing going on, she is just a friend in need, BUt my question is - How do I state the fact to my partner that if she really wants this relationship to continue she has to start spending the time to work with me. And let this "friend" go a bit. Every time I do mention this my Partner is on one
I am trying so hard not to loose it - but I don't know how much longer I can.

[N0help4u]

It seems good to you that she is back but then if she is not really into the relationship it has only bought you a little time. What I see here (I may be wrong) is that she is saying this friend 'needs' her, yet it seems that your 'neediness' is what is driving her away from you.

[poppysue]

Hi NOhelp4u

Well I believe strongly that you are right as I have confronted my Partner and she admitted that even so she is very much still in Love with me, she needs her independence. She feels like a rebellious Teenager, not wanted to be told what, where and when. (BTW - I never have done that, we used to discuss everthing).

I am going for my first Counseling session on Thursday next week, and hopefully everything will be become much clearer, as I need help to cope with my feeling towards her. I am falling apart and after 25 years of being teatotal, I have started drinking (a lot).

Thank you for your response, much appreciated.

Poppysue xx