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hurtingmom610 · Jul 20, 2008, 07:41 PM

My 27 year old son who I raised as a single parent is so mean to me , I'm convinced he hates me. He used to be a fun, kind, free spirited Child and young man. In the past 4 years he seems to be filled with hate and anger toward me all the time. Everything I say or do he berates and embarrasses me in front of others. This all started around the time he started in on a long term relationship and joined Kabbalah. I don't know if these are the causes or what the cause is but he has a no tolerance attitude and has gone for months to a year at a time without speaking to me. He refuses to take my calls or when he does says horrible things to me. I have always been very open,active and supportive with all my Children. I have been especially excepting and loving toward my son being gay, that was never a problem. His partner is amazing and we all love him very much. My son and I used to be so close, he would call me all the time just to talk. I don't know why he is acting this way. I know he's not on drugs, in fact health and wellness is very important to him. I think of him and miss him daily. My heart aches to hear his voice. The last thing he said to me was, how do you always manage to spoil a perfectly wonderful day... this makes so sad. I sit and cry a lot, I can't imagine my son treating me this way. It's the ultimate betrayal.

rsain2004 · Jul 21, 2008, 12:15 AM

I am a 60 year old, born 01/1949. I witness behavior by young people today, which my parents, grandparents and neighbors would never have tolerated from me... When you approach him, he attacks... So don't approach him any more... If one doesn't take care of oneself, how can one take care of anyone else? Do not be a victim to his abuse, no-one deserves that... Cut him loose and preserve yourself, that's the only way you are available to help others... God bless...

hurtingmom610 · Jul 21, 2008, 07:41 AM

Thank you rsain2004. I pray daily for wisdom and strength to do what is right. I will no longer tolerate his evil and manipulative ways. I will cut him loose until he is willing to change.

btwnice1 · Feb 4, 2010, 02:00 PM

Hello, I like many other women is bearing the brundt of my son's self loathing. I come from a household with abandoment issues and I swore I'd never dod that to my son, and my son has hurt me for so many years, since 17- just turning 30. We thought we saw inprovement at the age of 21, but then met a women who was divorced and ten years older than him and she had 3 children. When the g/f decided she could not stand me, she lived her life to turn everything and anything I did or said against me, but I wouldn't believe it. Well he hasn't spoken to be in over 6yrs, and they just had a baby November 30, 2009, and of course we were never told about the baby, our daughter read it in the paper, and every time I go through these horrible abandoment issues from my son... I've gone to counseling, talked to God, cried... etc etc... but the thing since the baby that turned me around is... I realize he does not know the extent of his hurt and one day (hopefully) he will, with me alive or gone... and I keep visulizing I have a good relationship with him and things are OK... and for some reason that givees me great peace. I've told my son, no matter what you say, no matter what you do, you WILL NEVER MAKE ME STOP LOVING YOU, and I am comforted to know I LIVE ON, IN MY GRAND BABY. Lord knows, he cannot drain my blood out of her. I am worth loving.. I am worth knowing and if not in this life.. I will see them all again one day. Peace to everyone who has experienced the pain, from a son... NO MOTHER SHOULD GO THROUGH THIS... after all... and I think of this while he is changing his daughter, feeding his daughter, caring for his daughter... one day he (might) realize how his dad and I scaraficed for him, and worked together to give hm a good life.. yea, we had hard times, but it was always base in love, and I pray one day his little girl does her baby magice on him and he comes to remember the "love" he had from us. He may be using "me" to keep this going, but the shrinks always say, they hurt the ones they love, because they can. I figure I have carried many burdens while raising him, ( after all, he was a very hard child to raise) What's one more. I pray, we are around when he figures, life out.

mother_59 · Nov 27, 2011, 04:15 PM

Hurtingmom started this topic 3 years ago? Any improvement since then?
I am in the same sad situation, my 27 years old son hates me... I realized that recently after an argument with him. You can imagine how sad and miserable I am, starting counseling next week.. But asking myself again and again why I failed as a parent.

Gryphyn34 · Nov 28, 2011, 02:45 PM

I'm sorry he is doing this to you. It does sound like he is going through something and is taking out his frustrations on people yourself in particular. Have you spoken to his partner? His partner may know why he is acting this way. Maybe talk to the partner about his behavior with you and see if he can be a buffer until this can be resolved. I hate to read that you cut your son loose over this. I hope it works out for you.