[gcaw]

Hi--considering moving to calif(other coast/far away) for a new start and hopefully gainful employment after having been divorced/seperated for 8 years. The kids are 11-13-17+18 and will undoubtly be dissapointed--how is best to break the news and do u think it is something I should even consider? Have been unemployed for over 1 year and need a fresh start!

[RickJ]

I would urge you to reconsider for your children's sake. I know it's a tough call if you are desperate for work, and I certainly do not know the full situation you are in, but certainly the time you'd get to spend with them would be reduced to a fraction of what it is now, wouldn't it? Can you really consider that?

Please do not think me being judgmental at all... I'm just sharing a thought.

[CaptainForest]

I would say DON'T move. Your children (18 yr old and 17 yr old) will be graduating this year and next, don't let them miss out with all their friends.

But perhaps in 2 years you could move then.

But, if you really want to move, first discuss it with them. See what they think.

But of course, it is your decision in the end.

But you might find heavy resistance from your 2 older ones who might choose to stay behind.

When my parents thought about moving, I was a little kid, so while I objected, I didn't have an option. If I was 17 or 18, I might have stuck around for my Senior year of High School.

[Fr_Chuck]

I will have to agree, unless you have a "job" to move to, you are just moving hopeing that something better will come around.

Hopefully you also have friends that are there to help you where you are at now, and manybe family?

But unemployment is unemployment no matter where you live, people in California move to Texas, people in Texas move to chicago everyone things it is better somewhere else.

What you need to do is work on a plan to get a job where you are at.
Or even search though the US, but only move to a job, not in search for one, you can search for jobs in California on monster.com or use search companies.

[fredg]

Hi,
There will be no "easy" way to break this kind of news to your children.
Many military families are use to moving all over the country, but your children aren't.
If you already have been accepted for a job in CA, then I suggest moving. The children will not like it, but will get over it.
If you haven't any idea of a job in CA, then I agree with the other answers you have received, and don't move, simply with the idea of "I might find something" better.
It is your decision, and I wish you the best in making it. Good luck.

[s_cianci]

Do you have custody of all 4 of the kids? Have you discussed with them the possibility of moving to California? Is the job market in California any better than where you're living now? Keep in mind that California has one of the highest costs of living of any state. Wages do tend to be proportionally higher as compensation but I'd investigate the matter very carefully before making such a drastic decision. Have you received a firm job offer? If so then the move might be worth it. Your children are somewhat older so maybe they each could be given the option of moving with you or remaining and moving in with their father (assuming that their father is in the same area and is capable of providing properly for them.) As an alternative, maybe moving to a new area that isn't so far away as California where the job market is better than where your are now is an option.

[gods angel]

I think it's a great ideal when we have been through so much in life we need new changes so I say to you go for it.