[ForeverZero]

Not for nothing, but wasn't your last thread about still being in love with an ex?

[erin7799]

It doesn't seem like that much of an age gap, but it really is when you're 17 and you're wanting to date a 14 yr. old. 14 is just so young. I remember how much I grew physically, mentally, socially... in that short 3 yrs. Chuff is right, though. It may be up to the parents on this one.

[starbuck8]

It doesn't seem like that much of an age gap, but it really is when you're 17 and you're wanting to date a 14 yr. old. 14 is just so young. I remember how much I grew physically, mentally, socially... in that short 3 yrs. Chuff is right, though. It may be up to the parents on this one.

You are right, in that the gap between 17 and 14 is huge! A 14 yr old, no matter how mature, has a lot to learn about herself. A 17 yr old also has an awful lot to learn, with her raging hormones. It doesn't matter if the girl or boy, is gay or straight, it's a matter of getting to know and understand themselves. I would be just as against a 14 yr old boy/girl, dating a 17 yr old girl/boy, although being gay has a whole different set of challenges. Don't be in a hurry, and know that relationships will likely come and go, just as they do in a heterosexual relationship, so you need to be prepared and know that everything isn't going to be smooth sailing for you.

[JBeaucaire]

You need separate what was and what is. You need to NOT impugn past feelings and love declarations simply because they are no longer true.

You two tried to take you natural attraction to one another (something out of your control, right? It just happened on its own) and turn it into something more. During that time you express your deep feelings out loud. That's fine.

But reality proved you two weren't really compatible that way. And this has NOTHING to do with feelings, it's about longevity and compatibility, plain and simple.

So, it's over now. The feelings expressed were real, the intent was real, but it was not meant to succeed, and didn't.

Now, it's just a time thing. You'll move on at some point. But don't make the breakup any harder than it is by trying to compare "we are trying to make it" times with "we aren't trying anymore" times. OK?

[KissMe10der]

Well, I have always dated older men.. You know, honestly its only 3 years difference. Im in a relationship right now and he is 37 and Im 21. 3 years isn't even extreme. I think if you care for her.. go for it. People are always going to have something to say... its just human nature to make others feel like they are doing something wrong cause its not something they would do. Just make sure parents are OK with it.

[starbuck8]

Well, I have always dated older men.. You know, honestly its only 3 years difference. Im in a relationship right now and he is 37 and Im 21. 3 years isnt even extreme. I think if you care for her.. go for it. People are always going to have something to say... its just human nature to make others feel like they are doing something wrong cause its not something they would do. Just make sure parents are ok with it.

You are missing the point here. There is a huge difference between someone being 21 and dating someone older! A 13 yr old girl that hasn't yet learned about her sexuality, and her social skills, cannot make an informed decision based upon experience. Hormones are raging in your teen years, and wrong decisions are made based upon the heat of the moment, and the need to feel loved or part of the crowd. Being Gay, if that is the case, is hard enough to deal with when you are discovering your own sexuality, let alone trying to deal with someone that has already come to grips with their own gender preference.

What you have described is a totally different scenario. This is a case of a young teen, and a much older teen, who have not yet found their niche in life. Read back through all of the posts, and maybe you will understand a little bit more. You are comparing apples to oranges!

[Kevin_s]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ld-241251.html

Read through that thread if you have not already done so, though this thread given is male/female, the same concepts and advice apply to your situation.

I commend you for having the courage to come out to your parents.

[erin7799]

Huge difference between a 14 yr. old and a 17 yr. old. I don't think you 2 at this age could possibly be at the same place in your lives. She's probably just barely out of middle school and you're on your way out of High School. It's just such a huge age gap at this point in your lives. When you're 21 and she's 18, that's totally different. By then she will have caught up to you.

[Fr_Chuck]

No, it is wrong, the 14 year old is a child, not a mature person with a sexual personality. At this issue the 17 is nothing but a molestor and should know that 14 year old is off limits from a sexual view point.

[drummergirl6]

Will do my best thank you

[drummergirl6]

not for nothin, but wasn't your last thread about still being in love with an ex?

Yeah it was I just trying to move on

[erin7799]

You can't use a 14 year old girl to "move on". You need to take time for yourself and try to free yourself of the feelings that you have for the other person and then move on with someone who is your own age. If she's just a rebound anyway, ulimately she's going to be hurt.

[N0help4u]

Moving on doesn't work too well when you try to do it by jumping into another relationship
Rebounds only cause more problems and 14 yr olds are jail bait if somebody wants to make an issue out of it. Even if you don't do anything people do start rumors and lies.

[drummergirl6]

Nah I ent running into anything we just good mates an she real nice

[KissMe10der]

Even with the age difference of 21 and 37... I also started dating at 13. My 4 year relationship there was a 3 year difference. I was a freshmen, he was a junior in high school, when we started dating. I feel it was all right, but again people mature at different rates. What works for me, doesn't work for everyone.

[meeeee]

If you feel strongly about her, go for it! Age shouldn't matter! :-) Good luck!

[starbuck8]

If you feel strongly about her, go for it! Age shouldn't matter! :-) Good luck!

This is bordering on child abuse! It is wrong no matter how you look at it. 14 yr old girls should be more focused on their teen yrs. and not having to make relationship decisions. 14 is much too young whether the relationship is straight or gay. The maturity level is just not there! It's wrong on so many levels.

[liz28]

In your other thread you stated that you just broke up with your ex 3 weeks ago and is still in love with her. Is this the 14 year old, because I don't think so. Why woulc you even want to damage this girl if your not even over your past and drag her into?

Leave her alone and work with your own problems. I just confused with your posts and it seems this girl will only get hurt by you and like some people before she might be unsure of what sex she wants to get involve with, where as you already know. Let her mature and choose her own path.

[N0help4u]

Yeah she pretty much admitted that this girl is a rebound.

[Rabbit91]

wel im a girl ive just turned 17 im gay an ive come out to my family an friends an i met this girl wel we kinda beeen flirting a little bit but she is 14 an i dunno if it is wrong to date a girl this young as of the maturity levels between us, i just wanted ur views thank you

Are you guys 2years or 3 years apart?

Like is she turning 15 really soon? While your not turning 18 till next year?

Anyways- I think its OK, you can't get each other pregnant. The maturity levels might be a tad uneven. But if your both mature enough I say age has no limits.

May I ask where you live?