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teena bell · Jul 17, 2008, 05:52 PM

My dad , well, let me start like this. I just found my dad after 23 years. He has married again and she ran across some of my post and he didn't even tell her about me. He didn't even tell her that he'd been married before I don't think. He told me that I should have posted that I was his cousin or something because now he is "in a lot of trouble" I don't understand what I did werong. I have exchanged e-mails with her because she got my e-mail from a site that I posted on with my e-mail. I don't know what to do I know that he is really mad now and now I think that I just messd up and he'll never speak to me again . Someone please respond and help I'm just very lost now and don't know what to do .I would appreciate it very much.

N0help4u · Jul 17, 2008, 05:57 PM

You really didn't do anything wrong. He should have told you right off the bat if he didn't want you to tell her anything. He should have been up front with you.

ylaira · Jul 17, 2008, 06:00 PM

It has nothing to do with you. Your dad may have made some cobweb of lies or secrets and your sudden appearance will destroy it all that's why he's mad. It may be hard but ignore it. Sleep well. You're innocent and nothing to feel ashamed of.He owes an apology to you as a matter of fact.For sure his new wife is upset to learn about you. After fixing things up with her, I'm sure your dad will be okay to you again. This shall pass.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 17, 2008, 06:03 PM

If he says anything tell him not to lie next time and he will not have to be in the wrong.
You did nothing wrong, he needs to tell you he is sorry

liz28 · Jul 17, 2008, 06:09 PM

Any father that tries to hide that he has a child, is no good at her. I think the wife is mad at that fact alone about her husband. How can you hide a child, that speaks volumes about his character. Then to turn around and wished you had lied, what a character.

Don't be hard on yourself, how did you know that he did not tell her. I'm sorry this happen but in the end he will pay for his own lies. You'll going feel hurt, especially since the relationship was new.

ordinaryguy · Jul 17, 2008, 06:14 PM

You didn't mess up, he messed up by trying to hide his past from his new wife, and he deserves to be in whatever trouble he's in because of it. Don't let him guilt-trip you about this. I know you'd like to please him and all, but if he can't be honest with her, it certainly isn't your job to cover up for him.

talaniman · Jul 17, 2008, 06:56 PM

You may have to accept the fact your long lost dad is a creep! So sorry.

teena bell · Jul 17, 2008, 07:23 PM

Originally Posted by liz28

Any father that tries to hide that he has a child, is no good at her. I think the wife is mad at that fact alone about her husband. How can you hide a child, that speaks volumes about his character. Then to turn around and wished you had lied, what a character.

Don't be hard on yourself, how did you know that he did not tell her. I'm sorry this happen but in the end he will pay for his own lies. You'll going feel hurt, especially since the relationship was new.

I was not up set that she found out or was up set at first I would probley be too, but, when he called me he said that why didn't you just say you were my cousin looking for me thatis what hurt, he wanted ME HIS DAUGHTER, not to exist. The web is the only help I had. I have no relationship with my mom and its just me and my daughter who is 3, ans well, she can't help me look 4 my dad can she, it just hurt.
His wife seemes really nice though, and we just exchanged e-mails and she sent me some photos of my dad,and well, should I act like he never said what he did how do I go abou forgeting something like that and should I forget it so fast? I'm just comfused myself I am still l young and have no one to help but, you guys thanks for helping me !

Romefalls19 · Jul 17, 2008, 07:36 PM

Your dad is a liar, he got caught in a lie and is mad at you for telling the truth.. Tell him next time to clear the air what his daughter can and cannot tell about his past

teena bell · Jul 17, 2008, 07:46 PM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Your dad is a liar, he got caught in a lie and is mad at you for telling the truth.. Tell him next time to clear the air what his daughter can and cannot tell about his past

Thank you I'm not going to lie 4 anyone. It would seem like the girl that was his little girl would mean something more to him . I know he loves his wife also but, just because the past is the past don't mean it stays there sometimes right?but, thank you for answering and to be blunt and I completely agree!!

teena bell · Jul 17, 2008, 07:47 PM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Your dad is a liar, he got caught in a lie and is mad at you for telling the truth.. Tell him next time to clear the air what his daughter can and cannot tell about his past

I can t reate you yet but points 4 you all.

Romefalls19 · Jul 17, 2008, 07:51 PM

No offense, but you're not the past, you are a part of his life. When he decided to have relations with your mother, and have a child that made you his past, present and future. I am just sorry your dad is suffering from lack of testiclitis and can't seem to acknowledge his own daughter.

teena bell · Jul 18, 2008, 01:28 PM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

No offense, but you're not the past, you are a part of his life. When he decided to have relations with your mother, and have a child that made you his past, present and future. I am just sorry your dad is suffering from lack of testiclitis and can't seem to acknowledge his own daughter.

I know but, I can t change him , it's just my daughter and myself. At least you'd think he would want a relationship with his grandaughter, his only "blood" he never had anymore kids. When he called he was mad because I did not post that I was his cousin or something, its like he wanted ME not to exist and that is what hurt. And I just dontunderstand on how someone can't love their children. Yes, he never was around but, he should still have a feeling of love somewhat by just knowing that I am part of him . I don't know . People are weird sometimes . Or depends on who you ask I'm the weird one LOL

progunr · Jul 18, 2008, 01:35 PM

It has already been said, but your dad has a proven track record of being a jerk.

You can't change, or be responsible for that.

He does not deserve any type of relationship with you, you are far to good for him.

I know it must be painful, but he is the one who is screwed up, not you.

sully123 · Jul 18, 2008, 03:04 PM

YOU DID NOTHING WRONG! I am sorry. But after you found him after 23 yrs. And he is still trying to hide you, it tells me a lot about his character. My daughter found after father aafter 21 yrs.. his wife told him it was his daughter or his marriage, he chose his marriage. It took him 34 yrs they he made a horrible mistake.. and regrets every minute of when he left me after she was born. Two granddaughters and as I said 34 yrs later he finally came to his senses.. now is so happy he chose to be in their lives... But you know something my ex husband who raised and adopted my daughter will always be her Daddy, not her biological father, the man who raised her and was up at night with me is her father in my eyes..

teena bell · Jul 18, 2008, 03:49 PM

Originally Posted by sully123

YOU DID NOTHING WRONG! I am sorry. but after you found him after 23 yrs. and he is still trying to hide you, it tells me alot about his character. My daughter found after father aafter 21 yrs.. his wife told him it was his daughter or his marriage, he chose his marriage. It took him 34 yrs they he made a horrible mistake.. and regrets every minute of when he left me after she was born. Two granddaughters and as I said 34 yrs later he finally came to his senses..now is so happy he chose to be in their lives...But you know something my ex husband who raised and adopted my daughter will always be her Daddy, not her biological father, the man who raised her and was up at night with me is her father in my eyes..

I never even had that

teena bell · Jul 18, 2008, 03:52 PM

Originally Posted by sully123

YOU DID NOTHING WRONG! I am sorry. but after you found him after 23 yrs. and he is still trying to hide you, it tells me alot about his character. My daughter found after father aafter 21 yrs.. his wife told him it was his daughter or his marriage, he chose his marriage. It took him 34 yrs they he made a horrible mistake.. and regrets every minute of when he left me after she was born. Two granddaughters and as I said 34 yrs later he finally came to his senses..now is so happy he chose to be in their lives...But you know something my ex husband who raised and adopted my daughter will always be her Daddy, not her biological father, the man who raised her and was up at night with me is her father in my eyes..

In many ways it was not his fault for not being there, I was kidnaped and kept in a shoe closet for a long time and them she moved a lot so it was almost impossible to find me he was only 24 when it happened . I'm not making reasons for him , but, it is a long story, and it sounds like I'm making up mu story ,and its not made up , I lived it until I finally gor the currage to leave. And didn't even know a name until I got my birth records, I just in many ways understand in many ways I don't that is what makes me mad.