[Lexicon29]

Hello,

I have been dating this girl for almost seven years. During the first four, we had sex several times per week but then I moved in with her and that all changed. After our fourth anniversary, her mother died and then we started having sex less and less. About four months later, I moved in and we stopped having sex altogether. We haven't had sex in over two years. I don't know what to do.

She says she'll be ready and I just need to wait, but for me it's not just about sex. We don't make out, we don't kiss intimately, we don't even share the same bed. I love her with all my heart but I honestly don't know how much longer I can wait. Every attempt at physical connection I make, she rejects. Should I continue to wait it out or try to find someone new?

[Xrayman]

I would sit her down and say what your needs are, what her needs are and find some common ground. Losing her mother would probably hurt A LOT, however for that to ruin the lives of people left behind eg: you and her, she may need further help from a psych or counselling.

[Synnen]

Sex or not, couples need intimacy to stay connected.

Out of curiosity---why seven years and no proposal? Is that, perhaps, what she's waiting for? Could there be hidden resentments on her part that her mother died before being able to see her wedding---even though you had already been dating FOUR YEARS at that point?

I really suggest couples counseling for you, mainly because you're not communicating at the same level at this point, and there seems to be something she's NOT telling you.

[smoothy]

This started after her mother died... sounds like depression to me. THat can be treated.

Get her counseling and treatment or move on. If you are going to be celibate you should at least have the options of dating someone until you are ready.

But like Synnen said... four years is a long time to be dating without an egagement or wedding plans. She may be feeling like a booty call.