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beebeecee · Jul 16, 2008, 01:46 AM

I had some wild and stupid times between the ages of 13 and 16, finally I'd had enough I was tired and hungry and hurting so I stopped answering the phone, answering the door, or going out and talking to all my old "friends" at all. I see it as a really positive move, before my wild and stupid days I enjoyed nothing more than school work and reading books by the carload and taking care of my pets and over the last few years I've come to love those things once again.

I ask this because my mother is forever "diagnosing" me with various mental illnesses - like agorophobia(sp?) and depression and such and I'm sure that there's nothing wrong with me but it gets a bit annoying, I'm fine going out I'm just so very content and happy doing what I'm doing right now and knowing that I'm not going to be arrested or get a STD or any of the other bad things that happen to nieve young girls.

It actually took a really long time to come to terms with how monumentally stupid I was being and I still beat myself up about it sometimes but for the most part I've made peace and learned from my mistakes and I definitely think I've kept a reasonable level of self-awareness through the last few years, in short I'm happy with where I am right now, what do you think?

N0help4u · Jul 16, 2008, 04:13 AM

Have you ever asked her why it is so important that you get out of the house.
Ask her what she thinks you should be doing

Have you ever told her that all you see happening out there is
Kids getting mixed up in the wrong crowd
STD's
Drug addiction

Maybe she can help you think of some things to do to get you out

You don't sound like it is fear, laziness or depression so you are probably just fine

HistorianChick · Jul 16, 2008, 05:56 AM

Darlin', no. It is not wrong for you to enjoy your "reformed" life. It is not wrong to not be partying, getting drunk, putting yourself in situations that jeapordize your health and well-being, chancing a number of different crimes, etc. That is not wrong. That's growing up.

Don't worry. Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. Sounds like you have experienced the party lifestyle and have simply chosen that it is not for you.

Choux · Jul 16, 2008, 01:26 PM

Bee,

You have to make a life for yourself in the real world or *risk* the chance that you will, hm, how to say this, become a "crazy lady", as we say in ChicagoLand. Running away from the real world makes for trouble down the road of life.

I guess you are taken care of, and you don't work... Is someone infantilizing you?

Let me just say, no matter how far behind you are in your emotional and social development, it really can't be that much... today, young people are known for being teenagerish long into their 20's. You can make a good effort toward growing up with help from a professional.

There is real happiness and enjoyment for you out there in real life. :)

blackblue · Jul 16, 2008, 09:05 PM

Tell your mom to stop being a hypochondriac.

I stay home all the time.I like going out with friends but I'm a homebody and there's nothing wrong with it.

kolkay · Aug 19, 2008, 07:10 PM

I don't think it is wrong for you to want to stay in the house. I was in the same boat as you. I was out all the time with friends doing usual things like going to the mall or hanging out at a friend's house, but by the time my senior year in high school came around, I just didn't want to go out anymore. I made up excuses to my friends to stay home, and although I was involved in sports so still has social activities, I didn't go out with friends often. I am still that way. Of course after high school came college and very busy schedule, so at the end of the day I just want to veg out and relax, not stay out all night. You make the choices in your life and that is the way it is supposed to be. Home is comforting!

mv2008 · Sep 15, 2008, 01:02 PM

I like to stay home a lot. There is nothing wrong with that, as long as YOU are happy. Now you should get out every once in awhile and hang with friends maybe go see a movie. I understand because I am a very laid back and private person. I use to go out and party but it just got to be boring. I actually like my boring at home life. Do what makes you happy and if you find something outside of the house that makes you happy go for it.

silverfox1988 · Sep 18, 2008, 05:59 PM

Originally Posted by beebeecee

I had some wild and stupid times between the ages of 13 and 16, finally I'd had enough I was tired and hungry and hurting so I stopped answering the phone, answering the door, or going out and talking to all my old "friends" at all. I see it as a really positive move, before my wild and stupid days I enjoyed nothing more than school work and reading books by the carload and taking care of my pets and over the last few years I've come to love those things once again.

I ask this because my mother is forever "diagnosing" me with various mental illnesses - like agorophobia(sp?) and depression and such and I'm sure that there's nothing wrong with me but it gets a bit annoying, I'm fine going out I'm just so very content and happy doing what I'm doing right now and knowing that I'm not going to be arrested or get a STD or any of the other bad things that happen to nieve young girls.

It actually took a really long time to come to terms with how monumentally stupid I was being and I still beat myself up about it sometimes but for the most part I've made peace and learned from my mistakes and I definitly think I've kept a reasonable level of self-awareness through the last few years, in short I'm happy with where I am right now, what do you think?

To be honest, you don't sound like you've got any problems to me. If you wanted, I'd imagine you'd have no problems going out and doing things- you just seem happier, at the moment, relaxing at home.

linnealand · Sep 19, 2008, 02:29 PM

Well, although a number of posters have suggested that your behavior is perfectly normal, I'm not as convinced. It's not really normal to stop answering the phone, answering the door, going out, or talking to anyone your age for an extended period. How long has this been going on? I can promise you that the longer you avoid the outside world, the harder it feels to get back into it. You should probably be forcing yourself to get out. It will make you feel better, no matter how convinced you might be that it's a waste of your time. It sounds like you scared yourself with your behaviors and your former choice of friends. Remember that you don't have to hang out with those kinds of people. The world is full of every type. Try to find a group of people with similar interests. If this keeps going on, I would consider the possibility that your choices are anxiety related.

Jonny_br · Sep 26, 2008, 05:34 PM

I think its perfectly normal to like being at home, but I don't think you should just keep away from the friends you really like...

I don't know how's to have "wild times" so I can't say you should or should not keep away from it, but I'm pretty sure that you don't want to be isolated from the rest of the world...

linnealand · Sep 27, 2008, 04:57 AM

Beebee, thank you so much for writing back. I have found myself in the same position before, and all it really requires is a kick in the pants. Part of it can be anxiety related, and some of it can be related to perfectionism. I'm really happy you have (literally) seen the light, and I wish you the best!

Hazel1220 · Sep 28, 2008, 12:44 AM

I had some crazy times at a young age too and I wish I had come to my senses at 19 as you seem to. I am 25 and just had my first id and now seeing how stupid I was. You sound content and at peace and that is what most strive for in life. Good for you