[cess]

Ok I need advise on 2 different relationship propublems.

1> My x is asking me to sign a paper for him . I told him I would have to speak to my lawyer before signing any papers for him . He got mad and left me a text message saying He was crushing the car (the paper he wanted me to sign was stating I was giving him the car back because it is in my name )and slitting his wrist . How am I to respond to this . Text him have fun ? Or should I just go get the car and have it towed to my storage unit ? If I had it towed I would have to not drive the car I am now for legal reason that my x would call the cops and report so I would be without a car. I don`t know what to do I just want my stuff back and I will sign the car over to him without a proublem but I don`t want to sign something with out legal advise am I wrong for this?



2> I met a guy at work we exchanged numbers now he is calling me none stop . He even called me baby . I am not dating this guy never went out with him . He is a nice guy always offering to cook me dinner and so forth but I don`t think I am ready for anouther relationship and I don`t know about a guy that is so aggressive towards getting ahold of me.



I have no clue what to do about either proublem . So lets hear you alls advise.

Cess

[jc105]

Sounds like the ex is way over dramatic. People that are going to kill themselves, rarely tell people if they actually want to die. That doesn't mean don't take him seriously, but don't let it change your judgement.

If the car is rightfully his, and he has stuff of yours, be adults and deal with it. If you just broke up, don't tell him you need to talk to your lawyer, tell him to give you guys some time apart. Just enough so the emotion fades enough so you can deal with splitting up the stuff. Me and my ex broke up real nice like so I don't really know too much about that stuff though.

The guy from work is desperate. Don't get into serial relationships. Have a fling, not with the guy from work though. He seems a bit clingy.

Oh and good luck and I am sorry that you are having so much trouble these days.

[Fr_Chuck]

First why is the car in your name, did you pay for it, did he pay for it but give it to you. Did he put it under your name to hide ownership?

Need to know why it is in your name. If it is just your car, and you were not married to him, and you did not borrow the money from him to pay for it, then it is your car, he has no claim to it what so ever.

You can't drive the car for "legal reason" I will assume you don't have a drivers licence or insurance on the car perhaps. But you can't drive the car anyway if you don't have it, and for what ever reason I will assume you can't drive any car.

At this point, if there is no insurance on the car ( your responsibility as owner) and he has a wreck, they can come after you as the owner of the car.

And what sort of paper did he want you to sign, The only legal way to turn a car over to someone is to sign the title over ( back of the title) notorised and a bill of sale. ( short of that papers may give him rights in court, but it does not change ownership. So the only paper that can change ownership would be the title you have.

Also if there is a lien (loan) against the car, the car can not have the owner changed without paying off the lien, or having the new person take over the lien.

As far as hurt hisself, don't let him bluff you into doing anything, that is called blackmail.

Also don't send back any smart *** text message, he could print it out and use it against you.

As for your stuff, what is it, you can take him to small claims court to make him pay for or give your stuff back.

If the car should be his, fine, sign the title over to him, but if there is a lien and that loan is in your name, you can't sign it over till he takes over the loan. Or gets a new loan and pays off your loan.

If you let him have the car and you owe money, he won't pay the loan, and you will have to pay and won't have the car either.

As for the other guy, tell him that you want to be "friends" that word should kill his advances. Or tell him honestly you are not ready yet and his stalking is killing any chance he may ever have latter.

[cess]

Sounds like the ex is way over dramatic. People that are going to kill themselves, rarely tell people if they actually want to die. That doesn't mean don't take him seriously, but don't let it change your judgement.

If the car is rightfully his, and he has stuff of yours, be adults and deal with it. If you just broke up, don't tell him you need to talk to your lawyer, tell him to give you guys some time apart. Just enough so the emotion fades enough so you can deal with splitting up the stuff. Me and my ex broke up real nice like so I don't really know too much about that stuff though.

The guy from work is desperate. Don't get into serial relationships. Have a fling, not with the guy from work though. He seems a bit clingy.

Oh and good luck and I am sorry that you are having so much trouble these days.

Ok me and my x have been apart for over 2 months . You got to understand my stuff was worth more then the junk car. He said all my stuff got stolen but a few things like my car seats and something from my late husband. I just want him away from me to be honest. I want all my stuff and I would gladly had him a signed titel but he is refusing to do that . He will only give me back my car seats and 170 for my windshield . I am not signing anything for that . If you knew what all is missing you would understand.

with the co-worker I was thinking the same thing but I don`t want to be mean and be like you seem to clingy to me lol

[cess]

First why is the car in your name, did you pay for it, did he pay for it but give it to you. Did he put it under your name to hide ownership ??

Need to know why it is in your name. If it is just your car, and you were not married to him, and you did not borrow the money from him to pay for it, then it is your car, he has no claim to it what so ever.

You can't drive the car for "legal reason" I will assume you don't have a drivers licence or insurance on the car perhaps. But you can't drive the car anyway if you don't have it, and for what ever reason I will assume you can't drive any car.

At this point, if there is no insurance on the car ( your responsiblity as owner) and he has a wreck, they can come after you as the owner of the car.

And what sort of paper did he want you to sign, The only legal way to turn a car over to someone is to sign the title over ( back of the title) notorised and a bill of sale. ( short of that papers may give him rights in court, but it does not change ownership. So the only paper that can change ownership would be the title you have.

Also if there is a lien (loan) against the car, the car can not have the owner changed without paying off the lien, or having the new person take over the lien.

As far as hurt hisself, don't let him bluff you into doing anything, that is called blackmail.

Also don't send back any smart *** text message, he could print it out and use it against you.

As for your stuff, what is it, you can take him to small claims court to make him pay for or give your stuff back.

If the car should be his, fine, sign the title over to him, but if there is a lien and that loan is in your name, you can't sign it over till he takes over the loan. or gets a new loan and pays off your loan.

If you let him have the car and you owe money, he won't pay the loan, and you wil have to pay and won't have the car either.

As for the other guy, tell him that you want to be "friends" that word should kill his advances. Or tell him honestly you are not ready yet and his stalking is killing any chance he may ever have latter.

1)First why is the car in your name Because I have a license and insurance and he had niether while we were dating .

2)You can't drive the car for "legal reason" I will assume you don't have a drivers licence or insurance on the car perhaps don`t assume because that is incorrect. I rarther not expand on this subject.

3)At this point the car is known as stole and that he move the car out of county.The car is insured and I have the license plates for it.

4) I am not sure he siad I could get my car seats on Sunday but I would have to sign a paper. Assuming something along the lines when he returns the seats and the other items he has told me he has and the 170 for the winshield him and his friend broke that I will give him the title .

5) there is no lien on the car niether of us purchased this vechel it was a gift from his mother .

[s_cianci]

First of all, who is the legal owner of the car? That is to say in whose name is the title or lien? If it is your ex's then there should be no reason for you to have to sign anything ; he just takes his car and that's that. If it's in your name, however, then I wouldn't sign anything regardless of what a lawyer has to say. In any case, if you feel you ought to talk to a lawyer before signing anything then by all means do so. Let your lawyer see the document you're being asked to sign and get his/her opinion. Now about this guy who's pursuing you, just tell him what you've told us here, that he's a nice guy and everything but you don't think you're ready for another relationship. IF he's the least bit reasonable he'll get the message.

[cess]

First of all, who is the legal owner of the car? That is to say in whose name is the title or lien? If it is your ex's then there should be no reason for you to have to sign anything ; he just takes his car and that's that. If it's in your name, however, then I wouldn't sign anything regardless of what a lawyer has to say. In any case, if you feel you ought to talk to a lawyer before signing anything then by all means do so. Let your lawyer see the document you're being asked to sign and get his/her opinion. Now about this guy who's pursuing you, just tell him what you've told us here, that he's a nice guy and everything but you don't think you're ready for another relationship. IF he's the least bit reasonable he'll get the message.

The car is in my name

I am telling him Friday that I am not looking for a relationship right now . But I wouldn`t mind keeping him as a friend.

[CaptainForest]

I read all the posts and I still do not follow about this car situation.

It is in your name, why? Did he pay for it??

You say he didn't have insurance or a license at the time of purchase, so why would he want to get a car??

Way more details are needed or clarification of details as it's very confusing.


As for your second problem, Tell him u don't want to date. And then block his number if he continues to harass you.

[cess]

I read all the posts and I still do not follow about this car situation.

It is in your name, why? Did he pay for it???

You say he didn’t have insurance or a license at the time of purchase, so why would he want to get a car????

Way more details are needed or clarification of details as it’s very confusing.


As for your second problem,. tell him u don’t want to date. and then block his number if he continues to harass you.

The car is in my name . We put it in my name because my car has a salvaged title and we needed a car to drive his mom gave the car so no one owes anything for it.I have tags and insurance on the car. The tags for that car our on my car now so that is what I didn`t want to reveal .

[fredg]

HI,
First, don't sign anything.
Next, if you have tags from another car on your car, you could get into very, very serious trouble with the State Police, not to mention Court's.
About all the phone calls.
Have you called your local Police Department, and reported him?
I do wish you the best, and good luck.

[cess]

HI,
First, don't sign anything.
Next, if you have tags from another car on your car, you could get into very, very serious trouble with the State Police, not to mention Court's.
About all the phone calls.
Have you called your local Police Department, and reported him?
I do wish you the best, and good luck.

1> I know I can get in big trouble but I have to be able to get to work .
2>I am not signing anything . I have already told my x this
3> the guy from work has stopped I informed him I wasn`t interested

[Fr_Chuck]

I wonder if the guy from work will be posting here soon for advice on how to get you interested in him?

Or perhaps we could set him up with one of the other women who are having ex trouble? ( just joking)

Actually tags from another car is a fine but it is not the major crime like it souinds, it is not even a moving violation so there are no points.

They could possible impound the car if you are caught, but if you have valid insurance they may or may not. But cops don't drive around just randomly running licence numbers ( actually it is illegal for them to do that) they have to have a reason to run your plates, so ifyou don't break any traffic laws most likely nothing would happen.

We used to get a lot of non american citizens with wrong plates all the time in Atlanta ( people would sell them plates and they did not know they were not valid)

[educatedhorse_2005]

It has been my experience that if the car is in your name then it is yours unless he can prove other wise

Secondly tell him to have fun slitting his wrist I have found that with people who verbalize suicide are just wanting attention. He probably thought you would run right over and give him what he wants

If you can prove he has your stuff call the cops and they will have probable cause to go and investigate. Do you know for sure your stuff was reported stolen if they weren't turn the table on him and turn him in

The guy at work just forget about him unless it make you uncomfortable and if it does tell him to stop if he doesn't turn him in for sexual harassment
This is one of the reasons you don't flirt with coworkers

[cess]

it has been my experience that if the car is in your name then it is yours unless he can prove other wise

secondly tell him to have fun slitting his wrist i have found that with people who verbalize suicide are just wanting attention. he probably thought you would run right over and give him what he wants

if you can prove he has your stuff call the cops and they will have probable cause to go and investigate. do you know for sure your stuff was reported stolen if they weren't turn the table on him and turn him in

the guy at work just forget about him unless it make you uncomfortable and if it does tell him to stop if he doesn't turn him in for sexual harassment
this is one of the reasons you don't flirt with coworkers

1> Ok on my stuff this is what happened . This is the big break up . He threaten to kill me many times and since he didn`t get a response he threated my childern and I did not respond . He had choked me before so I learned to not respond when he was angry . So when he left I call the cops and told them he threated me and my childern . They came out told me there was nothing they could do and then .The other cop found out my x had warrents so they took him for warrents. Well then my x sister came down and cut my phone line from outside. I kept my cool and fixed it and then . They kept bugging me . So I started to move out. I got half of my stuff out and quit staying there for fear for my own safety . (my x sister thinks its funny that she shot her x up with insoline if she wouldn`t have microwaved it he would have died) The owner of the place (witch was my x`s mom.) said to take my time that my stuff would be safe . I came back to get my stuff it was all gone . I asked them where my stuff was . There reply was jimmie must have stole it all. Don`t ask me how 1 guy can steal a engine with tranny attached and turbos all by himself. I really don`t believe this . My x wanted the motor for his car . Witch that title is in my name .

2> the guy at work has quit calling I told him Friday I wasn`t intrested in him in that way . But we could be friends.

[cess]

Ok for thoughs who know. I made a big step the other day . I made it so I have no strings attached to me. I gave my x his title . I took a hugh lose . But I achaully feel free now . I think maybe time to move on . Before I was very hesitent now I feel free so . Instead of going out with all these guys in the next few weeks I am going to narrow them down . Oh by the way the one I liked is back talking to me but I think he is one of them to hit the road because I don`t like people who say one thing and do anouther.

Well I am proud I got that heavy string off my back now . It took so much strength to be able to meet him in person . It was easier then I thought to tell him not to call me anymore and that I never wanted to see him again. It was like 200lb was lifted off my back . I don`t know . I am just glad I did it after putting it off so long

[Fr_Chuck]

If you feel good with yourself that is what is important, Often we do win in the long run if we just cut loose and start over I am glad you are happey with the way things are going

[fredg]

Hi, cess,
Congratulations! You have taken the first steps to a more meaningful and happy life! Sometimes, we have to take those steps in order to move on, and be ourselves. Best wishes.