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k1j14mom · Jul 12, 2008, 05:38 PM

I suffer from major depression and borderline personality disorder. I have anxiety issues and deal with chronic pain. I have a spouse that is not sympathic at all and just don't know what I can do to get him to understand. I live in pain everyday so working all day and coming home and doing house work is hard and he just doesn't understand that. We fight about the house all the time and I just want him to understand that between my MD and BPD and chronic pain it makes it hard. He works two jobs so I really don't want him to have to do house work but I can't get him to even pick up after himself and the kids when he is at home with them because I work late sometimes. Does anyone have any suggestions

Choux · Jul 12, 2008, 05:54 PM

You have to think positively... I know that sounds simplistic, but being positive makes pain so much less and life so much better.

You could study "The Power of Positive Thinking" and incorporate some suggestions into your life a little at a time.

I think in this age of pills and different therapies, we have forgotten that we are the greatest healers of ourselves.

Best wishes,

k1j14mom · Jul 12, 2008, 07:20 PM

Thank you I will do Thanks for your input

simoneaugie · Jul 12, 2008, 10:00 PM

Can you hire someone to come in and do the heavy cleaning? I did this and it only took once, after that the housework seemed to be in better perspective. A few years later, I did it again and once was all it took again.

thisnthatshoppe · Jul 12, 2008, 10:17 PM

My husband has Schizophrenia. I have bi-polar, Borderline personality, and OCD. So , you can imagine the road we have been down. First, get your spouse some literarure. Help him to understand what you deal with mentally. Explain your chronic pain and how you think it would help if he helped you more. Also tell him that would serve to makeyou closer. It is true. My hubby and I have been through this. He helps a lot more now. I leave a few chores for when he gets home from work. I make a list. And he does them. Never fight or raise you voice. It never solves things. Talk calmly. Be upbeat about things, and try to look for positive ways to talk about things. Also consider that if the time spent fighting were spent on the chores you want help with, things would be better. It might help to seek counseling together or to find a support group. Also, if you are not medicated, get on meds. It will help tremendously.