[Sonador101]

Once there was boy,
A happy little boy,
He loved he his mother,
He loved his father,
They were his pride joy.

They played in the sun,
They played day and night,
He knew when he was with them,
He would be all right.

It did not last,
When the fire,
Took his mothers,
Took his fathers,
Life away.

The boy cried,
Watching,
As his parents died.

He now alone,
Without even a home.
He was alone.

As he grew,
Looked for away,
To go back to that time of play.

He serched the world,
Twice over, and then again.
Peopletold him,
They were in heaven,
And he could bring bring themback.

He became weak,
And cried,
Remembering,
As his parents died.

"why can't you return to me?
why soul wondring free?
why can't you come back with ME!?"

His anger grew,
And through and through,
He lost his peace of mind,
Until,
His soul,
The angels could not find.

He will forver,
Dwell madness,
But under it all,
Its simply,
Sadness.

[Sonador101]

What you guys think of it

[tsila1777]

It could use some work. Very sad poem. I like the last verse. It's kind of deep and makes one think.

[Clough]

I do apologize that I haven't been around for you as much as I would have liked to Sonador101!

The balance and form in your poem is really great! It has a roundness concerning having a beginning, middle and ending to it that could be put into the manner of song, like a ballad. It tells a story...

I am wondering why you wrote it, please? Is it a reflection about something that you are thinking about?

Yes, it could be improved. But, most artistic works could be improved in a number of ways.

It leaves a person wondering and thinking about what happened to the boy's soul... For if he is forever to dwell in madness, then where is his soul?

Thank you!

[heartbreaker]

This is beautiful. Your poems are beautiful you should sell or put out a book of your poems

[Clough]

Yes, it is beautiful! I do hope that Sonador101 will return to this thread!

[Tralyn]

You are a very talented writer. Something I think is so great about poetry is that it is so incredibly personal and in depth but at the same time it is so abstract and everyone can take something away from it, whether it's relating to themselves, their own experiences, or just something in this world! Don't quit, no matter what, keep on writing - and I'm sure you agree, isn't it a fantastic release?

I like reading your poems! :)