[20anonymous08]

Hi so yeah I am an entertainer - a musician and recently now a model too. Well I sing and rap and of course 70% of the talent here in Albuquerque is male. So anyways the CEO of my label is male and the place I record at has - you guessed it - a man running things. But my boyfriend of 5 years and the father of my 2 year old daughter is okay with the fact I have to talk to and work with other guys generally. When I first met my boyfriend I told him point blank you have to be able to handle the fact I have to talk to guys for my music and my music comes first. This is my dream and NO ONE is going to stand in my way! I know a girl here in Albuquerque that got signed to Def Jam for a 10$ million contract and she gave it up for some guy. That is not going to be me!! Well he was fine then. A few weeks ago I started modeling for a local photographer that is female (luckily) but he still calls me 30 mins into my sessions for anything! The guy at the studio looks at me wierd because I am always getting calls when I am there and I can only stay like 1 hour! That is not very professional is it?? Obviously to be productive I need to spend alot more time in the studio. I do feel bad constantly leaving him to watch the baby but this is what I want to do this is my dream! I have told him lets get a sitter to watch her and you can go out while i am doing this and he said he rather spend the time with the baby. But he calls me and complains how he goes crazy with (terrible twos in progress) the baby sometimes. I have also invited him - but he doesn't like to go because he gets bored there. I really need to talk to him! What can I tell him? I do live by "Never mix business with pleasure" and I will never cheat on him. It's not worth it - I know what I have and I love him. I recorded a song for him and everything. But now that I am working on my debut album I really want to be able to record for several hours at a time. And I do modeling sessions every Wednesday which take 2 -3 hours and he calls me after 1 hr asking when you coming home. Then every 30 minutes after that just about and he told me last night (after 1 1/2 hours "u have been gone a long time already"! He needs to understand it takes time. I hate fighting with him over this and I don't want to lose him but I need to convince him to stop calling me so much when I am gone at the studio and to understand I will be gone for several hours at a time without fighting or bribing him!! PLEASE HELP!!!

[N0help4u]

He sounds like he has some real issues with being lonely. It might not even be insecurity or jealousy he sounds co-dependent to your being there for him. You need to tell him flat out I am going to the studio and I will not be available to answer any calls. Tell him you are not and can not answer the phone at work any more because it is hindering your work way too much.
Tell them at work to ignore his calls or tell him not to call there any more.
Is there a family member or friend he could call instead when he gets the urge to call you?

[20anonymous08]

I am going to try and talk to him tonight. He had a real hard childhood... his mom was a real U know What and hated him - not only showed him but told him! So I believe that could be the trigger... but I just find it hard getting him to understand. He doesn't call me when I am at work it is just after work when I go to the studio or do shoots. He tries to make me feel guilty by telling me I don't spend enough time with him and our daughter. But truth is once or twice a week I go to the studio and do a shoot. The rest of the time I am with them... always we never actually 'go out' alone. We are always together every holiday, weekend and every night. I tell him this is like work for me... but it is something I really enjoy. When I do shows he always goes to them but it's the between time you know? What is a good way to tell him? Just because I have a fiancée and I am mom I don't see that as a reason to give up my dream and become a house wife you know. That is just not me!

[N0help4u]

Tell him that just as I tell the people at work and the studio that I separate business from pleasure I need to keep it separate by not being called at work.
Maybe spending more special times with him and continuing to reassure him in time he hopefully comes around. Maybe after he stops calling you, as soon as you get off from the studio and are going to your car you could call him and let him know you are on your way and you can't wait.
Does he work or are you the only one that brings home the money?
If you are the one who brings home the money then tell him how do you expect us to afford anything if I can't get what I need to do done without worrying about other issues while I am at work and the studio.

[20anonymous08]

Okay well thank you for the help! He does work the same hours I do.

[H0P3FUL]

Have you thought about couuple counseling because he needs to find a way not to need you so much. If he doesn't he will continue to be lonely, you will continue to be miserable, and if neither of you can compromise this will continue.