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    freeatlast1's Avatar
    freeatlast1 Posts: 33, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
    		  
    #1

    Jul 9, 2008, 11:27 AM
    Depression worse the longer NC goes on
    I was at NC for 9 days. Feeling fine in the beginning. My ex texted me on 4th of July- "Some days are harder than others", which progressively made me think about her more and if there was a chance of reconciliation. Starting Mon I've been feeling more and more depressed till I broke NC and sent her a brief email today.

    I should be feeling better, why am I feeling worse?
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #2

    Jul 9, 2008, 11:37 AM
    Because she called you on the 4th and got all your emotions flooded right back to square 1.
    jamie Cart's Avatar
    jamie Cart Posts: 15, Reputation: 2
    New Member
    		  
    #3

    Jul 9, 2008, 11:40 AM
    Because she's keeping the wound open?
    f104's Avatar
    f104 Posts: 123, Reputation: 7
    Junior Member
    		  
    #4

    Jul 9, 2008, 01:52 PM
    It has taken me over a month to start feeling good about NC. Give yourself time and try not to be so hard on yourself. Things do improve slowly. Keep connecting with people aside from you ex.
    Boristheblade's Avatar
    Boristheblade Posts: 141, Reputation: 17
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    #5

    Jul 9, 2008, 02:11 PM
    It gets worse before it gets better. I tell myself this every day.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #6

    Jul 9, 2008, 05:59 PM
    First no contact is not reading their texts, not reading their emails,
    No contact is no contact, it is hard. And it is not going to be fixed in one week
    AmExp's Avatar
    AmExp Posts: 330, Reputation: 11
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    #7

    Jul 9, 2008, 06:05 PM
    I don't understand why people say it will get better over time... I mean it does BUT I am still really depressed 6 months post break up...
    ylaira's Avatar
    ylaira Posts: 1,193, Reputation: 118
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    #8

    Jul 9, 2008, 06:08 PM
    Because she txtd u. Want to be less depressed? Change numbers and be busy. U can't move on if u keep on looking back.
    ylaira's Avatar
    ylaira Posts: 1,193, Reputation: 118
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    #9

    Jul 9, 2008, 06:12 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by AmExp
    I don't understand why people say it will get better over time...I mean it does BUT I am still really depressed 6 months post break up....
    It took me 2 yrs to get over my first break up... its true you will get over it. Just help yourself to heal faster. If what your saying is true nobody ever moved on from their first heartache. It just vary on people's coping mechanism.
    Boristheblade's Avatar
    Boristheblade Posts: 141, Reputation: 17
    Junior Member
    		  
    #10

    Jul 10, 2008, 03:35 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by AmExp
    I don't understand why people say it will get better over time...I mean it does BUT I am still really depressed 6 months post break up....
    I didn't specify it would get better in any particular space of time. Never the less, it does get better in time. I think it would be naïve to think that you will always be perpetually heart broken and sad because the feeling lessens. Even though I feel like that right now-logic tells me I won't always, this keeps me going.
    nelsta78's Avatar
    nelsta78 Posts: 28, Reputation: 5
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    #11

    Jul 10, 2008, 03:59 AM
    Yeah, these things have no specific time limit.
    I've had 3 long term relationships and each time it gets easier to get over someone.
    You will have days where you think "no one will ever make me feel like that again".

    But eventually after time.you'll find yourself thinking less and less about her.And you'll find yourself thinking more and more "I can't wait to go out with my friends at weekend"

    I know now you feel like this will never happen, But trust me it will.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #12

    Jul 10, 2008, 10:20 AM
    I should be feeling better, why am I feeling worse?
    No contact is to heal and every time you break it, or allow it to be broken you just stir up all those old feelings and pain, and they comeback as intense as ever. Its up to you to maintain your own healing, not the ex.
    Allheart's Avatar
    Allheart Posts: 1,639, Reputation: 436
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    #13

    Jul 10, 2008, 10:47 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by freeatlast1
    I was at NC for 9 days. Feeling fine in the beginning. My ex texted me on 4th of July- "Some days are harder than others", which progressively made me think about her more and if there was a chance of reconciliation. Starting Mon I've been feeling more and more depressed till I broke NC and sent her a brief email today.

    I should be feeling better, why am I feeling worse?

    Deep emotions and wounds take a great time to heal. By writing to her, you reopened your wounds. But so many of us do that all the time.

    You were expecting to feel better, for that heaviness to lift once you wrote, and you may have for a second or so after sending the email, but then your vulnerability surfaced as well as the sadness.

    Just realize that, believe it or not, this sadness that you feel, is healthy, as it's part of the road to fully healing.

    Just like when you bump your arm or leg and get a bruise, the bruise tends to get worse, before it slowly fades... and it does fade eventually doesn't it.

    Just know that you are a caring and loving person and that is why all of this is so hard.

    During this time, be especially good to yourself and only surround yourself with people who love you and have your best interest at heart.
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