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    whatintheworld's Avatar
    whatintheworld Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 8, 2008, 05:44 PM
    He needs a few days and is scared about moving forward?
    Didn't see my previous post, so I am trying again.

    LONG story short... we have been dating over a year. He talked to me about eventually moving in to his newly rented house in the coming months, but I said I would like to have some kind of commitment before I did that... he agreed (in theory).

    We have moved slowly (he has two kids/divorced to someone who constantly calls). This past week I spent an extra amount of time HELPING HIM clean his house and get his kids room somewhat set up. He all of a sudden stated that we must be experiencing some growing pains (talked about missing his time with the guys and perhaps feeling a little closterphobic with me there so much). I stated a few times this past week that he should go out, but then he said "I would like to, but then I miss you." Now he wants a few days of alone time. Admitted today (I had to call him) that he is a scared and doesn't understand his feelings (about moving on). I gave him a few outs, such as taking some time the next couple of weekends to ourselves, but he doesn't want to do that. Why does he want to keep me at his beckoned call, when HE is ready to see me? I feel as though we are moving backwards. I asked if this was the beginning of the end, he assured me it wasn't and that he wants to be with me but just wants a few days.

    After a year, shouldn't we either just be together (just spending time) or not? Shouldn't we feel comfortable to just stop by, etc. not make an appointment to see each other. If he has talked about moving in together, shouldn't we assume that we will be seeing each other (unless one of us has plans)?

    HELP!! What should I do?

    Confused and feeling lonely.
    ylaira's Avatar
    ylaira Posts: 1,193, Reputation: 118
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    #2

    Jul 8, 2008, 05:58 PM
    When a man wants you, he wants you. No alibis, no problems, no issues, no hang ups he just wants to be with u.Period.
    whatintheworld's Avatar
    whatintheworld Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jul 8, 2008, 06:08 PM
    You sound correct. Do I ask for my own time this next weekend and then bow out gracefully from there?
    ylaira's Avatar
    ylaira Posts: 1,193, Reputation: 118
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    #4

    Jul 8, 2008, 06:10 PM
    Let him the one do the asking, be busy too so u will be able to blow him off once in a while. Be productive so whatever happens, it's his lost and there's a bright future still ahead of you.
    whatintheworld's Avatar
    whatintheworld Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jul 8, 2008, 06:13 PM
    Thanks ylaira... I have been WAY too accommodating this whole time.
    ylaira's Avatar
    ylaira Posts: 1,193, Reputation: 118
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    #6

    Jul 8, 2008, 06:16 PM
    Your welcome... other folks here still have something to say..
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