[BigS]

My friend had tours in Iraq and when he returned he seemed fine. He told us some stories about his experiences and we laughed at a few. Now a year and a half later he seems depressed. He stays angry most of the time; has sleep problems; has not been doing any of the fun things he used to enjoy. He seems a bit withdrawn from his family, yet he does some fun things with his children. What is confusing to me is at times he seems so with it then other times he seems to be someone else. I told him he can't change what happened over there and what he did was called survival. He said he shouldn't feel like he does since other people have been through worse than he has and are handling themselves well. He used to enjoy barbecues and celebrations that go along with them... now he can't stand being apart of anything honoring the military. He can no longer enjoy July 4th celebrations and he hates the fireworks especially the ones that whistle before busting.

How can my friend be fine at one time now seems down. :confused: It is something else that could be causing his depression? What exactly is post traumatic stress disorder? Will he try to go around killing people? Do I need to stay away from him? I want to remain friends with him but don't know what to do? He has told me some things that happened and he seemed upset that he couldn't do more... believe me he had done a lot to help his men. He brought most of them back alive. He has not told his wife his horror stories and I told him he should not give her all the details but give her an insight as to why he is so withdrawn. I feel so helpless and don't know what to do. Will my friend be OK or is he just crazy?:confused: He is a very strong person, with the biggest heart. He is gentle and loves everyone. He is th most respectful caring person you would ever meet. He goes out of his way to make sure everyone is fine. He is selfless and.. the perfect gentleman.

How can I help my friend please before it is too late!:(

I have a few friends in the military I am beginning to think some of them are crazy. My friend Pete went to Afghanistan once and Iraq twice. Never got blown up and never shot anyone. He and his group were shot at and had rockets shot at them. They told stories and laughed at how they were shot at while traveling in helicopters or having to run to different bunkers when the rockets hit the one they were running to. Some kids he trained were killed on missions he was not involved in; a few younger ones were badly injured. He voiced how they have lost their lives and innocence and how sad it was because they will never be the same.

What I don't understand is this is the third of my friends that I think has gone bunkers... or does he just want sympathy. I don't know what to think anymore. He used to go to barbecues, enjoy parades and many holidays. Now two years later he gets depressed and refused to go to any. All these years he enjoyed July 4 fireworks. Now he gets upset for no reason, cannot tell you why he is upset... On Veterans' Day the day to honor the military he becomes with drawn and seems frozen like he is too tired to enjoy himself. He told me he sees the dead soldiers’ faces at night when he tries to sleep. He was not even with them when they were killed, so I have no idea why he can't sleep. He refused to go watch the fireworks July 4. He was startled a few times when little fire crackers went off. The kids in the area had bottle rockets etc and were lighting them. My friend said it sounded like something called in coming and he feels like running to a bunker or shooting back. I begged him to go with me to see the fireworks our city was presenting; I mean yes, the explosions but spectacular with lights and all the trimmings. My friend stayed home with the television and radio up extremely loud.

I am trying to understand this madness, I do understand how difficult it is for these military guys but they chose the job. If they are going to go bunkers why does it take two years to develop? Are they imagining stuff that is not there or are they just feeling guilty of something? I don't understand why stay in a job you are not happy in and were they brained washed and reality is now setting in? :mad:

Nothing makes sense to me. Where do I send my friend who doesn't have a problem like everyone else? I am really concerned: :confused:

I have been posting questions concerning Mental Health issues and I see many people read them but only one or two persons respond to them. I just want to thank everyone who has been kind enough to answer or give their opinion because I am sure you are helping others who might be in the same situation and don't know where to turn. I hope that I have not offended anyone with my statements or concerns. Thanks for all of you who are so willing to share your knowledge.

My friend is crazy- This is a posting I submitted July 9 and starbuck8 answered and gave me some insight on the subject. Starbuck8 help me to look at the situation differently and I realized that my friend was not pretending to be sick he does have a form of PTSD. I am thankful for everyone who post comments because I think you are not only helping me but others who have friends in the same situations or are going through the same thing themselves. "Mental concerns" was written afterward because I was trying to figure out why so many people(83) read "My friend is crazy" and only one responded. Writing "Mental Concerns" really cleared it up. No one wants to comment on topics that give very little information and is not clear. I know better now. If you want to, you too can comment on the below topic.

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"My friend is crazy"


I have a few friends in the military I am beginning to think some of them are crazy. My friend Pete went to Afghanistan once and Iraq twice. Never got blown up and never shot anyone. He and his group were shot at and had rockets shot at them. They told stories and laughed at how they were shot at while traveling in helicopters or having to run to different bunkers when the rockets hit the one they were running to. Some kids he trained were killed on missions he was not involved in; a few younger ones were badly injured. He voiced how they have lost their lives and innocence and how sad it was because they will never be the same.

What I don't understand is this is the third of my friends that I think has gone bunkers... or does he just want sympathy. I don't know what to think anymore. He used to go to barbecues, enjoy parades and many holidays. Now two years later he gets depressed and refused to go to any. All these years he enjoyed July 4 fireworks. Now he gets upset for no reason, cannot tell you why he is upset... On Veterans' Day the day to honor the military he becomes with drawn and seems frozen like he is too tired to enjoy himself. He told me he sees the dead soldiers’ faces at night when he tries to sleep. He was not even with them when they were killed, so I have no idea why he can't sleep. He refused to go watch the fireworks July 4. He was startled a few times when little fire crackers went off. The kids in the area had bottle rockets etc and were lighting them. My friend said it sounded like something called in coming and he feels like running to a bunker or shooting back. I begged him to go with me to see the fireworks our city was presenting; I mean yes, the explosions but spectacular with lights and all the trimmings. My friend stayed home with the television and radio up extremely loud.

I am trying to understand this madness, I do understand how difficult it is for these military guys but they chose the job. If they are going to go bunkers why does it take two years to develop? Are they imagining stuff that is not there or are they just feeling guilty of something? I don't understand why stay in a job you are not happy in and were they brained washed and reality is now setting in?

Nothing makes sense to me. Where do I send my friend who doesn't have a problem like everyone else? I am really concerned:

[firmbeliever]

From what you have said about your friend.
It seems that he is actually fighting within himself to keep his bad memories at bay,while trying to be good with his family.As you said he is selfless and a gentleman whatever they had to do in war,some may have been against his own inner values but following orders is the strongest part of a military and he must have done his duty against his heart's wishes.

Now maybe he feels that he should not have certain things or done more than he did,whichever it is,he needs help from a professional.

Most of us find it hard to keep our own thoughts from intruding into our daily whether they are good or bad and your friend seems to have gone through a lot especially in a war torn country there is little anyone can do to avoid the worst of it.

I think you should suggest he get some help.I have read somewhere on this Desk that there is military help with psychological problems as there must be certain things he is not allowed to discuss with common people.

Hope your friend finds his peace.

EDIT:::
NIMH · Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

[cynthecker]

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a condition that occurs do to a specific traumatic event, such as occurs during wars, rape, view of a murder or child abuse; there are very specific ways to treat this condition. The military has now set up treatment sites for this and your friend could probably get free help by contacting the local VA clinic and requesting services. If he does not want to go to the VA, then any community clinic that treats PTSD could treat him. Some medical schools like OHSU in Oregon have special PTSD programs for specific types of PTSD, like refugees coming in from a certain war torn country. Also, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is used to treat PTSD; It is a specialty among psychologists and therapists; general therapy is not necessarily going to help your friend. He needs someone who specializes in it and knows how not to trigger your friend into a trauma state. If you think your friend is becoming suicidal, you can always take him to the local walk-in crisis clinic so he can talk to someone, especially if he will not go to an Emergency Room. But as a last resort, ER's are sometimes the only option to get help. Encourage your friend to seek support through either a support group for PTSD or some type of therapeutic process. His situation is not likely to get better over time without treatment, only worse. Nightmares don't necessarily go away on their own. It is good that you care about him. Encourage him to seek help. Hope this helps.

[firmbeliever]

BigS,
This might be of help to your friends.
Army Behavioral Health: PTSD/mTBI Chain Teaching Program

[ravana2]

There was a war here in ex-yugoslavia and there are lot of people wit that problem . Suicidal rate among them are high . They commonly blame the state that it forget him and they figthted for it . It is prejudice here that all veterans are mad and that is better to leave them alone .

Some find help in religious communities or in other types of communes .

[BigS]

Thanks everyone for all the information. Good news, two of my friends has sought help and they are doing better, not totally well, just taking one day at a time. They told me something about having a break through and being able to talk to the right person about what's on their mind. They also spoke of being honest with themselves. Once again thanks; oh and one other thing I had no idea that this whole ordeal had depressed me a great deal. Although I have done nothing to help them and I had seemed selfish and insensitive; I was worried and did care but didn't quite understand the PTSD stuff until you all explained it to me. I too feel like a weight has been lifted of my shoulders. Thanks everyone :)