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nurse2007 · Jul 4, 2008, 07:50 AM

Recently, my 15 year old daughter had her twin sister tell me that she was "in a relationship" with a girl they had both been hanging out with and that she is "bisexual." I and her stepfather are having a hard time dealing with this. There have been many lies told regarding how long this girl was at my house, kissing my daughter in my house, etc. So I have now cut off communication with this individual. Last night when my husband arrived home and was fixing his plate at dinner I asked if he wanted any of the au gratin potatoes and he said "yeah but nobody else has eaten any, what did y'all do put something in them?" One of my daughters responded,"Yeah, rat poison." I immediately turned around to see which one of them said it and wound up sending both of them to their room. But not before my husband responded,"Don't worry 'M' the feeling is mutual." ('M' is representative of one of the girls) He later told me to just keep them away from him that he didn't even want to eat with them, be in the same car with them etc. What do I do... this is making me crazy... I love him but come on... they are MY children and I won't choose but their disrespectful attitudes have to go!! Thanks, all and any advice is appreciated... maybe you can see something I don't.

Sonador101 · Jul 4, 2008, 08:08 AM

You tell your husband that though you do not like your daughters behavior he has no right to be disrespectful of them that way. Say you will not stand for it anymore and that he has to stop. Be firm, be reasonable, and be strong\. That was totally out of line as far as he isconcerned.

MOWERMAN2468 · Jul 6, 2008, 07:14 AM

He needs to remember whom the adult is firstly. Then you need to explain to him that you will not have to make a choice between YOUR kids and him. Then, talk with your daughters and tell them that they need to be more helpful in helping keep the peace.

Actually, I think you should tell him to pack his stuff and leave if he couldn't get along with your daughters. You had the girls before you had him.

ycdc1111 · Jul 6, 2008, 08:06 AM

Your husband should act like the man in the family and have better control over himself in this situation. He should never be disrespectful to children by using the M word. I would think if he has no respect for them... then what all would he do to them.

The girls need to have respecf for your husband and visa versa.

Gook Luck!!

blackblue · Jul 11, 2008, 06:53 PM

Is your husband having these feelings because your daughter is bisexual? If she is, there is nothing you or him can do about it.Her sexual preference is hers alone.Yes, it would be a huge adjustment to get used to, but the decision is hers.(just think of this one thing, at least she won't get pregnant!)

Have a sit down with your girls and let them know that their behavior is disrespectful and that you are not going to tolerate it.If they have anything rude to say bite their tongues.Same for your husband.

iamsogood · Feb 12, 2009, 03:30 PM

You need to really think about this. Eventually you will be alone at home if you don't keep your husband and trying to find someone when your older is not easy believe me. I think you need to teach you children that they need to take the time to know him and they might just like him a lot. I don't really blame your husband since he never had a life alone with you he made a huge sacrifice by getting maried with someone that had a family. He as basically given away 3 to 4 years of his life by jumpping both feets right in. If only every women were has lucky as you are...

expertfhjdf · Sep 13, 2009, 06:25 AM

OK-no offense but you people saying the husband has to get along with the daughters, "or else" are sadly mistaken. How shallow and shortsighted you people are.

They just threatened his life with rat-poison--and you think he's supposed to just suck up the disrespectful treatment he gets from those kids? In the family I grew up in, those offensive little girls would have had a good sound beating--a richly deserved one as well.

Giving him an ultimatum is stupid and shortsighted--he's not the one that provoked things--the children did. In fact, the children are the ones offending him.. to the extent that he does not want to interact.

The best thing to do is start teaching the children to act with respect.. and discipline them until they learn it. If the step-father is a half decent person, he can reciprocate.

thinkers · Oct 19, 2010, 02:35 AM

Sorry no answer but i am a step father to 2 a boy 12 yrs, and a girl 9yrs.boy is not a problem but the girl different story.my dad bought me this that this that.i don't like you your not my dad.my partner the mother of the 2 and i buy all there school stuff,clothes,sport fees,toys,presents everything a child should have and most of it ends up at the fathers house then we have to buy more.when we do buy things she throws them i don't like that,i'm not wearing that,when i cook a proper meal i'm not eating that,i don't like that,that's not how we have it a dad's place.i hate you i want to live with dad.i really feel like i shouldn't have even got attatched to their mother now as it has been 5 years now and it is only getting worse what should i do.as it always seems to be me that is the problem no matter what happens i feel like i'm a visitor in my own home.i don't think this is very fair.i though i had it bad being single well that opinion hyas changed now.being single is a mans dream as far as i'm concern now.what a waste of 5 years.how stupid am i. what was i thinking.