[redrose24]

How do you delete questions..

[starlite1]

Hi RedRose,

I can totally agree with your confusion. Perhaps he is getting settled in his new environment, and will contact you once he does? I don't know why though he would ask all of those 'relationship' type of questions, leave, and not talk any further about it. Have you heard anything from him since he left. I know you said it was a couple of days ago. Like I said, he is most likely getting settled in.

[plonak]

I suggest you talk to him and ask him directly.. What could it hurt? At least from there you can have a straight answer and you won't be wondering all the time..

[redrose24]

So here's the deal:
This past year I met this guy through an athletic club at school. He was incredibly nice to me, but we just remained casual friends. (the thought never even crossed my mind that he would be interested in becoming closer friends with me.. simply because he was getting ready to graduate from grad school and I still had a few years of college left) About a month ago, when school was out, he contacted me online and we chatted for quite awhile about how our summers were going so far.. and then he randomly suggested we meet up for ice cream sometime. I agreed, and was instantly excited to get to know him a little better.. it was the weirdest thing. Well we finally met up one day and he ended up taking me putt-putting, to get ice-cream, and to the movies. (this was all his idea, and he paid for everything.. which was unexpected) He was amazing.. and I had the best day with him. He made me laugh and was a great conversationalist.. loved to run, travel, was a Christian.. he was just an all around great person. At the end of our time "hanging out" we both set how great of a time we had had. Later that night I talked to him online and he was like "Can I ask you a question?".. then proceeded to ask me what my intentions were. We both decided they were to just have fun, and then I told him how great of a guy he really was. I figured I might as well, because he was moving away soon anyways. He then asked me what I looked for in a relationship and what had happened to a previous relationship I ended a few months ago. I don't know why he would have wanted to know those things.. but I answered him anyways. He just moved away a couple of days ago...about 800 miles away...and is getting ready to start his new job. I know how excited he is about all of the "new" that's going to happen in his life. It's just.. why did he ask to hang out in the first place? Just to see what I "had to offer" and if we would hit it off? It's just that now I'm left feeling a void in my heart because of how great he was. Is this just one of those times in life where you have to suck it up and move on, or can I hope to at least remain friends? I know there are other people out there.. everyone has told me this.. but why do these things have to happen?? Maybe our paths will cross someday?
I'd love some advice on this. :)

He was busy packing and saying goodbye to his family.. so I didn't have much of a chance to hang out with him. Like I said, him wanting to hang out was really random and pretty much RIGHT before he moved. I'm hesitant about asking about it because I don't want to come off as sounding like a creeper, but it really is bugging me.. argh.

[plonak]

It won't sound creepy... it is how you deliver it..

I honestly would be confused too! But if he doesn't give you a straight answer or if you can't bring yourself to ask him.. then this case is closed and I suggest you move on.. and don't say to yourself "this could had been a great relationship if only he didn't move" because if you were really meant to be together you both would fight all odds to make it work.. and it just wasn't meant to be if it doesn't work.. it's a little bit of an ego buster, but you'll be OK in no time

[redrose24]

You're right... very right. Maybe this was just God's way of putting another person in his life to support him while he adjusts to living in a new place? His family still lives near me.. so he'll visit eventually.. and maybe I could visit him. Who knows though.. I'm still in college and am planning on focusing hardcore on getting my degree.. and I wasn't even looking for a relationship nor ready to jump into one.. it's just that I wasn't planning on someone with everything I look for in a guy to jump into my life, and then disappear, so to speak.

[ISneezeFunny]

To put a comical spin on things, sometimes, us guys aren't very rational...

For instance, with one month left before graduation, I asked my friend out... that I've known for four years! Was it a rational decision? no... was it a smart one? Ehhh...

We dated for a month, then we went separate ways... but overall, it was a good time and a good experience getting to know someone.

[starlite1]

Hi RedRose,

I know it is so frustrating, and trying to figure out a man's mind (no offense, guys ;) - as a woman, I know the guys feel the same way about our minds!), but, you know what you may want to do is, wait a few weeks, and if he hasn't contacted you, I think it would be all right for you to drop him a quick call/text/e-mail (one of those), and say 'Hi, I hope you are doing well. If you feel like it, give me a call sometime'. Just letting him know that you say hi and keeping it light, might not be a bad idea. But, (and this is the hard part) if he doesn't respond, then you know that you made the effort, feel good about that, and you will know that there is someone better out there for you.

[redrose24]

Sounds good to me! :) Thanks again for your advice. I definitely agree that guys can be extremely difficult to understand. Going into college I was all about finding "Mr. Right", but I have to keep reminding myself that times have changed. Unlike my parents who were married in their EARLY twenties, I'm not nearly ready for that type of commitment.
I'll do what you said though.. give him a few weeks to settle in and then drop him a line and see how he's doing. He actually wrote me the other day apologizing for not being in touch as much lately because he had been busy packing and moving, which I completely understand. He was like "I hope you can forgive me". Of course I will.. haha.. and I do wish him the best. Wow, life can just be tough sometimes I suppose.

[ISneezeFunny]

Ah, I always thought that going to college was to find Mr. WRONGs... so you can find mr. right later on.

After all, practice makes perfect.

[redrose24]

That could be very true.. I am now okay with the fact that I might not have a serious relationship for quite some time. I have huge goals for my life, and they don't really revolve around where I'm living right now. I do agree that practice makes perfect.. I've definitely had my share of dating 'duds'.

[starlite1]

That could be very true.. I am now okay with the fact that I might not have a serious relationship for quite some time. I have huge goals for my life, and they don't really revolve around where I'm living right now. I do agree that practice makes perfect.. I've definitely had my share of dating 'duds'.

Oh yes honey, we all have :D

Right now, concentrate on your studies, career, etc, and hey! He contacted you, even apologized for not reaching out to you sooner. That is really nice, and good for you!! Just take your time, do YOUR thing, and I think you will be in touch. BTW, did you respond to that e-mail? If not, I would say that you may want to (again, sweet but light), if you did already, great! Then just give it two weeks or so, then reach back out to him (if he doesn't reach out to you first).

[redrose24]

Yes, I did respond to that email. I told him that I completely understood that he was busy, and that he was definitely forgiven. I then asked him how his new place was and how it was going.. very short letter.. but I did show that I was interested in how he was doing.
I'm hoping once school starts up again this fall that my mind will be more focused on getting my credits and everything. As a typical girl, my mind is always wrapped around my heart.

[plonak]

Just know girl, there are LOTS of fish in the sea.. this is just one of them! Always keep your head up.. and you know when I found great guys to date? When I wasn't looking.. it's true, when your focused on your life and your goals, you give out a vibe to men that is very attractive and they are drawn to you.. guys can sense when a women is desperate to find a guy and they immeadiatly back off (im not implying that you're desperate though) it's just some words of wisom..

[redrose24]

You are exactly right! Things do happen when you're not exactly looking for them.. Plus I'm going to try and get as many credits this year as possible.. plus a job.. plus working for our college newspaper.. it's going to be quite a busy year.