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    SA-Guy's Avatar
    SA-Guy Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 27, 2008, 04:12 AM
    24 and still a virgin
    I am 24 years old and still a virgin. "Why" you might ask. I don't know! I kind of get uncomfortable when I start developing feelings for someone. Some call it "Commitment Issues". I am not the kind of guy who will be able to have one night stands (though I SO wish I was)! It seems like there would be no hassles, no commitment! Perfect!

    But yes, I am still a virgin. I wouldn't even know how to start a sexual encounter ( :confused: ) How to go ahead, what to do. Though I have seen the odd porn movie. I know what goes where (sounds so rude). I mean, I think most of the children actually knows!

    How do I go ahead with my life. I feel ashamed that I am still a virgin. Im probably the only guy in my group of friends who has not had sex. Obviously I have masturbated, but I just know its not the same. The word ashamed doesn't really describe the way I feel. I just feel like I have not really experienced life.

    Anyway, any suggestions?
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #2

    Jun 27, 2008, 05:05 AM
    You could try joining clubs, hobby groups, social circles and meet groups of people where you have things in common with others. Then you can feel comfortable as friends talking with each other and then one might click and develop into something more.

    I kind of get the feeling that you might feel uncomfortable because you might expect that jumping in the sack is *required* or expected before you are ready. When you are with a girl just try being friends N0 expectations. IF it takes months or years to get to that point then just let it happen then don't pressure yourself thinking you have to do this soon and scare yourself out of a potentially good relationship. Society puts pressure on people to make them think they are abnormal to be a virgin but you are better waiting until you find the girl you want to be with and are ready.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #3

    Jun 27, 2008, 08:22 AM
    You are just slow on maturing emotionally. Nothing wrong as there are early bloomers and late bloomers, you are just a late bloomer. When you are ready you will know it. You will meet that right person and it will be like a curtain has opened and you can now clearly see what's in front of you. There is no shame in being a virgin. And with the diseases out there today count your blessings you aren't on the other end of the spectrum.
    Choux's Avatar
    Choux Posts: 3,047, Reputation: 376
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    #4

    Jun 27, 2008, 01:12 PM
    You are getting kind of old not to have had sexual intercourse or had any serious make-out sessions, so as time passes, you *risk* becoming a hmmm how to say it, not normal. Fear has kept you from having relationships with women. What can you do to lower your fear level? You are going to have to take positive steps at this point, take action.

    I think some visits with a therapist may help you a lot and get to the bottom of your fear of woman and sexuality. Knowledge of the self is power, and leads to happiness, not doubt and fear.

    You sound like a great guy and well worth an investment in some therapy. :)

    Best wishes,
    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE's Avatar
    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE Posts: 1,051, Reputation: 112
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    #5

    Jun 27, 2008, 01:14 PM
    Good one smoothy...
    Haha
    hjpan's Avatar
    hjpan Posts: 902, Reputation: 29
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    #6

    Jun 28, 2008, 12:09 PM
    don't feel bad about it!

    many guys & girls lose their virginity & regret it =/
    Distantlove's Avatar
    Distantlove Posts: 122, Reputation: 13
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    #7

    Jun 28, 2008, 03:15 PM
    All I can say it just wait for when the time is right and when you are ready. Because if you aren't ready and your nervous or doubtful, it could go as bad as not even being able to get the thing up lol. And that would be a tad embarrassing aye!
    But seriously.. there is not problem in still being a virgin. It is much better to wait than to rush into something and regret it later on. And you are in fact right! - no hassle. There will be no problems for you in the meanwhile, and thinking that way is wise because you haven't quite matured fully in terms of emotions, and that isn't a problem because you are happy without the hassle. So let yourself grow and have fun in the meantime, before you decide you are ready for the sex, the love, and the BS that comes along with it.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #8

    Jun 28, 2008, 03:36 PM
    There is nothing wrong with being a virgin at 24, absolutely nothing, and you have no reason to be ashamed, none.

    Most women find it to be a real turn on to be a guys "first".

    Don't just have sex for the sake of having sex, wait until you find someone special. You've waited 24 years, no need to rush now. And don't be down about yourself, sex will be so much better because you waited.

    Good luck.
    SingingNun's Avatar
    SingingNun Posts: 32, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #9

    Jun 29, 2008, 10:36 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by SA-Guy
    I am 24 years old and still a virgin. "Why" you might ask. I dont know! I kinda get uncomfortable when I start developing feelings for someone. Some call it "Commitment Issues". I am not the kind of guy who will be able to have one night stands (though I SO wish I was)!! It seems like there would be no hassles, no commitment! Perfect!!

    But yes, I am still a virgin. I wouldnt even know how to start a sexual encounter ( :confused: ) How to go ahead, what to do. Though I have seen the odd porn movie. I know what goes where (sounds so rude). I mean, I think most of the children actually knows!!

    How do I go ahead with my life. I feel ashamed that I am still a virgin. Im probably the only guy in my group of friends who has not had sex. Obviously I have masturbated, but I just know its not the same. The word ashamed doesnt really describe the way I feel. I just feel like I have not really experienced life.

    Anyway, any suggestions?
    Who cares? You should be proud that you aren't sleeping around with all the women in the world and getting who knows what. Society and the media make it seem like that if you don't have wild drunk sex at least one night a week then something must be wrong with you.

    I was a psychology major in college - finished all my classes and even did some outside work with a clinic before I became so disgusted with the field that I went into Linguistics and loved it. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 21, and I was treated like I there was something inherently wrong with me. In fact it was seen as "abnormal" in my classes to still be a virgin at 18! This is what was taught.

    I will tell you something though, it is a little bit personal but maybe it will help. One night, after making love to my fiancée (who I was with for several years), he was holding me and he just whispered "I wish you had been the first. I regret all others before you." His voice broke. I wish he had been my first too.

    There is nothing wrong with being a virign. Don't let anyone pressure you. When it is time, then you will know. Until then, celebrate in having something that so few your age have - though it is not as uncommon as you might think.
    hjpan's Avatar
    hjpan Posts: 902, Reputation: 29
    Senior Member
     
    #10

    Jun 29, 2008, 10:43 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by SingingNun
    Who cares? You should be proud that you aren't sleeping around with all the women in the world and getting who knows what. Society and the media make it seem like that if you don't have wild drunk sex at least one night a week then something must be wrong with you.

    I was a psychology major in college - finished all my classes and even did some outside work with a clinic before I became so disgusted with the field that I went into Linguistics and loved it. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 21, and I was treated like I there was something inherently wrong with me. In fact it was seen as "abnormal" in my classes to still be a virgin at 18! This is what was taught.

    I will tell you something though, it is a little bit personal but maybe it will help. One night, after making love to my fiancee (who I was with for several years), he was holding me and he just whispered "I wish you had been the first. I regret all others before you." His voice broke. I wish he had been my first too.

    There is nothing wrong with being a virign. Don't let anyone pressure you. When it is time, then you will know. Until then, celebrate in having something that so few your age have - though it is not as uncommon as you might think.
    Yep =]
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #11

    Jul 27, 2008, 08:11 PM
    Deleted, it was a dup post anyway
    cowandchicken's Avatar
    cowandchicken Posts: 26, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Jul 30, 2008, 09:07 PM
    Wow that's so cool that you're a virgin. Don't worry you're not the only one.

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