[simoneaugie]

Knowing that my husband "spanked his monkey" is always a turn on for me. When my ex did that it pissed me off. (He referred to it as beating off.)

Do any of you girls get turned on when you know he is feeling sexual, even if you're not directly involved? Guys, do your wives have feelings about it?

[ang8318]

I would prefer to be directly involved, if he wants to do it himself... fine, but at least let me watch ;)

[kp2171]

I've been a "problem solver" with my partner and without. When without... she wouldn't care unless its taking away from the bedroom. When with her, meaning she's in the bed next to me, biting at my neck and ears, she was aroused. She was mentally not going to be in the moment for sex, as she had a crazy day in front of her, but she also knew I was a little pent up and willing to help me out, and glad to be a part of the moment.

My experience is that this can be completely different from person to person. One will hate the idea of self stim, one will feel like it is choosing self gratification at the expense of togetherness, and then another will find the primal drive arousing.

Issues with the ex concerning intimacy and connecting? Sometimes issues in the bedroom only are a reflection of the health of the relationship outside the bedroom.

[Choux]

Not really. Seeing or imagining a man masturbate disgusts me... very unpleasant instances from childhood effected me.

[blackpurls]

Have to admit - I am actually very turned on by my bondmate 'jacking off' or whatever you want to call it (we refer to it as 'the penquins are coming', don't ask why ;) ) Seriously, if you enjoy it, you can always ask him to do it for you while you touch yourself. I've found that it can be a powerful experience

[kimdeelee]

It turned me on when an ex of mine did it because he was very sexual and pleased me in every way imaginable but when my new man does it I feels awkward a little to me cause he's not that sexual and it made me think I'm not doing my job very well

[confusedbyitall]

I have done that in front of someone before while she also pleased herself. It felt sort of naughty, lol, but good. We had been going at it for a while that day, and it was probably the third or fourth time that I was trying to . I was having a hard time, pun intended, and she suggested it. I found the eroticism to be so strong that it wasn't long before I was seeing crosseyed, and she loved it.

My wife knows that I do it, and she's inquired before. She knows that when I do my thoughts are always, honestly, on the "naughty" things, some very, that we both have enjoyed talking about in bed that we might do together some day if we have the nerve! She tells me, too, if I ask her, if she's done it. It's not matter of fact and clinical. I'm lucky I'm not a doctor or something! So it's always strangely arousing to realize she can be satisfied, in a way, with or without me!

If it's a turnoff, ask yourself why. I guess the idea of it being that instead of being with your lover is one thing. I look at it as your love enjoying themselves in an organic way! No MSG! No trans-fats!! Do it and enjoy!