[Chery]

i know you are right, but it's too hard to stop - sometimes i think how did this go so far
i don't know...

Dutchess - I don't know how old you are, if this is your first relationship, or if you just like married men because you know they cannot make a commitment.

Either way, if he has just recently started being verbally abusive, he wants a way out - and if you have any self-respect at all left, cut it off and go on with your life. Take your dog for a walk at another time, and don't let this man stress you out any longer. He is being disrespectful for a reason, and if you cannot talk about it, then he's no longer open to you or how you feel.

No matter what your choice, I wish you a lot of luck, it's hard to part, but sometimes very important for your personal growth.

Sometimes it's better to be alone than with someone who does not give you the care, warmth, and respect you deserve.

[simpleguy]

Maybe even consider moving to another area. Don't TELL HIM WHERE. Then don't even consider talking to him unless he is fully divorced.

[tinacasler]

The problem is you don't even want it to end. If you did then you would either leave or give him and altimatum.. Until then you are going to feel like crap, and you are going to know that every night he goes home to his wife.

[s_cianci]

Because they've got no class, that's why. Also because a lot of women nowadays tolerate and sometimes even encourage it. In the interest of "equality" and "political correctness", which all started with the women's lib movement of the 60's, a lot of women fell that they have to be treated and talked to just like men. Essentially they've given up their "womanhood" and have allowed others to take it away from them as well. The men are just as much to blame in all of this because they've allowed themselves to stop treating women with chivalry.

[talaniman]

He will treat you like his whore because you let him duh. What else do you expect from a married man with a chick on the side?:cool: :eek:

[Chery]

If you are unhappy and tired of the lifestyle you lead, there are other alternatives that you need to pursue.

You need to do something positive and constructive for yourself so that you no longer are stressed out.

If it means getting rid of him, then do so as soon as possible, as he will not leave his spouse, and you'll only hurt more - maybe to a point of no repair.

No man is that great in bed that you need to put up with the other 23 1/2 hours of the day in hell.

[simpleguy]

Maybe only 30 min for some Chery.:)

[Chery]

Maybe only 30 min for some Chery.:)

You're right, some that care take more time to prove how they feel, but this guy is not one of them.

Lots of hugs and see you guys in four weeks. Until then, keep up the help and super support.

[bizygurl]

I have to agree with the above posts. Cheating is cheating and now your in a stuck because there are feelings invoved, especially on your side. Sweetie the one thing to remember is if a man is going to cheat on his wife... what's to say that he won't with you if you end up together. That alone would lead me to end the affair... you are his "other woman" he probably is embarressed talking that way to his wife and likes saying to you... your the fantasy.. your the one who he is doing something "naughty" with. That's probably why he likes talking like that to you. Or its simply the way he is during sex. But its not abnormal for a man to say these things during sex.

You are already in the process of leaving your husband. Why not make a new start and find a man who isn't already hitched... You could avoid a lot of the problems your having now. He doesn't seem to be in a rush to leave his wife.I would end it.

[dutchess]

I really appreciate the advice

Let me ask -

We go out every morning - a routine -

Walk dogs have coffee, etc.

What do you think I should say re ending it?

[DrJ]

Be blunt, honest, and confident!

Simply tell him that you can no longer continue this relationship. It is not what you want. No himming... no hawing. There is no room for discussion and be sure to let him know that. Let him know that he can continue to walk his dog here but you will be finding a new route.

It is imperative that you cut off all communication with him... no "just friends," no walking the dogs together... no nothing!

[letmetellu]

Your original question is why do men talk dirty to girls. I think in this case it is lack of respect, and he knows that he can talk how ever he wants to. And now for what he is saying I thin he is telling you to suck his cock or to **** him is because that is what he wants and he knows you will do it.
Have some self respect for yourself and find a guy that will have respect for you and will treat you like a lady. Of course you have to earn this respect from the start and one way that you do this is not jumping into bed with him on the first date. Wait till he has a chance to find out that you are more than just someone to have sex with, he might even find something about you that he really likes and this could become a perminate relationship. But good luck in your future relationships.

[dutchess]

Not that this means much at this point, but it wasn't until a year later that I slept with him.

[DrJ]

Regardless, he is still married... you have no future with this guy.

(Some may hate me for this next part but... )

Take it for what it is worth... then move on. I realize that no matter how much we tell you to ditch this guy, you may not. So if you don't... fine, have fun with it. But keep your emotions out of it. There is no future here.. no matter how much you want it.

[Depressed in MO]

1 cheater + 1 cheater= 2 losers!:cool: :eek:

Amen to that!

[jc105]

Yeah...

Talking dirty can be good at the right times, but if it offends...

Tell him to F*** himself and to... well whatever fun words you can think of.
Strong talkers usually get thrown back when confronted, it is a lot like a bully. My roommate is a bit of an *******, but shuts right up when you give him his own medicine. Long and short is that respect is earned and lost based on your responses to individuals.

[simpleguy]

Not sure if this is clear yet, are you actually emotionally invloved? Would u ever consider marrying the guy? Or are u just annoyed by his random comments and wish to have sex and not be insulted? I think the fact is u want emotion involvement. He doesn't, never did, so he is distancing u. Find someone with higher attitudes.

[dutchess]

OK if he id trying to distance himself why does he still go out in the am with me to walk the dogs, why does he come by my home to see the birds, (last year we bought cockatiels together), why does he call me from his cell (of course, he erases the number immediately) when he wants to tell me something, why does he give me advice on things re: my son, I could go on and on...

Thanks.

[Fr_Chuck]

First, real men don't talk that way to ladies.

Low class and men from the hood may talk that way but they deserve the low class women that will put up with it.

Next I will offend you, but a women who are satisfied to be the mistriss and have affairs with married men really deserve what little sexual pleasure and lack of emotional happiness really are either fooling thierself or settling for second rate relationship

You get treated by men they way you allow them to treat you. If you accept 2nd best then why complain.

[talaniman]

Gee whiz lady let me clue you in-he has to stay on your good side to keep you on his side! You are his personal piece and he wants you to stay that way! Stop giving him his booty calls and see how long he hangs around. Sorry to sound so mean but you don't seem to get it.He's lying and cheating on his wife with you the perfect chick on the side and you think you've got something special, using any excuse you can to convince yourself he cares for you. In fact he does,but as an easy lay anytime he gets horny and wants to freak out.All cheaters are nice to their other women,so please get help to break his hold on you and stop being some jerks piece of meat! :cool: :eek: :mad: