[03fridge]

Since the last time I posted things have gotten somewhat bizarre and am in need of some feedback.

Last time I posted that my ex-gf had sent back a refund check I had set her two months prior. We had had no contact during the entire time.

Well all the sudden I'm getting emails from her on a regular basis and they are sending some very mixed messages.

I received one asking me not to contact her on her birthday (which was recently), I replied saying that I wouldn't per her request. I hadn't intended to anyway.

Then the next one I receive told me that she would take my last email to her as my birthday wish to her, and that she hoped I was happy and was able to find what I was looking for... although it wasn't with her, and that she felt I wasn't willing just to be her friend.

Then I received another email in which she stated the she hoped I was happy. So I finally bit and emailed her back asking her since she obviously had something on her mind to say to me, if she would like to get together for dinner/lunch and talk about it. Again she wished me happiness and thanks for the offer, but no thanks on the dinner/lunch offer.

Then I received and email thanking me for the card and gift and for remembering her birthday... that really confused me since it wasn't me. So once again I contacted her and asked her if she would like to stop by the house since lunch/dinner was out of the question and talk about whatever it is that she feels this need to talk about. Her reply was once again... I hope you are happy and I have no desire to come to the house.

So out of curiousity I sent an email asking her what this deal was with her concern for my happiness all of the sudden and asked her why she really thought it was me who left the card and gift. (it wasn't)

Her response was that she wasn't concerned about my happiness... that she just wanted me to be happy. Then she asked how life was treating me, how my family is (she hates them), and how the house is (she moved out and has do desire to return). She said the card had been signed using my first initial, and that's why she thought it was from me and she was so happy that I remembered her birthday. I didn't have the heart to tell her it wasn't me since she seemed so happy I had remembered. I never sign a card with first initial only. That's just tacky in my opinion.

So in my final email to her I informed her that I was most definitely happy and the world was treating me fine, my parents were fine and the house was as she remembered.

So what I need some feedback on is: what the heck is going on here? After two months of no, zero, none, notta contact, now I have weekly emails. How do we go from "please leave me alone, and never contact me, my family or friends and stay away from my apt, and we will NEVER be friends again TO two months later I get a returned check, this concern for my happiness, doesn't want to meet, and no desire to come by the house, but wants to know how life is treating me and how the house is? Is this some sort of softening of feelings on her part. Slowly feeling out the waters and letting me know that she is considering some sort of return in the future (on her time schedule) but isn't quite ready yet? Oh lastly, her sister-in-laws car has driven by my house twice, and the ex-gf has driven by once at least that's what I know of. All of this is while the ex-gf is online dating. A friend of mine sent me the ex-gf's online ad. I guess he thought I wanted to know. Is this just some crazy stuff or what.:eek: So what do you guys think? Any opinions?

[fredg]

Hi,
There is no telling what's on her mind.
If you have a happy life now, meeting others, and enjoying yourself, why would you want her back?
This doesn't sound like the kind of girl I would have wanted many, many years ago. It also could be that her "online dating" hasn't produced anyone yet she wants to actually meet. So, she has more time for you now.
Personally, I wouldn't pay any attention to it. You need someone more stable and willing to be with you and respect you.

[tinacasler]

I think that it sounds like she is just playing games... doesnt want to be with you but at the same time doesn't want anyone else to be either so she has to ask questions that don't really ask questions...

[Fr_Chuck]

Many times ex's wish to keep control of you even after they split, they often know all the right buttons to push to keep you going.

Or perhaps something changed in her life and she does not really miss you, but misses the memory.

Best bet just tell her you are fine and that it is over, and let it remain over.

[Chery]

many times ex's wish to keep control of you even after they split, they often know all the right buttons to push to keep you going.

Or perhaps something changed in her life and she does not really miss you, but misses the memory.

Best bet just tell her you are fine and that it is over, and let it remain over.

I wholeheartedly agree. Don't waste any more precious time on her and her emotional roller coaster.

Keep us posted.

[bizygurl]

Sweetie she is playing mad games with you. To be bluntly honest she's fulll of s***. She doesn't care about your hapiness and your feelings for that matter or else she wouldn't be writing you asking if your happy all the time and then denying the fact that "she doesn't care about your hapiness" She's sounds like a little girl with too much time on her hands and she needs to grow up and get a life. Don't let her play with your head like that. If I were you don't even respond to her e-mails.
You have moved on it seems... and she knows it so she's probably mad about it and wants to play games. Forget her and get a real woman...

[talaniman]

sweetie she is playing mad games with you. To be bluntly honest she's fulll of s***. She doesnt care about your hapiness and your feelings for that matter or else she wouldn't be writing you asking if your happy all the time and then denying the fact that "she doesn't care about your hapiness" Shes sounds like a little girl with too much time on her hands and she needs to grow up and get a life. Don't let her play with your head like that. If I were you don't even respond to her e-mails.
You have moved on it seems...and she knows it so she's probably mad about it and wants to play games. Forget her and get a real woman...

I agree leave this one absolutely alone ,no contact no matter what.:cool:

[s_cianci]

She might be missing you and trying to "feel you out." I'd continue being aloof and see if it continues or increases. If the two of you eventually get back together keep everything on your terms. You'll already have the evidence that she cares about you and wants to stay with you so she should be willing to acquiesce to your conditions. If not then you cut her loose and go your merry way.