[Stunning07]

Well guys its been a year since my ex and I have split it was tough... but getting so much better... in the beginning I was healing micro bits at a time now... I feel great! I havet seen her for a couple months and we don't talk anymore... my decision on that do to NC...


My question here is... for people who been in this position will my feelings come back when I see her?

[Romefalls19]

I work with my ex, so it might be a little different than your situation. I went 6 months with NC which made things awkward on her part she said. I finally got to a point where I felt okay to break NC and it didn't bother me one bit. I thought I had feelings for her and wanted to tell her how I felt, then we had an in depth conversation one night on the phone and after I hung up, I realized I was over her completely and our flamed had died. She jumped right into a relationship with another guy and has even said she isn't over me, but that she wants to be friends. The shoe has come onto the other foot now, so no I don't think it will hurt you or bring back feelings to see her again.

[N0help4u]

Very likely you will have feelings if you ever see her but by now they should not be those emotional 'want you back' feelings you get in the first few months.

[talaniman]

You will have feelings, but not as intense, or urgent, if you have healed effectively. No need to test that, though.

[Romefalls19]

I agree with Tal, I tested it strictly because of the fact I knew I could start the conversation because it was awkward and was tired of the indirect ways of her talking to me through my parents.

My situation is different because we worked together so we saw each other all the time. If you don't see her now, I say keep it that way

[Stunning07]

Yea I understand but we were dating for 4 years so I still think about her for some reason everyday... but not that thuoghts that will ruin my day... like the good thoughts like as in liking someone you can't get... for some reason I just feel like she's going to start liking me once again

[talaniman]

for some reason I just feel like she's going to start liking me once again

No way you get away without explaining this one!! Come on Stunning, we are all ears.

[bigbird213]

Does that scare you or excite you??

[Stunning07]

Does that scare you or excite you????

I don't know what it will do... We don't talk anymore but I still feel for her for some crazy reason

[Stunning07]

No way you get away without explaining this one!!!! Come on Stunning, we are all ears.

I know TAL its hard I'm meeting a lot of new girls... but the problem is I'm SO Heartless to them non of them compare like she was... I feel like I'm a bad person now... just because I don't have that love in me like I use to... all I want to do now is have sex with them and leave. You I know I know its bad but how do I say it I'm cold my hearts an ice box... I'm in the best shape of my life... I moved on she doest get in my way of my work... school... friends... but I don't know in the end of the day when its all set and done I still think of her... how she's doing... is she happy.. what she's doing... wish her happiness

[bigbird213]

Maybe a distraction will do you good?

You say that you only want to have sex with them, but maybe you could try to just be friendly with them and have fun with them and see what happens down the road?

You know you can't get back together with your ex, and as long as she isn't interfering with your everyday life, why risk it?

[Stunning07]

Honestly I don't know why I guess it's a good thing but I don't do anything to pressure them it just happens... and they know my situation but still... I feel like I'm bad now... not bad but just don't know heartless that's all I can say

[talaniman]

Stop trying to apply short term solutions to long term problems for starters. When I feel bad about myself (and that's not often) I know its time for a plan of action. Its time to be more proactive in seeking my own happiness.

Volunteering does all that and more. Get out of self, and change your perspective of YOURSELF.

[Stunning07]

You your right I guess ill start to focus on other things like volunteering

[talaniman]

Or windsurfing!!

[bigbird213]

Or windsurfing!!!!

New hobbies are great - they definitely help keep you busy. Since my breakup I probably have 3 hobbies that I didn't have before, and I hardly have an hour a day to sit and relax - great for your mind.