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    iamarcin's Avatar
    iamarcin Posts: 72, Reputation: 4
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Mar 18, 2006, 08:59 AM
    Please coment on this answer to previous q
    1: why do men complety ignore women when they are hurting?

    My girlfriend seems to be hurting all the time
    It seems to be a cry for attention that I don't want to encourage
    I do take care of her when it really matters

    2: Why do men always flip a agrument around like they did nothing wronge?

    I always try to show my girlfriend how I feel by imitating her actions so she can experience my feelings because I can't communicate them any other way
    Example : like the other day we are laying in bed at night and I leave to get a drink. I come back and I notice that she is naked so she wants sex but doesn't do anything so I don't do anything either. Then about 30min later she leaves the room and I strip and lay under the covers she comes in and I don't do anything either. This was to show her how I feel about starting the process all the time.

    3: if you get in a fight with your women .why is the first things said is to get the hell out?

    Poor comunication skills I do it because I don't want to answer a question and I don't want to hear naging to do so that is eaven more iritating. Whenever I want something I work for it (get her flowers or a ring or take her to a special dinner or somethin). Whenever my girl wants something she nags me for it.

    4: when that happens when the argument is over . Why do you tell that women you love them?

    I don't do this because I'm always right



    I would really apreciate coments on this post
    Thank you
    __________________
    "the Daily Show is now EVEN DAILIER"
    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,926, Reputation: 674
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Mar 18, 2006, 09:32 AM
    HI,
    Instead of trying to answer each of your comments one by one, I will offer this observation.
    I've been married now for 29 yrs (second time). But, was divorced after 7 yrs of marriage for the first time.
    Compromise is the key. Being respectful, caring, loving, and putting her first is a good way to build a good relationship. By putting her first, she will know you care. And, she should start thinking about putting you first, too.
    If this isn't happening, then the relationship needs some work; on both parts.
    All your comments do not apply to all men.
    I tell my wife every day that I love her, and she tells me the same. If there is an argument, then we both make up, knowing that we love each other.
    Did you really mean the part about "I'm always right"?
    If you did, then I would start looking at that statement. No one is always right!
    I do wish you the best, and good luck with the relationship.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #3

    Mar 18, 2006, 09:49 AM
    People, men and women need attention, in a relationship we are to put that person first in our life, over our buds, over our work and over ourself. If you are not getting or giving enough attention to the other person, they will fell it, or even worst merely believe they are not worth the attention. And yes it is a cry for attention, and you "don't take care" that is a bad example of how men think, they believe they can or have to "fix" a problem, they really just need to be there and not try to fix it but merely let them know you are there even if you don't understand or have a clue

    2: Why do men always flip a agrument around like they did nothing wronge?



    Ok this is not 2nd grade, you don't show anyone anything by eimitating them, and if you don't talk about your feelings, If you did not say anything to her ( and of course she did not say anything to you either, you both are being stupid OK. If you did not want to have sex you talk to her about it, not merely lay there and then stip. I would say she thought you were making fun of her ( I would have thought that too) and you would be lucky to have sex in the next month acting like that.

    Couples don't normally tell each other to "get the hell out" that is normally a sign of immature relationship of people who are not committed to a relationship. If you are committed getting out is never an option in a fight.

    If she is nagging, then some issue is not resolved and needs to be taken care of, it means there is a serious problem, ignoring it by not talking about it, only makes it a lot worst


    When a couple is making up over an issue, the reinforcement to hear that one is wanted and loved is so important.
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
    Gone, But Not Forgotten
     
    #4

    Mar 18, 2006, 11:33 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by iamarcin
    1: why do men complety ignore women when they are hurting?

    my girlfriend seems to be hurting all the time
    it seems to be a cry for attention that i dont want to encourage
    i do take care of her when it realy matters

    2: Why do men always flip a agrument around like they did nothing wronge?

    i always try to show my girlfriend how i feel by imitating her actions so she can experiance my feelings because i can't comunicate them any other way
    example : like the other day we are laying in bed at night and i leave to get a drink. I come back and i notice that she is naked so she wants sex but doesnt do anything so i dont do anything either. Then about 30min later she leaves the room and i strip and lay under the covers she comes in and i dont do anything either. This was to show her how i feel about starting the process all the time.

    3: if you get in a fight with your women .why is the first things said is to get the hell out?

    poor comunication skills i do it because i dont want to answer a question and i dont want to hear naging to do so that is eaven more iritating. Whenever i want something i work for it (get her flowers or a ring or take her to a special dinner or somethin). Whenever my girl wants something she nags me for it.

    4: when that happens when the arguement is over . why do you tell that women you love them?

    i dont do this because im always right



    i would realy apreciate coments on this post
    thank you
    __________________
    "the Daily Show is now EVEN DAILIER"
    After reading the answers from fredg and Fr_Chuck, there is nothing more to say except maybe keying in on one word - immaturity!

    When a couple share a relationship, it's not 'show and tell', it's communicating and sharing feelings and growing together - good or bad. Also NOBODY is 100 Percent perfect or right.

    Another thing, if your woman got undressed, and you were not paying much attention to her the whole day - maybe she is just letting you know that she wants some closeness - by denying her that, you prove to her that you don't really care and are self-centered. You seem the type that has to lead most of the time, and if it does not go your way, then you go on 'strike' - again, immature!

    If you want this relationship to work, communicate more, if not, then be fair enough to her and part so that she can find someone that gives her the warmth and closeness she craves.



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