[packer04]

If you meet a really nice guy that seems to have it all(personality,responsible,trust,honest) have much in common-compatible in a lot of areas,and I guess that is considered chemistry to some. But the head over heels isn't there, but he is this great guy, or the attraction isn't there-physically not what you would have seen yourself with, but has that great personality-just so easy to be with. I mean he is great , but he is not the handsome type,shorter,older looking-should that matter even if your'e not attracted to him. There are not a whole lot of nice guys out there and I don't want to pass up if we were met to be, but friends tell me you need the physical attraction-the looks, but he has so many great qualities. What is the opinion out there?

[RedneckMama]

While I don't think there's one general answer to this question... I think there's usually a general formula that is followed... you meet someone and have nothing but that physical attraction to work from and then follows the actual personality/habits of the people and whether they sync up with yours...

I would think in order to have a healthy relationship you'll need a good balance of both physical attraction and personality compatibility... some days you feel more tied to the other person because of one or the other.. then there are days both come into play...

In your particular case... do you find the guy unattractive? If not, I'd be willing to bet that if you spent time with Mr.Wonderful you'd start to notice him becoming more attractive to you if he is, in fact, such a great guy on so many other levels...

But, this is purely up to you... physical looks are great as attention getters in the beginning; but they change so drastically over the years, and they are rather shaky ground to build a solid relationship solely on, you know?
Whereas, "personality,responsible,trust,honest" don't sag over time.. =)

[simoneaugie]

I agree with RedneckMama in the above post. Also, your friends don't need to be in bed with him... eventually. Their opinions are a reflection of their personality, not yours. If you mesh with this guy, other opinions, especially those about attractiveness are moot.

[Fr_Chuck]

Long term relationships should have little to do with all the physcial, what if he is disfigured in a wreck, or put in a wheel chair next month, would you leave him, yes if a relationship is based on looks. And in a long, long term, people get fat, lose hair, lose teeth,
Good long term relationships are based on great relationships.
If a person is not mature enough to understand and want that type of relationship, they normally find thierself in and out of relationships