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smoothieking1 · Jun 21, 2008, 01:59 PM

My wife's parents have lived extremely irresponsible lives and are now in their sixties with no savings and no health insurance. In fact, they often ask one of their other daughters for financial help paying their mortgage and other expenses. My wife and I are in a decent financial position being that we both work and do not have kids. However, I do not know what we will do if either in-law should have any health issues as it could be devastating for everybody financially. Also, what if they foreclose on their house? What do people do in those situations?

Fr_Chuck · Jun 21, 2008, 02:08 PM

They often lose their homes, as they do latter if they have long periods in the nursing home

At 65 they need to get on medicare if they live in the US. Before that they need to get on a tight budget that would allow them at some some MIM amount of health insurance

progunr · Jun 21, 2008, 02:12 PM

Unfortunately, if there is no family willing and/or able to step up and take care of them, they end up with no money, no where to live, and no other options.

I'd say most, become a severe burden, upon the surviving family members.

Others probably end up homeless, with no where to go, and no one to take care of them.

smoothieking1 · Jun 21, 2008, 07:30 PM

Originally Posted by progunr

Unfortunately, if there is no family willing and/or able to step up and take care of them, they end up with no money, no where to live, and no other options.

I'd say most, become a severe burden, upon the surviving family members.

Others probably end up homeless, with no where to go, and no one to take care of them.

What is my (our) obligation or responsibility in this matter? Should I been financially burdened because other people live irresponsibly? I would never expect anyone to financially support me if I were in that situation. On the other hand, I do not think I could allow a family member to be homeless. If anyone had experience or knows someone in this situation that figured something out I would be grateful to hear your thoughts. Thanks

Fr_Chuck · Jun 21, 2008, 07:39 PM

You should at this point, ask them to let you or someone like a money manager, set up a budge for them NOW, may not be a lot to do, but at least it can stop the money leaks.

twinkiedooter · Jun 24, 2008, 05:55 PM

You say they are financially irresponsible. In what ways? What do they do with their money that you consider them irresponsible?

As to no health insurance. Are they collecting social security? If they are then they are more than eligible for medicare.

Have you investigated reverse mortgages for them? Do they have a property that no one will benefit by if they don't leave it to any family member? Do they owe more than it's worth?

If push came to shove, they will have to live with family members if they lose their home due to failure to make the mortgage payment.

What is their source of income at this point? Will the loss of one spouse's income adversely effect the other in being able to keep the home they presently live in?

You are being a little too general here with your question to adequately get an indepth answer that would be of help to you in trying to help them.

In re-reading your OP it sounds like you and your wife don't want them to camp on your doorstep if you can help it and want to know how to get out of any obligation to them financially.

twinkiedooter · Jun 26, 2008, 05:10 AM

Smoothie - just because I asked a lot of questions does not make my answer emotionally driven(?), assuming or judgemental. I asked pertinent questions that you chose not to answer. I brought up very salient points trying to ascertain their financial situation and how to help them. YOU are the one who chose to ignore my questions.

smoothieking1 · Jun 26, 2008, 04:02 PM

Originally Posted by twinkiedooter

Smoothie - just because I asked a lot of questions does not make my answer emotionally driven(?), assuming or judgemental. I asked pertinent questions that you chose not to answer. I brought up very salient points trying to ascertain their financial situation and how to help them. YOU are the one who chose to ignore my questions.

1. How financially responsible - Both are 64 yrs old with no savings, retirement, or consistent ability to pay mortgage.
2. Collecting SS but not elgible for medicare for one year.
3. If push comes to shove they will not live with family members unless one chooses to accept them into their home. Keep in mind all food, transportation, and other miscellaneous costs would have to be paid for them. Not every son or daughter is willing to carry that burden.
4. Source of income - they own their own car repair shop which has not been profitable for a long time. They often borrow money from other family members to pay bills so they do not lose the shop.
5. They are not open to any financial suggestions that could help their situation.

The reason I posted the question is to hear from other people with experience how they handled the situation. We are looking for real solutions for a very difficult situation. For example, somebody sharing that they took their parents in and it wasn't that bad or maybe it was difficult but well worth it. Or, maybe they would advise a different solution.

twinkiedooter · Jun 26, 2008, 07:19 PM

First off sell the repair shop.

If they have SS coming in every month they should be able to meet their bills. Just because someone does not have health insurance does not make them irresponsible. If they had health problems and no health insurance they may not be able to get health insurance that they can afford or get it at all.

I already told you about reverse mortgages. This would be ideal in their case leaving them more money to use to pay bills with. What's wrong with that?

Usually old folks homes will accept you and use your monthly SS income to pay for the stay but being 64 is young to go to an old folks home. Just because they collect SS does not mean that they still can't work unless they have health problems which prevent them from working even part time.

Don't understand your comment in #3. Makes no sense since you said they receive a monthly SS check. Whoever takes them "in" won't be "out" much money. Don't quite understand that at all. Sorry.

Yes, I took in my mother into my home when she was in her late 60's. She had her own room and bath. She got her SS check every month and paid her own way as much as she could. She DID have a lot of health problems and medicare and supplemental Blue Cross paid for her health care. All I had to do was take her to the dr and get her rx's. She had her privacy if she wanted it having her own room. Yes, I've been there, done that. It all depends on YOU and how you perceive them. Will they be a burden or not is truly up to you. Do you get along with them? If you don't get along with them, then I do not advise taking them in as you'll basically be at each other's throats in short order.

They will be eligible for medicare at age 65. Is that so long to wait? No.

Most people don't have the money to have their cars repaired so it does not surprise me that their repair shop is not making it anymore. They need to close the shop for starters.

Have you spoken to them about their concerns? Are they gambling their money away at casinos? Just because someone has "no savings or health insurance" certainly does not make them irresponsible. They were responsible enough to raise a few kids...

Also #5. If they are not open to any financial suggestions - why are you so worried about them in the first place? They sure aren't staying up all night worrying about it or your problems either. Stop beating yourself up over them. They are in denial at this point and maybe someday they will wake up.

tickle · Jun 27, 2008, 05:21 AM

First of all I really object to 60s being called senior. I am 65 and still work, dragonboat paddle, jog, canoe, etc. etc.

I took my mom in when she turned 85 because she couldn't live on her own. I quit work to take care of her and she paid her own way through her old age security and of course, Canadians have socialized medicine so not being able to have good health care didn't come into the picture. She had been extremely good with her savings and had invested properly to my benefit and I knew she had done this for me.

These people, smoothie, raised children and provided for them until they moved out on their own and are due more consideration then you are willing to give.

They are only in their 60s, and you don't say they are in any way infirm or have pressing medical problems and as twinkiedooter says, although in my words, maybe you are jumping the gun here and worrying needlessly.

Give them the benefit of a doubt if you can't give them anything else.