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gmjm56 · Jun 16, 2008, 08:25 PM

I am really at my wits end with neighbors who have been harassing me in some form over the last 20 years. Recently, with the installation of a pool in my yard things have really gotten bad.

We have absolutely No privacy due to these people. They watch us over the fence, watch and point at any company we may have visiting us, watch us through the windows and the daughter interogates my daughters when we go out each day. Mind you, if I go out ten times in a day, she stands there ten times and asks where we are going, when we are coming back, etc.

Being on somewhat of a civil manner with the wife, I sent her an email explaining what goes on when she is not home, and how I would like it to stop. The real problem in this whole situation is the husband. He enjoys watching this kid harrass us, in fact, I think he provokes it and sometimes he joins in. He has bad-mouthed us all over the neighborhood.

On Saturday, we had a fence installed on their side of our property. The fence was broken in several places by this neighbor. When the workmen arrived, he told them they could NOT go on his property to put up the fence. My husband and him spoke because he was using the email I sent as his reason for "not allowing" these men to do their work on our fence. He finally relented and allowed the men to come on his lawn. NOW, he is going all over the neighborhood telling everyone that we had to practically "beg" him to allow the workmen to complete the fence when such is not the case. This has been the problem all along, he slanders us to everyone and I have had it! I need to know what I can legally do to get some peace! I know that this neighbors home has many illegal, uninspected things such as the roof which is not to code, the wiring which is not to code, etc. If I call the town, which I certainly could do, I'm afraid of the retaliation from him. Please advise as I need help!

N0help4u · Jun 16, 2008, 08:39 PM

One thing, my guess is the neighborhood probably realizes he is a nut case and likely takes what he says as something to ignore. Sounds like he needs to get a life.

bushg · Jun 16, 2008, 09:04 PM

Your best bet is to ignore them. I mean act like they do not exist.

We have a neighbor on our street that has tormented this neighborhood for over 30 years. He cuts down peoples trees , changes their mulch to red... he hates the black kind, steals signs, fruit, flowers, proch décor, floods their basements just to name a few. Lol he will mow their grass if he thinks its to long.

Almost everyone has had a run in with him and most people know he is nuts. Yes he has even been in jail for theft a few times... But he gets bailed out.

I'm just grateful that he lives 6 houses away from me.

*edit* sorry I couldn't be of any legal help, but I do feel your pain... the experts will be along shortly, check back in.

westnlas · Jun 16, 2008, 09:30 PM

Since you cannot really do anything about these people, it might be best if you found another house. It would have been more economically advantageous to have done so before the pool, because pools don't pay for themselves in a sale. Unfortunately, moving may be the only way to preserve your well being since this is bothering you so much. Be advised though. There always is a bad neighbor in every neighborhood. Here many people consider it to be me. I am the one who complains about bad acts by the others. However, it's quiet here. I only have to clean up after neighbor dogs on occasion and I am not required to socialize with anyone.
Good luck.

gmjm56 · Jun 17, 2008, 03:09 AM

Moving in this economy is out of the question. I have been here 25 years and I have just now gotten this house to the way I want it to be. I also won't be driven out by this person or by anyone for that matter. I did nothing and if anyone is going to leave, it will have to be him.

JudyKayTee · Jun 17, 2008, 06:00 AM

Originally Posted by gmjm56

Moving in this economy is out of the question. I have been here 25 years and I have just now gotten this house to the way I want it to be. I also won't be driven out by this person or by anyone for that matter. I did nothing and if anyone is going to leave, it will have to be him.

Depending on how much time/money/aggravation you want to put into this I would consult with an Attorney - in many States you can sue for intentional infliction of emotional stress. They are difficult cases but they are very often winning cases.

I would not have gone onto his property to install the fence - I would have put it far enough "in" so that there would NEVER be a need to walk on his property. I like my neighbors and my fence is 18" onto my property.

I can see the fence turning into a continuing problem. I also wouldn't particularly care if he ran around the neighborhood and said you "begged" him to allow workmen on his property - I can't imagine anyone cares and that does not rise to the level of harassment. Stupidity, perhaps, but that's not actionable.

excon · Jun 17, 2008, 06:10 AM

Originally Posted by gmjm56

I have just now gotten this house to the way I want it to be.

Hello g:

I don't know. If I owned the house, I'd have a 10' fence up. I'd have closed circuit TV cameras aimed at their house. I'd NEVER speak with my neighbor. As a matter of fact, I'd have been over there 20 years ago letting him know, in no uncertain terms, what I expect out of him.

He would leave ME alone.

You aren't an intimidator. You are the intimidated. Things aren't going to change.

excon

gmjm56 · Jun 17, 2008, 06:16 AM

That may have been true in the past, but not anymore.

Stupidly, I thought that ignoring him for the 20 or so years that I did would stop him for intimidation, and it did for awhile but now he's started up again.

Based on our conversation over the fence on Saturday, besides telling him what I think of him, he now KNOWS that he's not pushing us around anymore.

gmjm56 · Jun 17, 2008, 12:28 PM

I don't know that it's "handled", excon. I'm dealing with a maniac. This is a man who needs everyone to tell him daily how wonderful he is and he's acting like the Saint that "allowed" us to put up a fence. A fence, mind you, I wouldn't have had to put up if he hadn't broken it to begin with! The hole he broke in the fence was so large a small child could walk through it; apparently, he banged his car door against it and it got worse and worse!

I also need to mention that today I went to our local Town Hall where blueprints of homes are a matter of public record. This man's home has been under construction for 16 years and it has yet to be finished!

I found out today that NONE of the construction is legal according to the town records. The last record they have of addition to the home is in 1966, 20 years before these people even bought this house.

I would LOVE to report him! But I know that it if I think it's bad now---it could only get worse! What is so amazing is that this pompous is harassing us---not the other way around---and he is the one who stands to lose the most should I call the town.

ScottGem · Jun 17, 2008, 12:34 PM

Do you know anyone in the town building Dept? Or anyone who knows anyone? I wouldn't file a formal complaint against them, but maybe you could put a bee in someone's ear.

westnlas · Jun 17, 2008, 02:59 PM

OK, so you aren't going to move. You can't ignore him and you cannot do anything that might intimidate him. It really looks like you are going to have to adjust to putting up with him. Most of us cannot afford the legal problems that we incur when we act to really stop a situation such as this.

JudyKayTee · Jun 17, 2008, 03:06 PM

Originally Posted by westnlas

OK, so you aren't going to move. You can't ignore him and you cannot do anything that might intimidate him. It really looks like you are going to have to adjust to putting up with him. Most of us cannot afford the legal problems that we incur when we act to really stop a situation such as this.

You might find an Attorney who will work contingent, expenses up front or as they occur. Depends on how nutty your neighbor is -

Or else it will escalate to such an extent that an Attorney will be thrilled to have the case.

Just keep records - maybe you'll need them, maybe you won't, but a note about what went on and who witnessed will never hurt you.

simoneaugie · Jun 17, 2008, 03:15 PM

The poor neighbor is a sick man. Be thankful you do not share a house with him.

I liked excon's advice. Intimidate him back with no communication, 10' fences and cameras. He probably isn't all that hard to scare if he needs daily reinforcement.

JudyKayTee · Jun 17, 2008, 03:30 PM

Originally Posted by simoneaugie

The poor neighbor is a sick man. Be thankful you do not share a house with him.

I liked excon's advice. Intimidate him back with no communication, 10' fences and cameras. He probably isn't all that hard to scare if he needs daily reinforcement.

I like excon's advice, too, but a lot depends on local ordinances - in my area the highest fence you can install is 6 feet and anything over 4 feet requires permission from the neighbor.

I like the videocams (as long as you aren't harassing/stalking the neighbor).

I've posted this before - I sued the Neighbors From Hell. And I won. And their homeowners paid. And they moved. And I'm still here! I might mention my neighbor took to standing nude in his window, overlooking my yard.

I found once I took a stand the other neighbors also took a stand and things became very uncomfortable for my neighbor.

gmjm56 · Mar 16, 2009, 09:03 PM

Here we go again. I need some legal advice about the continuing harassment by a neighbor next door. This has been on-going over a period of almost 10 years. My major concerns are that he seems to be badmouthing myself and my family around town. Neighbors who I have bothered with for years, who don't want any part of the arguing, are staying away from me and I can only guess that it's because he is telling them some sort of story about us harassing him, which is a blatant lie.

Last week, he sat in his car with the engine on watching our daughters and one of the neighbors children play ball in the street. Each time one of the kids kicked the ball, he would move the car up and back to scare them. Had I learned of this, I would have contacted the police, but my two daughers who are afraid of this man, didn't tell me until a couple of days later. He got into a verbal shout down last week with another neighbor who lives on the other side of him because she called the town about his illegal basketball hoop that he strategically places in front of people's driveways, just to annoy. He seems to go after women who he obviously sees as someone he can bully. I usually experience problems with him when my husband is out of town. As soon as my husband returns, he leaves me alone. For the last 10 years I have basically ignored this man because, being a fairly educated person, I won't lower myself to the level he reduces people to, but I've had it.

I learned today that he is organizing a block party. He, unfortunately, does have somewhat of a "following" on this block of people who don't see half of the nonsense that he is capable of. When I complain about him to others, although they know he's a complete moron, they either A) don't want to get involved but know he is a jerk or B) can't believe that I'm having a problem with him because he's that good at "conning" them into thinking he's swell. I need some advice.

Claire58 · Mar 16, 2009, 09:18 PM

U should notify the police just so that they know at least and have his name, tell them about the day your kids were playing ball, but ask them not to question him because then he'll just harass you more. You should try somehow to get the support of your neighbors bcos you can't do this alone.

JudyKayTee · Mar 17, 2009, 08:38 AM

Originally Posted by Claire58

U should notify the police just so that they know at least and have his name, tell them about the day ur kids were playing ball, but ask them not to question him because then he'll just harass you more. U should try somehow to get the support of your neighbors bcos u can't do this alone.

PLEASE stop using text speak on the legal boards.

What is the point of calling the Police and then telling them not to investigate - other than take up their otherwise valuable time?

JudyKayTee · Mar 17, 2009, 08:42 AM

Originally Posted by gmjm56

I learned today that he is organizing a block party. He, unfortunately, does have somewhat of a "following" on this block of people who don't see half of the nonsense that he is capable of. When I complain about him to others, although they know he's a complete moron, they either A) don't want to get involved but know he is a jerk or B) can't believe that I'm having a problem with him because he's that good at "conning" them into thinking he's swell. I need some advice.

As far as the other issues, the Police should be called when they are going on. I understand your children are afraid of him. I don't understand why your children are afraid to tell you what "he's" doing for days after the incident.

What is your concern about the block party? You cannot control who is or is not friends with this person, whether he's conning them, is a jerk or for any other reason. You have no say about people attending his block party.

I don't understand why it matters to you that other people think he's "swell." He's a jerk, you don't want to be his friend so who cares who comes to his party - ?

gmjm56 · Mar 17, 2009, 10:03 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

As far as the other issues, the Police should be called when they are going on. I understand your children are afraid of him. I don't understand why your children are afraid to tell you what "he's" doing for days after the incident.

What is your concern about the block party? You cannot control who is or is not friends with this person, whether he's conning them, is a jerk or for any other reason. You have no say about people attending his block party.

I don't understand why it matters to you that other people think he's "swell." He's a jerk, you don't want to be his friend so who cares who comes to his party - ?

Since the incident with the car and the children, I have sat them down and talked to them about telling anytime something like that happens; whether it be with this person or someone totally different. I don't know why my kids didn't tell me until days later. I get a sense of them not wanting to get me upset.

You are right about the block party. I guess my problem with it is this "gang" mentality that he has; he has the ability to make it seem like I'm "the only odd man out"... if you get my drift. As a seemingly intelligent person, this should not bother me, however, I must admit that stepping out my front door and seeing the people he tends to amass pointing at me (as has been the case on many occasions) is not something I enjoy.

gmjm56 · Jun 3, 2009, 03:57 PM

I have posted onto this site in the past about problems with harassing neighbors. Two days ago, the situation on the block has escalated into violence.

I need some legal advice for my neighbor who was beat up. Here's the scenario:

Neighbor A goes to walk her dog and doesn't like the way Neighbor B is looking at her, so she yells an obscenity at her. Neighbor B and Neighbor A start yelling at each other. Neighbor A punches Neighbor B in the face causing contusions, lacerations, etc about her face, neck and arms. The police arrest her. Neighbor B gets an order of protection immediately after this happens and three days later, Neighbor A is at the harassment again. This time using verbal slurs, etc. The victim of the assault calls the cops once again. The cops warn the neighbor who did the punching that if she doesn't stop, they will arrest her by week's end.

What's the penalty for this type of a situation? How does my neighbor who was hit protect herself and her family?