[damaged]

Today is not a good day for me.. I don't know what's wrong... For some reason I feel sad... I have never in my life felt as bad as this last months...

[f104]

Thanx for the support...:)

I barely hang out with my friends...They're always busy..w.e...most of the time i do things by myself...i dont mind but sometimes it gets to me...im usually pretty happy, but i have those sucky days when i feel down and kinda lonely but thats normal...ne ways i know this will soon pass... :o

damaged do you swim or run or like exercising? Sometimes that can help even if it is only a walk.
Only to happy to offer my support. It is a two way street. I just want to try abd return the help you and others here have so freely given me. :)

Starlite1 in answer to your question I am from New Zealand originally. My father's family is from the Seattle area. When I first moved to the USA I lived there for 2 years.:D

Jpm I agree with going out over the weekend. Like you I am not looking for a rebound relationship but I do like being around people. I will be too as soon as I get this homework done and out of the way. My ex does not deserve the time or space I am letting her rent in my head.;)

[f104]

Today is not a good day for me..I don't know whats wrong...For some reason i feel sad...I have never in my life felt as bad as this last months....

You were hurt so it is okay to feel sad and upset. That is normal. At least you are here with us so you are in good company. Your ex messed up and one day he will realise it but then it will be too late for him. I write a list of the things that my ex did that made me upset of angry and when I start feeling sorrow and nostaligic ove the relationship I can pull it out and look at it. It really helps a lot. You may want to consider it. I find it to be a useful tool to carry around with me.

I call my list "Things my ex(name) did that hurt my feelings."

You are in good company here. We are all in this together.

You-damaged
Me-f104
Star
Jpm
Classic
chuff
Numb-who started this thread
Bigbird
NNG
Rebel
gg23
The list just goes on and on and on.

[damaged]

I do love to swim.. I go to the beach very often... I'm always pretty busy with work & school... and its awesome... I don't have much free time to think about him, but I have my days when I feel sad, and lonely, & some of those days I wish I still had him.. that only happens some days... but I'm seriously going through the worst moments of my life! :/

[jpm247]

damaged do you swim or run or like exercising? Sometimes that can help even if it is only a walk.
Only to happy to offer my support. It is a two way street. I just want to try abd return the help you and others here have so freely given me. :)

Starlite1 in answer to your question I am from New Zealand originally. My father's family is from the Seattle area. When I first moved to the USA I lived there for 2 years.:D

jpm I agree with going out over the weekend. Like you I am not looking for a rebound relationship but I do like being around people. I will be too as soon as I get this homework done and out of the way. My ex does not deserve the time or space I am letting her rent in my head.;)

Very true, I like the renting space bit. Her lease is terminated. No rooms left at the inn!

Damaged - I'm on day 100ish of NC now, and the only thing I can say, is that at your stage I still felt crap. I still have bad moments as opposed to days now. I guess you just get used to being on your own again, just looking after you. Its natural to feel pants when a large part of your life has gone. But you are young, and can rebuild it into something better.

Its not easy to be positive sometimes, and a bit of exercise always goes down well, even if it is like a run or a jog or a walk round the block.

I wish there was pill we could all take, to make the pain go away, but I think that we need to go through it, at least once maybe more to come out the other side, to experience the pain.

Its natural remedies only I'm afraid. Takes time, but I feel better now. Still miss my ex, but I can't live in the past, I can only take things one day at a time, and see what comes my way.

You won't always be down, I know that for sure!

[damaged]

This may sound mean but I hope he realizes.. not so we can get back.. I don't want him back! but just so he could see how it feels... but I believe in KARMA.. & she's a B***.. wat goes around comes around!.

[jpm247]

You were hurt so it is okay to feel sad and upset. That is normal. At least you are here with us so you are in good company. Your ex messed up and one day he will realise it but then it will be too late for him. I write a list of the things that my ex did that made me upset of angry and when I start feeling sorrow and nostaligic ove the relationship I can pull it out and look at it. It really helps alot. You may want to consider it. I find it to be a useful tool to carry around with me.

I call my list "Things my ex(name) did that hurt my feelings."

You are in good company here. We are all in this together.

You-damaged
Me-f104
Star
jpm
classic
chuff
numb-who started this thread
bigbird
NNG
rebel
gg23
the list just goes on and on and on.

Amen to that.

Too many to mention,

Rome
Sneeze
West

Hope you guys are doing good.

[hjpan]

I went to a frat party with a friend of mine. I ended up doing stupid stuff... I drove in my friends car with an expired permit & DUI

I have no idea why.. =/


anyways, I wanted to call my ex but I suppressed the urge =/
It was because 06/12 was the day when I lost my v-card to my ex...

[NorthernNiceGuy]

I went to a frat party with a friend of mine. I ended up doing stupid stuff... I drove in my friends car with an expired permit & DUI

I have no idea why.. =/


anyways, I wanted to call my ex but I suppressed the urge =/
It was because 06/12 was the day when I lost my v-card to my ex...

Also, you might have wanted to call her because you felt bad for being a dumb a$$ the other night. I am sure you don't need me to tell you, but bud you really don't need problems like that at this stage in the game. Use the ol head next time. And I say that as a friend.

[NorthernNiceGuy]

This may sound mean but I hope he realizes..not so we can get back..i don't want him back!, but just so he could see how it feels...but i believe in KARMA.. & she's a B***..wat goes around comes around!!...

I know what you mean damaged, I feel the same way. And what does give me some comfort is knowing that the next guy has some pretty big shoes to fill. I've been told that one day she'll contact me out of the blue, just to see what's going on because she will feel like she let a good thing go. The thought kind of makes me feel better but in reality who cares. And like you said, karmas a B*****, chances are they are going to go through something like this themselves.

[jolienoire]

This may sound mean but I hope he realizes..not so we can get back..i don't want him back!, but just so he could see how it feels...but i believe in KARMA.. & she's a B***..wat goes around comes around!!...

Karma, she always have the last say. Besides you are a beautiful young woman, I will trade places with you for a day, and you can have my life for a day. Deal or no deal? Lol

[freeatlast1]

I need some encouragement. I broke up with my ex 2 weeks ago. You can see the story by looking up my profile. Her main problem was trust issues, she was snooping in my journal, stalking my ex's myspace profile and hacking my email passwords even though I never gave her any cause for suspicions or cheated on her. Then after numerous dumpings, I joined an online dating site after the last breakup to help me move on. Since she hacked my email passwords, she saw my messages and called me accusing me of "betrayal" and proving her suspicions to be true. Anyway, that's a brief recap.

I had a date yesterday with another girl and it didn't go well. She had low energy and wasn't spontaneous, like my ex, which made me just miss my ex more, despite all the crazy things she did. I was constantly comparing her to my ex. I feel this overwhelming desire to email her and tell her that despite what she thinks I only put up an online profile because she pushed me away and she was constantly breaking up with me, rather than because I couldn't wait to be with a new woman.

I know this would be a bad idea since nothing good would come of it, but I need some encouragement to prevent me from doing it. Any analysis and insight would be appreciated!

[damaged]

Sure, its always fun experiencing new things..
We got a deal.. lol

[jolienoire]

I need some encouragement. I broke up with my ex 2 weeks ago. You can see the story by looking up my profile. Her main problem was trust issues, she was snooping in my journal, stalking my ex's myspace profile and hacking my email passwords even though I never gave her any cause for suspicions or cheated on her. Then after numerous dumpings, I joined an online dating site after the last breakup to help me move on. Since she hacked my email passwords, she saw my messages and called me accusing me of "betrayal" and proving her suspicions to be true. Anyway, that's a brief recap.

I had a date yesterday with another girl and it didn't go well. She had low energy and wasn't spontaneous, like my ex, which made me just miss my ex more, despite all the crazy things she did. I was constantly comparing her to my ex. I feel this overwhelming desire to email her and tell her that despite what she thinks I only put up an online profile because she pushed me away and she was constantly breaking up with me, rather than because I couldn't wait to be with a new woman.

I know this would be a bad idea since nothing good would come of it, but I need some encouragement to prevent me from doing it. Any analysis and insight would be appreciated!

NO NO NO NO and NO, your ex was controlling, untrusting, manipulative, she has you to the point where you think that it was healthy! It is not healthy, violating privacy, snooping, accusations. It is sick, and jealousy has no room in Love's house. Perhaps you need the low energy, obviously the ex was a little too hyper. Listen, you can think about your ex it's a perfect part of healing but in your case it is not wise to go there again. Your relationship was in fact not a real true relationship. There was no trust, and she was far too jealous it seems and possesive. Do you really want someone like your ex? DO you like to not have any privacy? Dignity? Trust? ALways worrying about if she will trust you from minute to minute. Keep thinking about how you deeply felt in that relationship with her, and consider it over. I think you need to just take this time to focus on yourself. And not date anyone at the moment.

[f104]

NNG I have been told the same thing. I have been told I did nothing wrong and I do believe I did the very best I could with her and that feels really good. I know I will see her around campus but that's okay I will deal with it when it happens.

Freeatlast glad you are here. This is a good place for people undergoing hard times with broken relationships to be. The people here are understanding, supportive and considerate. Your in the right place I firmly believe it. The NC thing really helps out a lot. It is hard at times but it is rewarding overall. I am so glad I have not contacted my ex. I really am, well at least at the moment I am. In another hour I could be crying all over again like have been on and off for the past 4 days.

jolienoire is totally correct. Your ex is being very controlling and you need better than that.

[damaged]

Don't get discouraged because the date didn't go well.. Its going to happen some times.. It's not nice to compare.. We're all different in so many ways.. I don't think you would like to be compared either... Give chances... you just got to be open minded and just have fun.. Meet people, it doesn't matter if you don't see them as a possible mate, they can become a good friend..
& about the email: forget about it... You don't need to explain anything to her... & you're right, nothing will come out of it.. so why put yourself through that?. Leave things how they are, and what she thinks its her business... focus on YOU!

[jolienoire]

Please people enjoy your lives while you are young, I was married at 18, divorced, children,All before I even turned 30. It's rough, and why you don't have any "attatchments" release yourself, and be thankful that you can just walk away with memories. It is essential that you put yourself first because the only person who will love you as much as you need is yourself.

[talaniman]

freeatlast1
Your wasting your time with this nut job, as she is obsessive, and will turn anything you say against you. Also realize the trauma you have been through, and know it will be a while before you can really be ready for the company of real healthy humans, so take the healing process very seriously, and follow the suggestions in the stickies. There are links in my signature.

[freeatlast1]

NO NO NO NO and NO, your ex was controlling, untrusting, manipulative, she has you to the point where you think that it was healthy! It is not healthy, violating privacy, snooping, accusations. It is sick, and jealousy has no room in Love's house. Perhaps you need the low energy, obviously the ex was a little too hyper. Listen, you can think about your ex it's a perfect part of healing but in your case it is not wise to go there again. Your relationship was infact not a real true relationship. There was no trust, and she was far too jealous it seems and possesive. Do you really want someone like your ex? DO you like to not have any privacy? Dignity? trust? ALways worrying about if she will trust you from minute to minute. Keep thinking about how you deeply felt in that relationship with her, and consider it over. I think you need to just take this time to focus on yourself. And not date anyone at the moment.

Jollienoire,

Thanks for your response. This is the kind of feedback I need. To clarify, I don't think it was healthy, I know it was very, very sick, so believe me, I don't think that. I'm just in pain now and going through withdrawal, which is why I need the encouragement.

Thanks!

[damaged]

Lol... She prob knows where we all live and she's going to come and beat us up.. lol... J/K :D