[ISneezeFunny]

Yeah. The more you stress about making her feel bad, you lose focus of the whole thing... then suddenly, if she starts to "not feel bad"... then you'll actually feel worse.

Best thing to do... let it go. Go on your own path. Someday, you may run into her... and if you do, it'll be a different feeling. And it'll be your own personal victory.

[losingit77]

Ex has been calling. Great, right! NO! More of a nuisance then anything.

Broke up almost 4 months ago after 4 years together. Haven't spoken in about 2 months. Now, this week he's called twice and not left a message.

I got to be honest. When I saw his number pop up on my caller id, my heart did skip a beat for a second but I had enough wits about me to NOT answer. Things have been going too good for me lately and I've been too happy to jeopordize that for some silly awkward conversation.

So, to those hoping to see/talk to your ex: One day you'll get to the point where you really would rather not... and then eventually to the place, where you really don't care.

I can admit I feel a little bit bad about ignoring him cause the breakup was amicable (as amicable as getting dumped can be, I suppose). But for the most part, I'm pretty indifferent about the whole thing. Never thought I'd make it to this point but I have. And it really feels pretty f'in good. : )

[ISneezeFunny]

There you go losingit. No point in talking to him if there's no benefit to you, right?

My ex did the "call once a day for 2 weeks" thing about... 4 - 5 months after our breakup. Granted, our breakup was amicable... until I found out she got a new boyfriend about 3 days after she ended our 3.5 years.

If you ever get a call, and you're unsure, just don't pick it up. There's no reason to. If you later decide that it's not a bad idea to talk to them, then you can always return the call. Until then, rationalize it with the thought, "How will this help me...?"

[hjpan]

yeah. The more you stress about making her feel bad, you lose focus of the whole thing...then suddenly, if she starts to "not feel bad"...then you'll actually feel worse.

best thing to do...let it go. go on your own path. someday, you may run into her...and if you do, it'll be a different feeling. and it'll be your own personal victory.

I guess you're right... I should focus on my success and when I see my ex in the future, I shall rub it in her face... telling her that if she did not give up on me... she'd be standing right next to me

[ISneezeFunny]

::hits head::

Hj... that's not the idea behind it. The idea behind it is to get better, so that YOU'RE better. It's not for anyone else to see, but simply yourself. Hope that makes sense. If you do it for someone else, I can almost guarantee you that you will lose focus soon enough. It's like the guys I see at the gym. You can pick out the guys that are there because they want to get fit simply for themselves, and the guys that are there so they look good for the beach.

The guys that are doing it simply for the beach... lose focus quickly and mostly just "mess around"... while the guys that are there just to get into better shape, work hard, get into better shape, and mostly end up looking better than the pretty boys that just show up.

Hope that made sense. Don't let HER be the focus. Remember, the idea behind it is for you to forget about her, live as if she no longer exists. She is a stranger to you. Let the focus be on YOU.

[hjpan]

::hits head::

hj...that's not the idea behind it. the idea behind it is to get better, so that YOU'RE better. It's not for anyone else to see, but simply yourself. Hope that makes sense. If you do it for someone else, I can almost guarantee you that you will lose focus soon enough. It's like the guys I see at the gym. You can pick out the guys that are there because they want to get fit simply for themselves, and the guys that are there so they look good for the beach.

The guys that are doing it simply for the beach...lose focus quickly and mostly just "mess around"...while the guys that are there just to get into better shape, work hard, get into better shape, and mostly end up looking better than the pretty boys that just show up.

Hope that made sense. Don't let HER be the focus. Remember, the idea behind it is for you to forget about her, live as if she no longer exists. She is a stranger to you. Let the focus be on YOU.

Thank you =]

I guess I should focus on MY life and make my ex feel like trash in the future...

[ISneezeFunny]

Trust me, right now, revenge IS sweet... but in the end, it just takes a toll on you and in the end, you just end up feeling worse. Focus on yourself, and you'll fee MUCH better in the end.

Best wishes bud.

[bigbird213]

I have to agree with Sneezy - getting revenge is a sign that you aren't at a point yet where you are ready to move on and get over this. In time the feelings of resentment and anger will settle down. Work on keeping busy and you will help get these feelings out of your system - it's the best cure.

[f104]

I hope the feelings of revenge settle down. Lately I have been feeling like getting revenge. I want to put sugar in the gas tank of her jeep. I know it's not right but I want to. I won't but I want to. In reality I am dreading running into her when fall quarter begins. Have even considered transferring to a different university for a quarter.

[jiltedgirl]

hjpan, remember: "revenge is a dish best served cold." Listen to Sneezy. The man knows what he's talking about.

So I am feeling pretty good. :) I actually made plans to meet up with my ex next weekend. I actually feel badly because he seemed happy to hear from me, only now I don't think I can meet up. All of a sudden, I have 3 friends who I promised to meet up with and are incidentally going to be in the area. Problem is I'm barely going to be there for 2 days. I'm not sure the ex and I will have time to meet up. Moreover, he doesn't know my friends and everyone is sort of from different circles. It'd be awkward to invite him out. I'm not sure why everyone chose to come out around the same time. Argh! I may have to tell him that we need have to postpone. I hope he doesn't take it personally. :T!

[ISneezeFunny]

I hope he doesn't take it personally. :T!

F his feelings. Pretty sure he didn't take your feelings into too much consideration before

[hjpan]

Thanks everyone =]

I really want a sweet revenge when I see her in San Francisco but I need to make sure I have my path to success in front of me. Recently, I have been working out, paying more attention in class at community college, doing homework, reading dating books (corny, eh?)...

Around mid-August, I'll be going to technical school and finish May 2009... I have considered enlisting in the Army right afterwards :O...

Life is complicated D;... but everyone says I live in a very simple life =/

[jiltedgirl]

F his feelings. pretty sure he didn't take your feelings into too much consideration before

This is true... lol. I surprisingly don't feel any anger toward the guy though. I actually feel a little bad for him and I'm not sure why.

Oh well~ if we meet up, we meet up. If we don't, we don't. That's how I'm going to look at it. :)

-J

[gg23]

OK.. so is it weird to feel no feeling whatsoever when talking to an ex?. doest it mean you are totally over them?.

[hjpan]

ok..so is it weird to feel no feeling whatsoever when talking to an ex?...doest it mean you are totally over them?...

That's when you lost everything about them

[Boristheblade]

I don't know how to cope I actually don't. Just when I start dealing with my miscarriage and the fact that he hasn't said a word and he doesn't care, his ex that he's with all the time is pregnant and he's there for her. It's like--- can anything worse actually go wrong for me?! I can't describe how I feel, I'm on the verge of throwing up and I'm... sad isn't the word. Angry, upset, depressed, betrayed, alone... I'm at rock bottom. I don't know what to do I actually can't deal with this.

[hjpan]

I dunno how to cope I actually don't. Just when I start dealing with my miscarriage and the fact that he hasn't said a word and he doesn't care, his ex that he's with all the time is pregnant and he's there for her. It's like--- can anything worse actually go wrong for me?!?!?!? I can't describe how I feel, I'm on the verge of throwing up and I'm...sad isn't the word. Angry, upset, depressed, betrayed, alone... I'm at rock bottom. I dunno what to do I actually can't deal with this.

Don't worry. Karma will get back at everyone sooner or later

[f104]

Hi you Boris. All I can say is that I feel sorry for you. I hope things will get better. Are you able to spend time with friends and family. I find it is important to spend as much time around those who care about us as possible during a break up.

[bigbird213]

I dunno how to cope I actually don't. Just when I start dealing with my miscarriage and the fact that he hasn't said a word and he doesn't care, his ex that he's with all the time is pregnant and he's there for her. It's like--- can anything worse actually go wrong for me?!?!?!? I can't describe how I feel, I'm on the verge of throwing up and I'm...sad isn't the word. Angry, upset, depressed, betrayed, alone... I'm at rock bottom. I dunno what to do I actually can't deal with this.

Its normal to have these feelings... Its not uncommon to be upset about something, finally start to feel better, then find yourself upset about something else. You might skip from issue to issue for a while, but as time goes on, you learn to better deal with all issues, not just the one your currently upset about. It takes time, and it sucks, but it does get better...

And don't feel alone, whenever you need advice, you can trust someone will be here to give it to you.

[pwtnu4]

Know what sucks? When you have a dream about your ex, a good dream... and then u wake up and it seemed so real that its disappointing, just happened to me and a flood of memories just came back to me, argghhh... this isn't easy