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jpm247 · Jun 15, 2008, 04:39 AM

Afternoon all,

My housemate saw my ex out last night, and my ex came over and said hello. My ex then asked how I was, etc, and then said I really love him, I really love him , but he (I) I won't to talk to me... etc etc. she then went on to say that if I ever want a hug or to say hi I can.

Its maddening really. She is clearly not that bright when it comes to matters like this. I was really hurt when I got dumped so why would I contact her? Its amazing she doesn't understand it.

Hearing that my housemate saw her, was OK, didn't bring up too much emotion, just more of a feeling that my exisn't that bright when it comes to things like this.

There's no danger of me contacting her, never will be. Been there done that and got that t shirt.

Back to keeping busy and moving on as we were doing.

Hope everyone is doing well, I'm off to clean the car - lol.

JPM

Boristheblade · Jun 15, 2008, 07:18 AM

Lol I made the mistake of talking to him and starting the whole cycle over again, I'd got to a week too :( Well here I go again, and I plan to stick to it this time. Day 1...

starlite1 · Jun 15, 2008, 07:20 AM

Hi JPM,

Good for you! You handled that beautifully!!

This weekend is a little hard for me. I am really missing him big time. I've decided to go to Georgia to visit him in July for that concert. I really want to have a talk with him when I am there, I just don't want to push him away, or come off too needy. My God, this hurts so much.

starlite1 · Jun 15, 2008, 07:23 AM

Originally Posted by Boristheblade

Lol I made the mistake of talking to him and starting the whole cycle over again, I'd got to a week too :( Well here I go again, and I plan to stick to it this time. Day 1...

Hi Boris,

That is okay. We all go through that. Are you all right though? I know it is so hard having the NC and then if you talk with them, it is upsetting. When you did speak with him, was it a nice conversation though?

Boristheblade · Jun 15, 2008, 07:30 AM

No, conversations with my ex are never pleasant LOL. He had a cd of mine I really wanted and I text him politely asking when I could have it back he ignored me. So I told him I was coming to get it. He text me back saying that no I wasn't, because he wasn't in all day ( he was with the ex girlfriend he cheated on me with) and he'd drop it off on Tuesday or Wednesday through my letterbox(Why didn't he say that in the first place?) So I rang him and he answered and told me to leave him alone, stop ringing him, and he was changing his number. (That is the first time I'd rang him since the NC) and we could be friends in a while and he was doing it for my own good so I could get over him.

In his warped mind not telling me when I can have my cd back is for my own good because it involves contacting me.

starlite1 · Jun 15, 2008, 07:44 AM

Originally Posted by Boristheblade

No, conversations with my ex are never pleasant LOL. He had a cd of mine i really wanted and i txt him politely asking when i could have it back he ignored me. So i told him i was coming to get it. He txt me back saying that no i wasn't, because he wasnt in all day ( he was with the the ex gf he cheated on me with) and he'd drop it off on tuesday or wednesday through my letterbox(Why didn't he say that in the first place?) So i rang him and he answered and told me to leave him alone, stop ringing him, and he was changing his number. (That is the first time i'd rang him since the NC) and we could be friends in a while and he was doing it for my own good so i could get over him.

In his warped mind not telling me when I can have my cd back is for my own good because it involves contacting me.

You know what? You might be better off getting another cd, and just totally blow him off then. He is not being nice at all to you, and you don't need that at all. I wouldn't contact him at all, and if he contacts you; saying that he is coming over to return your cd, you can say "You know what? Don't bother. I got another one".

jpm247 · Jun 15, 2008, 07:45 AM

Thanks star,

It just makes me so angry, when I hear things like ' he won't talk to me'. What am I supposed to do? Keep contacting a girl who dumped me? Why would I do that.

We were best mates as well whilst in our relationship, but when she pulled the plug, she pulled the plug on everything. I just hate it that I some how feel bad, when I clearly shouldn't. Now I'm sat here wondering if I should contact her, to say hi or something. I won't as I want and need to move on with my life. She s not very bright thinking id still want to see and hang out with her after I got dumped.

Sometimes I don't get it. But I know I shouldn't feel bad for cutting her out of my life, as that's what she did too me.

Its day 100ish of NC now, and I'm doing OK. Still struggle some days but most of the time OK.

Keep going all, and feedback on this would be great.

dollarman · Jun 15, 2008, 08:05 AM

Tough it out jpm. I don't understand it either, but it's the way of the world. If she really wanted to talk you'd know.

f104 · Jun 15, 2008, 09:35 AM

Hard day. I am trying hard not to contact my ex. It is really hard. Keep thinking maybe I can get her back. But I know that is not really logical. It is almost a week since she dumped me. It hurts and it sucks.

zooropa1985 · Jun 15, 2008, 10:32 AM

Its funny when you are the dumpee its like your being dumped twice.

First is the actual dumping but you kind of go into a denial mode and then when you finally realise its over its like being dumped again.

Well least this is my opinion

f104 · Jun 15, 2008, 10:46 AM

Zooropa you are so correct. Being the dumpee sucks twice as much as being the dumper.

classicrocker · Jun 15, 2008, 12:06 PM

Hang in their f104, stay strong! I know you have it in you, I want to do the same but I won't!

dollarman · Jun 15, 2008, 12:18 PM

Stay tough f104! I have those days too, but the more you get through those the easier it becomes.

dollarman · Jun 15, 2008, 12:20 PM

That's true. It kind of is like getting dumped twice. Lol. Never thought of it like that.

jrsg · Jun 15, 2008, 12:22 PM

I'm dreading the day that I realize its FINALLY all over with my ex. Hopefully the day will never come, but realistically, its right around the corner.

dollarman · Jun 15, 2008, 12:25 PM

Jrsg, I actually pretend that my ex is engaged to be married. Maybe a bit extreme, but it kind of puts me in a frame of its over. If you expect nothing and get something it's a bonus. If you expect something and get nothing you're disappointed.

zooropa1985 · Jun 15, 2008, 12:27 PM

Besides to really move on you have to realise that it is over, in your own mind. Easier said that done I know but only then can you start to heal my friend.

jrsg · Jun 15, 2008, 12:31 PM

Thanks, that's a good idea dollarman. I guess the more you expect, the more you can be let down.
Reminds me of a joke;
Always borrow money from a pescimist, they never expect it back. Lol

Its hard to explain. I know that chances are it is over between me and my ex. I just want to hold on, and hope that some day she will come back. I am still holding on, 3 weeks later. And the relationship only 'officially' lasted 2 weeks. Very short relationship. But she had some kind of hold on me. How sad is that...

zooropa1985 · Jun 15, 2008, 12:34 PM

Its not the length of the relationship, it's the feelings involved

jrsg · Jun 15, 2008, 12:37 PM

Originally Posted by zooropa1985

its not the length of the relationship, its the feelings involved

That makes me feel a lot less stupid, lol. Thanks
But it is true, the feelings were strong. And it ended in a weird way; her ex attempted suicide:eek: :( . So, we decided to break up until things can be sorted out.
I think she may have moved on, but there is that little hope that she still likes me.