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Nooo... Don't break the NC please... You've made it so far.. 65 days.. don't step back.. Keep moving forward... if you want to talk to her come here & write!.
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Its like running a marathon... You can run till' you get tired, then you hit this metaphorical wall. Its hard to run, and you want to stop, BUT DON'T STOP! In running, this point where you feel you need to stop is where you burn the most calories, and build the most muscle. Once you get past this 'wall' it is a lot easier after.
The same applies to NC. It gets hard a little into it, but it WILL get easier... This is where you do the most growing. Just stay strong! Don't throw away the last 65 days! And again, we're here for you. |
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Nick,
You can handle it. No doubt in 65 days you've been through this before. Give yourself a deadline/goal. Try 90 days. After than, re-evaluate your situation and see if you still feel the need to talk to her then... |
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So here's the latest. It got a bit confusing today.
I got a call while was on my university campus at 10:30. I didn't know who it was plus I was in class. After class I decided to call back and my ex picks up her phone. I quickly hang up realizing that I didn't want to talk to her. She calls me back and leaves me a voicemail asking why I called. I know eh ? So I go on Facebook and change my status saying "i wonder why ppl call from an uknown number, and then when i call back, ask why i called" She sent me a Facebook private message saying "ur so immature with ur pathetic status names... seriously get over yourself spion_kop. i called by accident, and didnt even realized that i called. FIRSTLY i didnt call from an unknown number..it was work..and i ment to call my friend. im sorry that ur number came to mind...SECONDLY, why the did u call back and not say anything? talk about wasting my time.. and 3rdly, ur status' are getting stupid and old..so seriously stop being the immature one, and then later regret what u did.. The only reason I didn't recognize her work number is because I deleted her number and obvs I didtn memorize it. She loves calling me immature just so she can boost her self esteem. Do you guys have any suggestions on what I can or should/should not do? |
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Ahh weird day today...
I have been NC for a week from my ex, and the one time I saw her through this, I completely ignored her (see my previous post). So today I get a text from her asking to meet up after class. I know I shouldn't have agreed but I feel like I'm at the point where I'm okay with talking to her. Plus from our last run in, I think she thought I hated her, which I do not, so I wanted to clear that up. Anyway, I meet up with her . We talk for a little and she finds out I'm stuck on campus today because my car is in the shop and I can't get a ride home until much later. She offers to give me a ride and then suggests maybe we can eat and hang out too. At this point I get a little angry, as I realize she misses me and just wants to see me to make herself feel better. So I tell her that I can't just come running whenever she misses me and tell her how messed up what she did to me was. At this point she gets mad and storms away from me. I think... okay... if you can't be mature enough to have a conversation with me than fine. So I leave too... I have my own stuff to take care of. Few minutes later, she calls me and tells me she wasn't doing this to try to get me to stop ignoring her (I told her I needed my space), but she was only trying to be nice by offering me a ride home. I feel a little guilty for telling her off before, and start to think that maybe she really was just trying to be nice, so I tell her fine, you can drive me home if you really want. On the ride home she tells me she is really hungry and would like to eat too before she has to drive back. Still feeling a little guilty, I agree to that and we find a place to eat. During this time, she tells me stupid, meaningless things such as "I miss you and I think about you all the time." When I hear this I realize that I was right - she just missed me and wanted to see me - she wasn't just driving me out of kindness. At this point I know well enough not to get my hopes up about her coming back to me and whatever. In terms of healing, I don't think today's incident has set me back. I don't miss her more than I usually do, and don't expect anything of her from today. This situation was just overall very awkward for me to handle. On one hand, I know if I had refused her ride back I would feel guilty because, according to her, she was just trying to be nice. However, after accepting her ride and her telling me those nonsense things, I feel like I was tricked because it turns out it was only because she missed me... Thoughts anyone? How should I handle this in the future? |
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Havok, you got suckered into this man. You never hafta let your guard down. She knows how to hit the spot and the dumpees like you and me fall for it.
Well at least now you know and this can be a good lesson learnt. Don't let it get you down because you realized what she is trying to do, take it as a positive lesson. Keep your chin up bro. |
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 Originally Posted by spion_kop
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7 days of no contact...
damn~ it's getting harder =/ |
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Originally Posted by spion_kop
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So I go on Facebook and change my status saying "i wonder why ppl call from an unknown number, and then when i call back, ask why i called"
IGNORE THIS KIND OF STUFF! |
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It's just hard/confusing for me to maintain that right distance, know what I mean?
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Tal, I barely got any sleep last night because I was out with friends all night even though I had to wake up at 7 this morning so I was really out of it.
But this annoyed me so much that instead of ignoring it, like how I usually do, I cracked. But I saved her work number so next time I know! It just helped me realize who she is each day. |
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Originally Posted by talaniman
Don't mean it in a mean way, just don't broadcast what's going on in your life (drama) over the Facebook airwaves, its nobody's business |
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Yea, I haven't done that before, but this was too much today. So now I made sure that she has no way or EVER reaching me/stalking me/creeping up on me.
I don't understand why she would do something like that. I've not spoken to her, msged her or anything like that. It feels like I dumped her and moved on while she is still holding on. I know she wants to ease her guilt, feel wanted but honestly she thinks like she is like God's gift on earth and that no one else matters. That's really going to get her in the end, karma will get her |
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I think when you emphasize about her/him, you are thinking about them (which is harmful, I can't say that it is helpful or productive). When you try to not think about them, the thought of trying to not think of them comes into mind, which is just as bad as trying to think about them. Don't try to fight the feelings, the emotions, the pain and the sorrow. Receive everything gently and with an open-mind, and then let those thoughts go. Receive and let go, because you are going to move on forward. Not move back. I believe that's how you grow and prosper in life, good luck guys.
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That's really going to get her in the end, karma will get her
Lesson learned?? |
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Lesson learnt tal. She did want a reaction and she got it. I must say though, she's going quite low to get it. Who the hell did I fall in love with? She left me yet she won't let me be. It's really annoying.
Does this mean that I broke NC? |
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Doesn't matter, as long as you learned something you needed to know.
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I want to call my ex D:
the urge... lol |
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Originally Posted by spion_kop
1. She called you 2. She checked out your Facebook So my guess is she is pretty interested in what you're doing,however only in a sick selfish way.She hates herself and blows it out on you. |
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