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trouble101 · Mar 13, 2006, 06:51 AM

Me and my boyfriend were moving 2 hours away and he took the kids on the Friday all of the house contents all of the kids contents and was suppose to pick my up on suday to bring me there I stayed home to wrap up last min packing.I waited all mornin then his friend knocked on the door handin me papers stating he was going for full custody of the kids.and wasn't commin to get me.now he has my kids 2 hours away won't let me speak to them I told him those kids will never move without me.the papers only state a court case has been started against me... can he just keep my kids he tricked me into thinking we were all moving there I'm so lost without my kids

LTheobald · Mar 13, 2006, 06:59 AM

Before I start - I have no legal knowledge, experience etc. This is just my opinion.

I'm assuming the boyfriend is father of the children. Anyway - ring your lawyer and ask him if this is legal. If you don't have one - get one. It sounds like you are going to need it. It might also be worth ringing your local police department and reporting the incident. Reporting the incident may help in a way - just taking the kids like this is irresponsible behaviour.

ScottGem · Mar 13, 2006, 07:57 AM

Upon reading this again, You should run not walk to an attorney. If papers were filed, that had to be done in a court. The court and judge is listed on those papers. You can go to the courthouse and ask for a recommendation for an attorney.

I also have to assume that the boyfriend is the biological father. I don't see any reason a court would grant him temporary custody in a custody battle otherwise, since he would have little legal standing.

You NEED a lawyer now. Someone to explain what the papers are and how you can proceed. I rescind my advice on going to the police because court papers have been filed based on your statement. If that's the case, then all the police will do is refer you to the court or an attorney.

fredg · Mar 13, 2006, 08:02 AM

Hi,
I also suggest calling your local Police. They can then talk with you, and hopefully find your children. I would then call a lawyer. I am not a lawyer, nor a Professional in this area. A lawyer could then give you advice on what to do. I do wish you and the children the best.

trouble101 · Mar 13, 2006, 02:56 PM

I want to thank you for your advice I went and got a lawyer and I have to wait to the court date,, to see if the two lawyers can come to an agreement only thing is they said he has just as much right to have the kids right now and it's in his hands if he lets me see or talk to them.it is not legal for him to keep them but he has as much rights as me... He has them and he will keep a close eye I don't come and try and take them back

ScottGem · Mar 13, 2006, 04:56 PM

I'm glad you got a lawyer, what I think he meant was that, right now, because he has physical custody, he is in the drivers seat as far as controlling access.

However, from what I know, the mother has a tremendous edge when it comes to custody battles. The only way I can see that you would not get at least 50% custody is if he can make a case that you are unfit as a mother. I'm not saying you are, but you need to be able to offer evidence to the contrary. Your attorney can help you there. Unless he can make a strong case of your unfitness, then he will have to agree to a custody arrangement. I would talk to your attorney about making sure that the kids are brought in for a court date. Since he has a history of removing the kids from you without notice, you want to make sure the kids are available. Should you win the case.

Good Luck.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 13, 2006, 09:44 PM

This is a very good example that kids are not "mine" or "thiers" they are
"ours" even if a couple is not married If he is listed on the birth certificate as their father.

So as their father, the children as as much his as they are the mothers.
Unless the court has issued one or the other a temporary custody order, either has equal rights to have the kids.

The Police do not get involved in custody matters unless there is a court order and often not even then unless the order directly orders them to act.

Without being married, if he took property that belongs to you, that can be theft, but even then many courts will view it as a civil matter since you were living together and now are having child custody issues. But if he does not return your property you may have a case for theft.

Of course there would be nothing stoping you from going up there and getting the kids and bringing them back with you either. Unless he was awarded temp custody by the court

ScottGem · Mar 14, 2006, 06:17 AM

Based on what has been said so far, the mother WAS served with some court papers and her attorney says he's in control for now. That indicates that he does have the ear of the court and temp custody.

I would strongly discourage her from any action that might be going against the court as that can only hurt her for the future. That he has apparently snuck around to get the kids under his control will not sit will with the courts. Unless there is something we are not being told.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 14, 2006, 08:11 AM

It all depends on what the court papers says, if it is merely a court date, that is not temp custody, or emergancy custody.

And of course what ever the lawyer says, but often in court who has the physcial custody at the time of the hearing can make a difference, esp depending on how it is presented in court.

Her story, he moved off and took the kids.

His story, she just would not come with us and deserted us.

The judge was not there and can only go by what he can see.

What effort has she made to get the children back, did she call the police when they did not show up, did she call the hospitals looking for them when they were late.

Often, esp in court of state issues where one state will not honor the temp custody order of another state, "sneaking" the children out of one state unto the state with the court order is the only way to get children back with their parent. ( while done quietly it is done very often, there are even groups that help with these actions, comparing thierself to the old underground railroad that used to help slaves, now helping children get back to their parent who is traped by two states fighting over jurisdiction)
** not that this is the case. But I saw no where , that she said he got a temp or emergancy custody order, only that a court date for a hearing was set. That is a big difference. And depending on when the hearing is, and how many times they pospone the hearing, it is hard to say what is being told the children, "your mom deserted you, she does not want to keep you"
With enough time younger children can be turned away from one parent, which will make a big difference in how they act to her in court.

The parent who physcially has the child prior to the court hearing, has a advantage if they use under handed methods. And if he left the way she said he did, that would appear possible.

I just know personally, if my children's mother had my children, and there was no legal restraining order or custody order, I would most likely do anything possible to regain physcial custody prior to the court hearing.

ScottGem · Mar 14, 2006, 09:03 AM

I don't disagree with what you are saying here, Chuck.

fredg · Mar 15, 2006, 06:19 AM

Hi, trouble101,
The best advice you can get is from your Lawyer. He/she will know what to do in your particular case. I do wish you the best, and good luck.

perezquad · Mar 17, 2006, 06:34 PM

I am no legal expert, all I can go by is what I went through. First of all, get yourself a lawyer, you will need it. Second, he can not take the kids out of the state without the courts permission. You said he was 2hrs away but didn't say weather its in the same state or not. If he takes the kids out of state he needs the courts permission otherwise it can be considered kidnapping unless they are out of the state for 6mos with no protest. When my ex wife and I split I had to get the permission of the courts to move out of state. The courts will decide who is more capable of taking better care of the kids. Like I said I am no legal expert, can only speak for what I went through in my state. Good Luck.

s_cianci · Mar 19, 2006, 06:39 PM

Unfortunately at this point you'll probably have to wait until your case gets before a judge before the kids get returned to you. Otherwise, trying to take them back by force will create more problems than it will solve. You could file a police report and probably should for the record (if you haven't already) but understand that their power is limited also as they only enforce the laws, they don't make them. I'm presuming that the boyfriend you speak of is the childrens' father. Given the circumstances it's highly unlikely that the judge would allow the children to continue to remain in his custody. However, you will have to honor any visitation order that the court grants on his behalf. Contact an attorney who specializes in family law. If you can't afford to hire one, at least consult with one. You can often get a low-cost or free initial consultation by contacting the lawyer referral service for your county of residence. Explain to them that it is a family law matter. When you go, be sure to take all documents pertaining to the case with you (court summonses, police reports, etc.)