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legalhelpplease · Jun 12, 2008, 07:04 AM

I begged this man to be a family when I found out I was pregnant. He denies he was the father right after I told him. He tells everyone I told him it was someone else's WHEN I DID NOT. So he came to one ultrasound and took me on one date during my pregnancy - that was the relationship. I had my little girl - contacted him after one month and asked him to see her... he said no. so I moved on and her "daddy" has been in her life since she was 4 weeks old. She is now 3 and my husband and I filed for adoption. Bio father has now stepped in and said he wants rights. I don't know what to do- my husband and I gave him the option that we would allow him to see her on our terms if he didn't fight us for rights and we would not ask for support. We want our little girl to have our last name and of course we feel like we should have full rights - this man is a stranger! We are getting ready to do a paternity test and I want to know - what are the odds he will get rights after 3 years? I live in Indiana - Anyone else have similair situations?

rodandy12 · Jun 12, 2008, 07:12 AM

I don't know the answer to your question, but it seems to me that with rights comes responsibilities. If you do the paternity test and it turns out he is the father, you might want to consider seeking support from him if he pushes the rights issue.

On the other hand, people change. Maybe he has. Maybe he can make a positive contribution to her life. You might want to be careful what you say about him in front of her. I'm always amazed at what kids pick up.

But, if he is the father, I imagine he at least has a shot at getting rights.

ScottGem · Jun 12, 2008, 07:18 AM

Unfortunately for you, he has the rights of a biological father. That he has chosen not exercize them for 3 years is a negative against him , but not enough of one to keep him from getting visitation (probably supervised at first) and having the other rights of a father.

Unfortunately for him, with rights come responsibilities. Once the paternity test is done, if he still refuses to relinquish his rights to clear it for your husband to adopt, then tell him if he wants to be a part of her life, he's going to have to pay for the privilege. File for child support, try to get back support. If that doesn't faze him, then he truly has had a change of heart and does want to be a good father. And you will just have to deal with that.