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    AmExp's Avatar
    AmExp Posts: 330, Reputation: 11
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    #1

    Jun 8, 2008, 05:19 PM
    First Love
    IF you broke up with your first love, how long did it take you to get OVER your ex?
    plonak's Avatar
    plonak Posts: 742, Reputation: 117
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    #2

    Jun 8, 2008, 05:36 PM
    There is no clear cut answer for that.. everyone is different

    I just broke up with my first love on Friday. We were together for 13 months.. it's been a rough ride so far.. I love him so much but I just can't be with him.

    No contact is the best thing.. I asked my Ex to not call me or contact me because it makes it so much harder to hear their voice all the time.. he didn't repect that and is trying to call me.. I have ignored him so far..

    Believe me, no contact is really the only way to move on.. I tried breaking up with him 6 months ago and we kept in contact the whole time and it made me miserable and we ended up getting back together.

    I'm sorry about your heartbreak, we are all here for you
    damaged's Avatar
    damaged Posts: 186, Reputation: 11
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    #3

    Jun 8, 2008, 06:46 PM
    I've heard that you never forget your first love & I hope with all my heart they're wrong... I'm here because of my first love... We were together for 2 yrs... It's sooo hard!. they all say it'll make me stronger... but it just makes me scared!. For me it has been 3 LONG months... I'm going through the worst moments of my life... but I'm feeling better now than I was before, so it seriously gets better with time... Some days are going to be bad, real bad.. but others will be easier.. Just be patient & no contact will help... at first its going to suck because you want to talk to him and see how he's doing, see if he misses you.. but just be strong and it does get better in time... how much time?. can't tell, no one can.. just stay away from him(as hard as it is) it'll make your healing process easier, faster... & I wish you the best!. BE STRONG :)
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Jun 8, 2008, 06:50 PM
    You never forget your first love, I still remember mine with fond memories ( Hi Wendy) but you get over it as you move on, and then you move on and go on to someone else.
    damaged's Avatar
    damaged Posts: 186, Reputation: 11
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    #5

    Jun 8, 2008, 06:55 PM
    What do you feel when you think about her?. The thing is that I don't want to remember him, and still hurt... IDK if you understand me :(
    jrsg's Avatar
    jrsg Posts: 560, Reputation: 67
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    #6

    Jun 8, 2008, 07:10 PM
    I say no timeline to give here... If you made or think you've made any mistakes, you need to forgive yourself for those mistakes before you can move on.
    Other than that, NC works well, and just move on. Date again, get out in the world. DON'T spend all your time in bed, thinking about him/her. Try to distract yourself with activities, other friends, and that will help you forget.

    But it is always different for that first love. I don't think I have felt that yet (only 16), so I can't comment on how to get over that.
    NorthernNiceGuy's Avatar
    NorthernNiceGuy Posts: 238, Reputation: 75
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    #7

    Jun 8, 2008, 07:30 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by damaged
    what do you feel when you think about her??...The thing is that i dont wanna remember him, and still hurt...IDK if you understand me :(
    Hey damaged, I know how you're feeling... I just got out of my relationship... with my first real love (4 years).

    I think the point here is that you never forget them because they were your first for so many things. And usually we have these first loves when we are young, when we are very impressionable so they usually have a big part in shaping the kind of people we turn into.

    In the future when you look back at this its not going to be with a sense of pain. You will remember the things you learned and the good times you shared. (and bad) I was with mine for 4 years, you for two, so how could you just forget about them, especially when they were such a big part of our lives.

    Right now all you associate with your ex is this pain, because that is all we know right now and can't picture feeling any different. You just got to trust and have faith that you are going to feel good again. I still feel pretty crumby (only 1.5 months in) but I know with time it will pass.

    You are going to be in love again, maybe several more times until you actually find the `one`, and when you do you will be grateful that life turned out the way it did.
    damaged's Avatar
    damaged Posts: 186, Reputation: 11
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    #8

    Jun 8, 2008, 07:34 PM
    Do u ever feel the same way you felt with your first love?. 4 example: I felt this l0vey d0vey,head 0ver heals,crazy for him love( it felt s0 right,so beautiful :(
    ... w0uld I feel like that again??
    damaged's Avatar
    damaged Posts: 186, Reputation: 11
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    #9

    Jun 8, 2008, 07:39 PM
    Thx NNG... Its so hard... but I guess this is the way things are supposed to be... like they say "everything happens for a reason"... prob something so much better is waiting for us
    :)
    NorthernNiceGuy's Avatar
    NorthernNiceGuy Posts: 238, Reputation: 75
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    #10

    Jun 8, 2008, 07:42 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by damaged
    Do u ever feel the same way you felt with your first love??...4 example: I felt this l0vey d0vey,head 0ver heals,crazy 4 him love( it felt s0 right,so beautiful :(
    ...w0uld I feel like that again???
    We will, promise. I have talked to quite a few people about it, because I was feeling the same way you were. And the answer is always a resounding yes!! Not many people marry there first love, remember that!!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #11

    Jun 9, 2008, 06:51 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by AmExp
    IF you broke up with your first love, how long did it take you to get OVER your ex?
    6 months, after a 3 year relationship that started in high school.
    damaged's Avatar
    damaged Posts: 186, Reputation: 11
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    #12

    Jun 9, 2008, 07:27 AM
    Tal..
    That's how long it took you?.
    You completely got over her?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #13

    Jun 9, 2008, 08:01 AM
    She still haunts me every now and then, but I have always got things to do, and people to see.
    damaged's Avatar
    damaged Posts: 186, Reputation: 11
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    #14

    Jun 9, 2008, 08:18 AM
    What do you feel when you think about her??
    Does it hurt/bother?
    starlite1's Avatar
    starlite1 Posts: 753, Reputation: 58
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    #15

    Jun 9, 2008, 08:26 AM
    Hi Damaged,

    How are you doing today my friend?
    DazT's Avatar
    DazT Posts: 69, Reputation: 2
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    #16

    Jun 9, 2008, 08:35 AM
    I'm getting over my first love as well.. she was my first for everything too. Have broken up around 4 months now, no contact for 3 months. It gets easier and I'm seeing other girls. You just have bad days now and again. But keep strong, our lives are just starting and there's much better things in the future (even though we can't see it now).
    damaged's Avatar
    damaged Posts: 186, Reputation: 11
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    #17

    Jun 9, 2008, 08:37 AM
    Hi star..
    I'm doing pretty good...
    How about you?.
    How was your weekend?
    eastcoast1's Avatar
    eastcoast1 Posts: 34, Reputation: 2
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    #18

    Jun 9, 2008, 08:42 AM
    My 1st love is one of my best friends now (we started dating in HS in 98, dated for the 1st year of college together, but then drifted apart) we tried to get back together a couple times, but it just wasn't the same. We lost touch for about 3 years, but then became friends again, and now 10 years later, we are great friends. I would have never thought in a million years I would be friends with her since my feelings for her were so strong, but add a few relationships into the blender, and although I care about her a ton, my "relationship" feelings for her are no longer there.
    damaged's Avatar
    damaged Posts: 186, Reputation: 11
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    #19

    Jun 9, 2008, 08:51 AM
    Nice.. I just want to get to that point.. where he doesn't "matter" or it doesn't hurt anymore...
    mrchef1110's Avatar
    mrchef1110 Posts: 62, Reputation: 8
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    #20

    Jun 9, 2008, 11:48 AM
    Well my first relationship was an interesting one. Although I didn't have a relationship per-say the way it happened and ended kind of scarred me for a while, like a couple of years. It was one of those puppy love things when I was a freshman in high-school that lasted for like a year however the things she said and did at the end really messed me up for a long while, like I didn't feel good about myself for about 3 years after that. However, time does heal all wounds even ones that you don't think will be and I am a better person for having had that experience as it made me realize a lot of things about myself and this life.

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