[companionship]

I have been married for one month and the month have been the longest for me. Since we got married my husband and I have been in constant battle. Its like we have a pattern,today we laugh tomorrow we fight. In the meanwhile I am still in love with my ex of five years. What should I do now?

[jolienoire]

Perhaps this lingering passion for your ex is causing you to argue with your husband. Maybe you wish it was your ex you were married too or resenting your husband because you still think you love your ex. I really don't know all the details of your marriage. But try to get over the ex because there is a reason he is an Ex and not your husband. Perhaps communicate effectively with your husband find out what is causing the fights.Seek counseling. Your ex is old news you really need to move on from that in order to work on your marriage. Because you can be causing the problems and the fighting in your marriage subconsciously and not even realizing that you are. Counseling would help.

[donf]

May I suggest you look inside yourself and find why you were drawn to your new husband and then concentrate on that.

You have remarried and vowed yourself to your new husband. Spending time on your former husband and a relationship that is no longer there is a heavy distraction to your new marriage.

[igman]

I completey agree with jolienoire and donf.

[JBeaucaire]

Feelings for other men will occur forever. Not just for your ex, that connection is obviously understandable, but for men you meet every day. Just because you get married doesn't mean your libido and attraction to others disappears. Not at all. Getting your engine revved up thinking of other men should actually benefit your marriage... you take that energy home!

Disregarding why you divorced, you got married again. Do NOT let your previous divorce convince you this is an OK option. It's not.

Marriage is a covenant. It's standing up and saying, "Enough practice, I'm vowing to stand at your side and fight off the forces of the universe until we die."

The whole point of getting married is security. Unlike dating, your mistakes are supposedly PREforgiven. When things are going badly, someone has already vowed you will not end up alone, so you don't have that worry at all while you're working it through.

This is so important. One of the forces in the universe you are fighting off is your own selfish nature, the nature that allows you to sometimes think it's OK to be unfaithful, or disparrage you marriage because of attractions to others. It's not OK.

Your husband should be the FIRST one you tell when these feelings start to crop up so he can be aware and help you.

And your awareness of the dangerous inappropriate attraction to your ex (or any man in the future) should cause YOU to make that person off limits.

You promised you would.

[honeyman]

I completely agree with Jolienoire. Your Ex is Ex. What is his work in your married life?
Purhaps your battle is only due to bloody Ex. Forgate him completely. Never tell this story of Ex to your husband otherwise may be you can forgate ex but your husband will not.
What is your husband's fault in all this? Was you told this thing to him before your marriage?
Communicate effectively with your husband find out what is causing the fights.
Give lots of love to him and surely you will 100% get same quantity in back.
Donot fight... do love...
Donot cheat him.
ALL THE BEST

[N0help4u]

Even if you miss your ex it could be just indicating that you were happier with him.
It doesn't mean the relationship was better for you or anything like that.
You can't just go making a rash decision like I was better off with him and walk away from your relationship now. Your ex might not even want you back if that is what you were thinking. Not sure what your arguments are about or what rule you play in them, but it sounds like he could have issues he needs counseling for (even better both get counseling).