Don't know how I can go on

eastcoast1 · Jun 9, 2008, 06:34 AM

The feelings will go away, in time. It's up to you how to control your emotions, focus on work while you're there, and that's that. Time heals everything, you'll get through it

cant breathe · Jun 9, 2008, 06:53 AM

Everyone says the feelings will go in time but right now the pain is so acute. I want to contact him to scream, shout and let him know how much I'm hurting but what we would be the point... he's not stupid he knows already and it was just do me more damage. I just don't understand how he is able to switch his feelings off and move on acting like we are strangers but I suppose deep down I do, it's because the love has gone for him

talaniman · Jun 9, 2008, 07:11 AM

confirm my fears and I'm not strong enough... dont know what to do or how I can go on...

Your stronger than you think, and more capable than you know, so stop downing yourself with that I can't BS!

I just don't understand how he is able to switch his feelings off and move on acting like we are strangers but I suppose deep down I do, it's because the love has gone for him

Maybe it was never there the way you thought, and you were more emotionally invested than he was from the beginning. Or his coping skills are more developed than are yours. Whatever the reason, you need to get with the program of getting yourself under control, to handle your business. You have a family to support.

talaniman · Jun 9, 2008, 07:13 AM

I want to contact him to scream, shout and let him know how much I'm hurting but what we would be the point...

Give yourself credit for coming here to vent. That in itself is a good decision.

cant breathe · Jun 9, 2008, 07:53 AM

Thanks. Believe me I'm trying to be strong for myself respect and dignity most of all. It's really hard having to face him 5 days a week when I know the best thing for me would be to have no contact at all I suppose having to see him will just delay the healing process a bit.

eastcoast1 · Jun 9, 2008, 08:39 AM

It sucks you have to see him daily, but in a way I think this will desensitize you from him. You WILL reach the day where he is just another person, believe me, and believe yourself. I've been in your shoes before, and although the thought of being over the person might not seem realistic, time will overcome those feelings. Let time take it course, and "do it's thing" and look at the big picture whenever you have a moment of weakness, reach out to your daughters for strength.

Chin up

cant breathe · Jun 9, 2008, 08:59 AM

Thanks eastcoast... How long did it take you to feel normal again?

eastcoast1 · Jun 9, 2008, 09:20 AM

This time around it's been about 2 months, and the feelings seem to come and go. I realized a lot of things/emotions during these last couple months, one of them being, that I did everything possible to treat a woman the way she should be treated (to my knowledge) love/respect/dedication and that if that's something she doesn't want, or appreciate it, someone else out there will.

I can't tell you I am 100% but I've come a hell of a long way from the man I was 2 months ago. I have faith, and I truly believe that "she" is out there somewhere, until I meet her, I will do what makes me happy, which has been focusing on my family (I don't have kids, but my sisters, parents, etc) work, the gym, and golf... the last one is my new addiction :)

I told her how I felt when she left me, found this forum, looked back once, and haven't looked back since. Everyday I try to shift any focus I have for her, on something productive, and something that will reciprocate a positive energy back.

cant breathe · Jun 9, 2008, 09:35 AM

I'm glad you are getting there. And hope you find your special someone who will love you the way you deserve(even although she may become a golf widow):p You are right I need to start focusing on other things and stop allowing him to occupy my every waking thought. The only one that can decide to move on is me I know that but the hardest part is being brutal enough with myself to admit... The ship has sailed, he's gone, it would never be the same even if he did come back and most importanly that I don't need him to fuction the way I think I do.

eastcoast1 · Jun 9, 2008, 09:42 AM

Now you're talking! It's a tough reality to accept, but once you accept it, you can begin to heal. My sister has 3 kids (toddlers) and whenever I felt down, I would drive over there, and it's amazing what a child's laugh can do to someone that's feeling down. They really helped out a GREAT deal

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