[luigi1111]

My husband's nephew is getting married on July 4. We are invited but not our 10 yr old child. :( It will be an all day affair, and being July 4 th we don't have anyone we would want her to stay with all day. We also have 2 dogs that would be alone all day. Not good on the 4th due to all the noise at night. We just found out that some out of town guests are bringing their children to the wedding. We are now rethinking if we should even attend. My husband is not close with his family so we might just send a gift and be safe on the 4th. What do you think?

[Fr_Chuck]

I would not attend a wedding where my children were not welcome, If they did not want children at the actual wedding, child care should have been provided at the church. ** but a wedding is and should be a family affair, children should see that getting married is a good thing.

So for me, if my child is not invited I don't go. But that is just me

[SHERRYANDGREG]

My husband and I had an adult only wedding. It wasn't because we don't love kids. It was because we could not afford to pay $15 a plate for each kid. Not to mention the fact there was drinking at the wedding which children do not need to be around.

[LearningAsIGo]

It's their choice to have an adult only wedding. That being said, they should understand that it may result in a smaller guest list...

I'm sure you're not the only parents invited who will decline the RSVP due to inconvenience. If it doesn't work for you, don't attend.

[Synnen]

If you were invited to a cocktail party, fancy dress--would you even consider bringing your children, especially if they were not invited?

Why do people see weddings as something different than a party that someone else is throwing and paying for?

If kids aren't invited, and you're not comfortable leaving them with someone else, then don't go! But don't make the people whose special day this is feel bad because they didn't want screaming kids they have to pay adult prices for that need to be entertained and have special accommodations for. No WONDER people don't want kids at their weddings!

I agree that if ONE kid is welcome, then they ALL should be--or an age cutoff or whatever is acceptable too (like no kids under 10). I also think that weddings are a great place for kids to meet relatives they never or hardly ever would see otherwise. But--weddings are EXPENSIVE. If someone wants their wedding to be adult only, with entertainment that is not necessarily family friendly, and a fancy dress code, or whatever--well, it's their party.

If it's your husband's side of the family, isn't there anyone on YOUR side of the family that your daughter could stay with? Or is it more that you feel she is being snubbed because of her age? Or is it that it's an inconvenience to YOU to find childcare for her?

As a member of that small and elite group--married withOUT kids--I'm somewhat relieved to attend affairs that don't have kids involved. It allows for grownups to act like PEOPLE instead of PARENTS.

And no--it's not the responsibility of the couple getting married to provide childcare for other peoples' children. As long as they accept that there are some poeople who would not attend because they can't find childcare, or do not want to deal with it, then more power to them!

[smearcase]

Could yor husband go to show respect to his nephew, then bug out ASAP to spend the rest of the holiday with the family?
They set the standards and they have the right to and you can deal with those circumstances however you want to, including no show at all.