[starlite1]

I have to work on myself esteem, my jealousy, my neediness - for me and for my relationship, so I can be a better partner. I have to work on trust... and he needs to work on his own things too.

Granted, I should not have broken up with him, I did it because of fear that he would leave again (read my initial post). But, I need to work on my own issues.

[cfloveu]

I have to work on my self esteem, my jealousy, my neediness - for me and for my relationship, so I can be a better partner. I have to work on trust....and he needs to work on his own things too.

Granted, I should not have broken up with him, I did it because of fear that he would leave again (read my initial post). But, I need to work on my own issues.

And how ll he know all that?

[liz28]

I have to work on my self esteem, my jealousy, my neediness - for me and for my relationship, so I can be a better partner. I have to work on trust....and he needs to work on his own things too.

Granted, I should not have broken up with him, I did it because of fear that he would leave again (read my initial post). But, I need to work on my own issues.

That' good that you realize what you need to work on because anyone have their own issues. I seek help by using self help books and saw a very good therepist and she helped me a lot. Everyone has their own faults and it good when that indivual realize theirs.

[starlite1]

And how ll he know all that?

That's the hard part... I want to contact him so badly, but I am hoping that he contacts me first.. (I know it is a cat and mouse game). Or.. I may just reach out to him, once I am in a better place within myself, and talk to him...

[starlite1]

That' good that you realize what you need to work on because anyone have their own issues. I seek help by using self help books and saw a very good therepist and she helped me alot. Everyone has their own faults and it good when that indivual realize theirs.

Thank you Liz. It honestly took my breaking up to realize this, that I have some changing to do, and because I really love this man, and myself. For the first time in my life, I love myself, or getting there...

I also owe my realizations and working on myself to all of you. You are all so great.. Never once did any of you judge me or berate me in anyway at all. You all have given me hope, strength, and friendship... I appreciate you all more than you can imagine!

Thank you!:)

[liz28]

Starlite,
I too think this site is great and maybe when you have time you can read my question when I first joined. I saw a therepist secretly because no one was supportive.

[starlite1]

Hi Liz,

Of course I will. You weren't getting support here, or from the outside?

[cfloveu]

Hi Liz,

Of course I will. You weren't getting support here, or from the outside?

I don't understand why people have physical relations before they could get married? Is love all but SEX?

[starlite1]

I dont understand why people have physical relations before they could get married? Is love all but SEX?

Of course not. And having sex before marriage is a personal preference. Not everyone has sex before marriage. If they do, they do.

[starlite1]

Starlite,
I too think this site is great and maybe when you have time you can read my question when I first joined. I saw a therepist secretly because no one was supportive.

Hi Liz,

I read your post. I would have been very upset too, if my boyfriend was calling a chat line. How are you doing?

[Ash123]

You skipped class to talk to a woman online?

You flew to Bangkok based on an online conversation?

You slept on the road outside the college waiting for her?



It may be time to consider professional help in your healing.

Learning how to deal with people and the realities of the world or you could end up in an even worse place. You sound like you may be idealizing love and relationships by staying home and planning your life about a likely fantasy.

You are not alone... This is not unusual. Especcially in the internet age. But you need to sort out how to deal with real women in the real world. It can be scary, but do it one day at a time.

If this is a real post, get help fast my man. So, this will not happen again.

[Witchywoman1212]

Can't say that I have friend.

Ummm, perhaps you should consider what drove you to such lenghts for a girl you never met? The phrase jumping in too soon is an understatement here. Try not to confuse love and wow somebody likes me.

Oh and next time think it ALL the way through before you travel the ends of the earth looking for little miss right.....whom......you've....never......seen.

Sorry,it must suck.

Umm BMI, hello... remember me,sound familiar ay?
Where have you been,mr. deserter,lol.

[Ash123]

Ok, Ok. I cannot be mr. popular just because it sounds right.

So. hear me out.

(hmm, Thanks for the disagree, though I am puzzled by it since you even added "you're right" to your comment :-)

Anyway, often a non-politically correct and sober perspective on a topic is what I feel I owe a person - popular or not. Call it the tough love approach on matters like this.

Cfloveu, I know you are hurting, but I really think you need to talk this out with a pro.
I think this has eclipsed the reaches of online discussion. The point here is that falling in love is not always an excuse in life. John Hinckley fell in love with Jodie Foster and he is in jail now... No, you are not a danger, but I think some practical thinking will help you in the future. We must love with our hearts and minds and then make sure it is a reality.

This was not a reality. A woman who one does not know in the far east, is by all measures a suspect venture. I would be curious to know who his last relationship was and how it ended... I think you can build on these things, but make sure you look out for yourself my man... love with the right person is a powerful thing - and in time I hope it happens for you.

[cfloveu]

Ok, Ok. I cannot be mr. popular just because it sounds right.

So. hear me out.

(hmm, Thanks for the disagree, though I am puzzled by it since you even added "you're right" to your comment :-)

Anyway, often a non-politically correct and sober perspective on a topic is what i feel i owe a person - popular or not. Call it the tough love approach on matters like this.

Cfloveu, i know you are hurting, but i really think you need to talk this out with a pro.
I think this has eclipsed the reaches of online discussion. The point here is that falling in love is not always an excuse in life. John Hinckley fell in love with Jodie Foster and he is in jail now...No, you are not a danger, but I think some practical thinking will help you in the future. We must love with our hearts and minds and then make sure it is a reality.

this was not a reality. a woman who one does not know in the far east, is by all measures a suspect venture. i would be curious to know who his last relationship was and how it ended.....i think you can build on these things, but make sure you look out for yourself my man....love with the right person is a powerful thing - and in time i hope it happens for you.

Ash, you can never define who is that RIGHT PERSON. If anyone knew then that person wouldn have had a breakup.

[Ash123]

My question to you is how are you defining "right?"

How well did you "know" this girl? Heard from her since?

Most relationships fail so we cannot be afraid to try. I just think you were stacking the cards against you from what I can tell.