[hime]

I have friends but don’t feel appreciated all the time. They do activity together and I rarely get invited. And when we meet they all talk mostly together and I’m alone in a corner next to them with nothing to do, waiting they talk to me or we do something else that everybody get involved.

I’m still virgin (I know it’s not very important but a lot of thing remind me of it and I don’t fell good about it, I don’t know how to say…) and I have no girlfriend. I only got one, but it did make it with her, I don’t know why :( I miss her. It was the only time I felt really liked, wanted and important for someone I really love.

I have time where I get depressed and I miss my ex girlfriend so much.

[George_1950]

Welcome to AMHD. Do not dump your current friends, but look for new ones. If you are able to support yourself and not otherwise occupied, look into volunteer work for new opportunities and friends.

[bigbird213]

It sounds like you have self-esteem issues. You need to find what makes you feel good and do more of it. You found that having a girlfriend makes you feel wanted, but that is the one dangerous area (and drugs) as you don't want to be dependent on someone, it will dirve them away.

What I have found out is that by boosting self-esteem and self-confidence, you immedately become more attractive to everyone else around you. No longer will you worry about being left in the corner because no one is talking to you. Maybe they still won't invite you into the conversation, but you will be confident enough in yourself to join in without having to be prompted. This is just one example, but the benefits are endless...

Try not worrying so much about what other people think. I know its hard to just do that, but with practice and some serious thought it can be done. It is a slow process, but worth the effort and time.

Remember, if you are depressed or feel as if you can't do it on your own, counselors can always help with this sort of thing. For a less drastic measure, there are always "self-help" books about boosting self-esteem and self-confidence...

Hope this helps.

[Fixer12]

I do agree you need to boost yourself esteem. Try not feeling so sorry for yourself .Just go enjoy the things you are interested in. When you are happy that's when others will be happy to be around you. That is when you find new people who will want to send their time with you...

If you think you need a girl to make yourself valid... then you have a lot to wait around for... even when you are with someone you will still have that same feeling... trust me. You just need to be happy with the way things are in your life and change your attidude.

[Clough]

I do agree with the above answers and wanted to add that my experience with using self-help books has been a real self-esteem booster! But, you do have to take the time to read them.

Concerning your feelings about things where you might not feel exactly "in" with a certain crowd because of something that you haven't done yet, i.e. being still a virgin. Please know that matters of intimacy between one person and another is a very personal thing and that each person should come to there own conclusions as to how they feel according to what they believe without having to feel pressured by others.

You have your life to live and must be able to live up to and feel good about the choices that you have made and that you will make in the future. Getting some help with your self-esteem will be helpful for you to think more positively and pro-actively concerning that.

[bigbird213]

Just to add to what Clough said:

You can't really trust what anyone says about their own intimacy. More so in high school, but how many guys do you think lie about this stuff? Don't sweat it as your not the only one. Don't feel that way.

[Romefalls19]

You're not alone, as hard as it is, try to interject yourself into a conversation with your friends. They probably don't even notice they are doing anything out of the ordinary.

[liz28]

Do you have anything in common with your friends or are they your friends just because? I used to feel that way when I was younger, but I realize I was not into the same things as them and had different views than them, so maybe that's the case.

You 22, you should be enjoying life instead of being depression and you would others relationships even though you might think differently now. It's okay you're a virgin and the next person would accept and at least they know your disease free. This is the time to reflect what you want out of life and go after your dreams. Address all the issues you have now and seek help to make you a better, stronger person. Books help but speaking to someone seem like it might help you more. Start doing some of the things you enjoy because you might have a social problem like I had and througg counseling I no longer that way and pretty outgoing thanks to my coach.

[hime]

Thank for your reply.

But what about my ex I miss her so bad?
I'm trying to stay friend with her but it's really hard. We don't talk very often, like we use to do, I miss that, and I don't see her as much as I would like. I which that we will see each other and do activity together like we did before.

[liz28]

Maybe chosing to be friends with her while you still have feeling for her, was not good. Deep down it gave you false hope and got tangle along the lines of the relationship that your once share. To truly get over someone you have to let go and accept the fact that your relationship is over. Clear your head and note that you is not sad about you. Start doing things for you and focus on things you need to do to make you a better person. Your young and life is not over your have more relationships, even though you might not believe that now.

[Stunning07]

YOUR EX IS YOUR X that means its time for you to x her out of your life for the time being... how can you even think about your ex if you don't love yourself yet? I myself went through and still am going through my first heart break... its tuff I hate it but for some reason I'm kind of glad it happened... I hope no one goes through a heart break but hey! I'm pretty sure everyone does it happens all around the world...

SO!! Maybe its time to pick yourself up now! Your 22! Instead of worring about this stupid girl, and your friends? Friends will come and go... why don't you put your future first... plan how you'lll succeed in life... go to school, your work, family join the gym, Learn how to love yourself first... and I promise you along the way you'll attract new friends, and a mate that will appricate you.. so just let the universe do the rest..

but its up to you to pick yourself up... you just can't let your mind and thoughts run you... you have to stand up and say no get busy make a plan and have some long term and short term goals...