[emeraldeyes]

Hi to all, I'm new to this website/forum and I know this is the place to ask your questions but I figure this was kind of place where some people can come to vent out on things that are going on in their lives and get some advice.

I'm a 25yr old female struggling with my weight. I've been overweight since the yr. 2000. I started to gain weight when I graduated from high school but really gain weight when I moved to Alabama. From there, I gained about 60lbs in one year. A lot of the weight gain was from water-gain as I retained a lot of water when I was there for some reason. You think living in a place where it's very humid and hot that I would have sweat ed it all out but I didn't. I didn't go to the doctor for it because I was young and stupid, didn't know much about water-gain or even noticed that I gained so much. I was blinded but when I got home to Texas I had noticed how big my body was. I went to the scale and weighed myself... 200lbs!. I read... I couldn't believe it! After a week coming back home I noticed that I started to sweat all that water I gained. I lost 30lbs of water-gain. I was so happy. But it didn't last long as it grew harder after wards to lose more weight. I exercised, got on a diet, tried pills. I did almost everything I could do, I even joined a fitness club. But through all that, my ambition and will power to lose weight started to fade or really didn't have much to beging with. And ever since I've been going up and down with my weight.

I don't have a scale here in my new home in New Mexico w/ my boyfriend but when I went to the doctor when I was sick last January, they weighed me at 200lbs. Again! I told myself that I would never go back to that weight but so much for that. Throughout these 5 yrs, I lose 10lbs, then gain it back plus 5 more lbs. and another time lost 5 lbs and gained 10. Back and forth, my weight goes up and down... I'm tired of it! My ambition comes and goes. I hardly have any will power just to workout for 20 minutes. I thank God I have a loving boyfriend that is there for me but he's one of those guys that always tells me I beautiful the way I am and that I'm not fat. I know he truly loves me and finds me attractive. And I know I would feel like crap if he was to say that I am fat. But when he says that I don't have to lose weight because I'm beautiful to him, my "will" to lose weight fades again. And then I start to feel that I don't need to lose weight when I know I have to. I don't know what to do... I have a problem with my will-power and my strength to lose the weight I want to lose. Does anyone has or have had this same problem as I do?? And what was it that finally made and pushed yourself to lose it? My boyfriend is a skinning guy, I think he weighs about 140lbs, it doesn't feel right for me to be bigger than he is. It's embarrassing to me and I don't want to get bigger... I see how people look at him and me, I can only imagine what they think. I know I shouldn't care about what people say but it's the "looks" that really get to me.

I want to look more sexier for my boyfriend and especially to be healthier. If I had the money I would join the club called Curves I would but I'm not sure how much they charge. Anyone know? I like to thank everyone that reads this forum because I know how everyone has their own problems going on or has other things going on as well. If anyone can give me any advice or suggestions on my weight problem I be very much appreciative. Thanks! Take Care!

[mrs.pennell]

Here I am again, responding to another one of your posts. We must have things in common! First can I say, I totally feel your pain. I have had ups and downs in my weight since high school. I finally got things under control and then I started dating the guy who is now my fiancé. He is in very good shape because he is a cyclist and a snowboarder. He can eat whatever he wants and still look the same... but of course when we started going out I started eating more and without the benefit of the same exercise I started gaining weight again. It is so frustrating! My fiancé says he doesn't care, that he loves me and I am beautiful and he listens to me cry and never gets angry. But I almost need someone to give me a kick in the butt everyday. We have decided that we are going to start a family soon and that has given me the motivation to eat really well, lots of fruits and vegetables and high fiber meals. Now I need to find the motivation to exercise every day. I manage about five days a week... but I need to step up the intensity to see any results, I think. I think the buddy system is best. Find a friend to exercise with and pick a time to meet in advance. Agree not to phone each other beforehand unless its an emergency. Then even if you feel lazy you still have to go because you know she'll be there waiting for you. I also bought a bike last summer to ride with my boyfriend. He loves to ride so his enthusiasm gets me going! Hey maybe we could start a buddy thing here on this forum... we'll log in and let each other know how we did this week. What kinds of things did we struggle with, how much exercise did we REALLY do. No fudging the truth! It'll be like a support system. Let me know what you think! Maybe other people will want to get in on it! All I know is I'm tired of feeling like I am hurting my health and I want to lose those extra thirty pounds I am carrying around on my very short frame!

[fredg]

HI,
You mentioned being on a diet. Did you mean one with no more than 2,000 calories a day?
The average person, in order not to gain or lose weight, needs about 2,000 calories a day.
If you haven't already, you can either go online, or buy a cheap paper-back book of calories. Try keeping your daily (24 hour period) intake of food/drink of calories below 2,000.
It doesn't involve "willpower" to go to a gym, work out, or exercise. It might be easier to limit your calories, rather than trying other things; if the other things don't get done.
I do wish you the very best. Also, friends have found that Weight Watchers, with meetings, works best for them. I do wish you the very best of luck.

[emeraldeyes]

WoW! I'm very surprise to see that we have more things in common not just with our pets, lol! It feels good to know that I'm not the only one that struggles with weight issues. Congratulations on you both! Set a date yet? How long have you both been together? It will be 10 months on the 21st of march for Paul and I.

I think your suggestion on the buddy system is a great idea. I even told my boyfriend that I needed a friend to help me lose weight and help the same in return. It would be an honor being your buddy on this Lose-Weight project here. It does help me out more to know that I have someone there to talk to and someone that is doing the same thing as I am to lose weight.

We should start up a forum here for ALL people join to help lose weight and start on eating right. We can have people give their advice on tips on food and exercises but mainly have people put their goals and have the "411" on what they are eating and what exercises they did for that week. But like you said to also discuss their struggles that they are having during that week and everyone would have to login a least once a week(or more, if possible) to make sure everyone is accomplishing their goals, supporting each other and doing all right. But we can both start this off together. Let me know on anymore ideas you have for this forum and I'll jot down some of mine.

I'm getting excited just thinking about this! I'm excited that I can finally get a good chance of losing the weight I want and the fact that we will help each other and possibly help out other people too! I'll write you a private message to give you my emailing address. Hope to hear from you soon! Take care

[emeraldeyes]

Hi Fredg,

The diets that I went on were Atkins diet, the South Beach diet, the water diet and others I can't recall the names of. All failed for me. But I did not do the 2,000 calorie diet, I always had noticed the Nutrition Fasts Label that are daily intake of food and drinks should be 2,000 or less. I was planning to start that diet but I just came too depress to do anymore diets. But now since mrs. Pennell and I have talked about starting a forum here about helping and supporting each other and doing a buddy system to lose weight I think I'll try that.

Thanks a bunch! Take care jessi

[CroCivic91]

Hey there... I guess I could join in on this discussion and tell you what I think.

First of all, I'm a 22 years old guy just trying to lose his belly. I'm 6"4 and 220lbs. I'm not fat, but just have a belly which i'd like gone.

I started going to the gym about 2 weeks ago, 3 times a week, and i'm looking to buy myself a "room bicycle" (how do you spell that? ). I've read a lot about losing weight on the internet, and it seems that you should find a formula somewhere about your target heart beat rate, and workout at such intensity to keep your heart beats in that range for 30 minutes or more.

At the gym, I also do weight training, so as I'm losing fat, I should be gaining muscles, so I can not use a scale to measure my progress, but I rather measure my waist once a week.

All right, to comment on your post now...

I thank God I have a loving bf that is there for me but he's one of those guys that always tells me I beautiful the way I am and that I'm not fat. I know he truly loves me and finds me attractive. And I know I would feel like crap if he was to say that I am fat. But when he says that I don't have to lose weight because I'm beautiful to him, my "will" to lose weight fades again. And then I start to feel that I don't need to lose weight when I know I have to. I don't know what to do....

Talk to your boyfriend and explain to him you want to lose weight because you'll feel better that way. Tell him you lose your will once he tells you you're beautiful the way you are (don't get me wrong here) and that you'd like him to give you support on trying to lose weight. Ask him to give you a push when you don't feel like going to fitness club. Just make him be your support.

My girlfriend is just the same, she says she doesn't mind my belly, but I feel embarrassed because of it. I want it gone and I asked her not to tell me she's OK with it... if she cannot say she doesn't like it, I ask her rather to say nothing. She understands me, and we even go to the gym together. When I'm sick of driving the bike after 15 minutes, she's there to support me to go on because she knows I want it, but I'm just feeling weak at the moment. Besides, is there anyone you'd rather listen to than your partner?

I want to look more sexier for my bf and especially to be healthier. If I had the money I would join the club called Curves I would but I'm not sure how much they charge. Anyone know?

This sounds like an excuse to me... not the fact that you said you don't have the money, but the fact you don't want to go there just because you're not sure how much they charge. Go there and ask, it's the best way to find out, and it's free of charge ;)

I wish you luck, and don't lose your will. You want to lose weight because of you. You feel bad with all that weight on yourself. You'll feel better with all that weight off yourself.

[mrs.pennell]

Congrats on your weight loss plan, CroCivic91. It's great that girlfriend goes to the gym with you. I commend you on coming up with a great plan for losing "your belly." My fiancé also works out with me, or walks in the park with and our dog. We also bought a stationary bike and he encourages me to use it everyday. But he also travels four days a week and I'm left to my own devices! So I think that here we can all offer a little encouragement and understanding!

Thanks for the congratulations, Jessica! My fiancé and I have been together now since November 2004 but we have been best friends for many year before that. We are getting married in May, somewhere in the Caribbean... just us and another couple that I have been friends with for nearly 13 years! I can't wait! We were going to do the wedding thing here in my home town but the planning was no fun. This way is less stress! Now I just have to lose some weight so that I actually enjoy wearing a bathing suit!

[mrs.pennell]

Okay I started a new thread so that people would sign up and we could start there... I called it "Need help losing weight...click here!" I thought that would get peoples attention!

[emeraldeyes]

Hi Robyn, I read your message, can't seem to find the thread. Where exactly is it? I'm here trying to become more familiar with this site, lol and don't know where everything is at.

[mrs.pennell]

I put it in weight loss but they moved it to tips! I couldn't find it at first either!

[jc105]

Will power is something only you can do for yourself, there are no tricks.

Imagine if you were single, how hard would you work out to get that target weight, for that target person. That's what I think about, going to the bar/club and imagine how much better I could do if I lost about 20 lbs. I look more muscular with the weight, but it is not muscle so it still makes me self conscious. That's all I can say though. You just have to make it your routine. I have been biking everyday for the last 18 days and I do about 6 miles. I don't eat huge meals and I DO EAT what I want though. I have decided that if I limit portion size and excersize I'd have to lose weight.

Motivation = will power + routine

Once you do it enough that you get mad at yourself if you miss a day is when your on the right track. Happened to me one rainy day, but it was worth it.

It is rewarding to know your doing something good.

[ctrygirl555]

Hello I myself am searching hard to find the ambition that I have lost. I used to sit and dream , and get interested in things. I don't have a lot of interest in much any more and I think its because of the weight. It may be because I have tried so many times to lose the weight and still it comes back . I feel I try and try and then I don't see the results that I want so I eventually Give up or slack off and then all the weight comes back and more with it. However saying all of this I have lost over 100 pounds and I can tell you at that stage I looked fantastic I had more energy. I felt like I had more of a fight in me. Physical problems (knee) caused me to be seditary and unable to exercise. When this happened gradually in 8 months I regained all my weight. It was crushing. Don't let yourself go down that road there are so many people that can't do the work needed to lose weight. Some have all the ambition and drive and determination that is required and still can't do it because they aren't physically able. If you are 20 Years old and able to do any sort of exercise, You should start by finding something that you love to do. If you find some excitement in an activity you will be more apt to enjoy it and do it more often. I wish you all the luck in the world. Never just settle doll. There has got to be an issue if you are this concerned so seek more advice. Money is short for us all curves is most successful for some people , but today we just can't afford those things. I could list you one hundred activities to do inside or out of your home. You don't need a scale to know that you have gained weight. You feel it. WE JUST KNOW. You will also know when you lose. Set yourself aside 10 minutes a day just for you, take a walk. Do that every single day until you fill like walking a little further. I hope you strive to fight for yourself , because there is no one that will fight for you as hard as you can. You can do . You should do it. God Bless you Tina