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mysmusic · May 29, 2008, 09:44 PM

Hello, I have a friend that has been separated from his partner for 17 years. They were never legally married and were together for 10 years previous to the split. They had a child who is now 20 (there was never any doubt that he was the father). Throughout the years he has paid for clothing, classes, and other items his daughter has needed and has contributed whenever he was asked to. He has recently paid for a little more than half of her post secondary education to date. The mother now married, is just NOW asking for structured child support and wants back payment of it for the last 17 years. He loves his daughter very much but the daughter's lifestyle has at times been uncontrollable. He wants to continue to help pay for her education and has always stated his intentions to do this. The ex and her husband had been having an affair for 5 years and when his 'then' wife found out about it she divorced him and took him for a major amount of $. My friends ex is now trying to see how much she can get out of 'her' long dead relationship.
My friend is not feeling happy about how he is being represented because he is being told to just answer her accusations and then wait for the next ones and then deal with them, etc. He has been doing this and when he replies with proof or a paper trail she renegs on what she has said and tries new accusations which he then answers to. He is becoming very stressed out and does not seem to get very much advise from his rep.
Is there not some sort of time frame that one is allowed to claim things such as child support? She had even asked for his house at one point. After 17 years of being apart can child support and other claims NOW be made?
My friend wants this whole thing to end and be done with and is willing to be fair but does not seem to be getting any real constructive answers.
He has already spent a bundle in lawyer fees and is not really any further ahead than when he started and is now wondering if all this money has been wasted as well. Besides perhaps get a new lawyer, what should he do?
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keithn · Dec 31, 2010, 11:10 PM

OK my girl is wantiing to no the same question she is in the same situation she pragnet and she wonder ifher dad should pay support for her kid by the way her boyfriend is 37 and she is 20

GV70 · Jan 1, 2011, 10:50 AM

Although courts are hesitant to make RETROACTIVE SUPPORT orders unless there is an explanation for delay, it does occur. Judges are also hesitant to order the return of money already paid.

Typically, though, you can only change child support retroactive to the date that you apply for a change, unless there is a good reason for your delay in applying. Generally, judges won't order a change in child support more than a year prior to a request for the change being made.

There is another situation that could see a retroactive change made. If the non-custodial parent consented to a retroactive change, then you could change your child support retroactively. This could occur if you have been out of contact for several months, and new expenses associated with your child has arisen.