[teachergirl]

So I need advice on how to handle a situation I'm currently in.

I guess I am what you could call a "relationship" kind of girl. I don't mean to, I don't go searching for them, but I tend to casually date and as long as the relationships stay fairly simple and uncomplicated I don't mind going from casually seeing someone to exclusively seeing someone. However, over the past two years there is been one guy in particular that Ive always cared about. At first I had a boyfirend, but he moved away and this guy and I started seeing one another. However, we were both in school and he really didn't want a girlfriend. I wasn't happy that he led me on, but I played it cool and just shut off communication. I saw him again like 4 months later and I had a new boyfriend. I was with him for about 10 months, and this kid came back into my life and pursed me whether I had a boyfriend or not. My boyfriend at the time and I did not work out and this guy and I started dating immediately. We were together for about 6 months, but had not nailed down that we were in a relationship cause both of us really didn't have the time. Finally, school ended and we decided we were ready. I met his family, the whole nine yards but I realized that he was not in fact ready nor was I. This kid has never had a girlfriend before because he doesn't want to put in the effort that it takes to be a relationship. For some reason I was dumb enough to think it would be different this time, but it really wasn't (even though I was his girlfriend). So I ended things, I told him that being together required a bit more of a commitment than that and although I think he is a great person I wasn't going to settle for someone who wasn't interested in hanging out more than once a week or so.

(I can't believe this is so long) So my question is we ended things saying how we both still really like each other but he wasn't ready to be in a relationship. I know the best thing to do is to cut off contact, cause I did that before, but my only fear is now that we've graduated and its time to get real jobs we will lose contact. How do I play it cool and keep him in my life, without coming across like I'm hung up on him?

[chuff]

I think you've covered a lot of ground here and I think you recognize that your situation isn't looking favorable. As you stated you are both at the crossroads where you are moving on in life which is a strike against both of you. But my question is, after 6 months if you guys are ready for a relationship then I just wonder when you ever would be? Maybe this was never destined to be to begin with.

[talaniman]

For whatever reason you don't click, then you don't click, and its pointless hanging on to something that doesn't work.
People, be they lovers, or friends, come and go from our lives, and there is no set way of keeping them with us... unless you marry them. Your really taking your chances then.

[JBeaucaire]

I understand what you're saying you want, but now that you're out of school your life is about to take off in some specific personal directions. Although it would be NICE to be able to take all those closest loves and friends along for the ride, it may not work. I imagine you know that.

And since you were created to be in a relationship (you already know that about yourself), then that is going to happen again relatively soon. It is one of your skills.

But now you are out of school and in your career, so the caliber of men you will be meeting and dating should be that much more serious as well. This being the case, you won't really have time to be keeping up with old boyfriends at the same time.

Who has that kind of energy? Spend what you DO have on your future.