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Dshannon · Mar 2, 2006, 07:18 AM

I have been in a stable relationship for the last 6 years, my girlfriend is 40, I'm 38. She appears to be entering a pre-menopausal state where her periods become irregular and she has erratic mood shifts and loss of sex drive. Naturally enough it is dominating her mind now, she fears losing her sex drive altogether, fears that our relationship will suffer as a result.
I want to support her, first and foremost, I still find her immensely attractive, and I want to let her know that. But I feel like the classic male stereotype that doesn't know how to properly communicate that to her. What should I say, or shouldn't say? What would most women want to hear?

fredg · Mar 2, 2006, 08:27 AM

Hi,
Good question, but difficult to answer. I am not a Doctor, nor a Professional... just one who has been married for 29 yrs.
I really believe the best thing you can do for her is to convince her to see a Doctor. They can explain exactly what is happening, also possibly prescribe some medication that will help with this, relieving some drastic mood swings. The Doctor can also explain about "sex drives", and put her mind at ease.
Other than that, don't argue with her! You will only make things worse.
Be supportive, agree with her (even though you might not), and try to keep the peace. Best of luck.

Chery · Mar 4, 2006, 04:41 AM

http://obgyn.healthcentersonline.com...enttherapy.cfm

A great big ATTABOY to you for caring enough to ask this question and want to help.

The above link will get you both started in understanding what she will be going through.

Just as long as you stress that she needs to see the doctor to get essential hormonal replacement for many reasons - as her body is the only one she'll have and she needs to continue to care for it.

Try to be as patient as possible, and keep on with the compliments. It might help if you let her do the leading (mood wise) when it comes to her sexuality.

There might also be a chance that she will not be as 'lubricated' as she was before, but there are special creams (like dry skin creams but for the inside) that have hormones too to help the transition.

Wish you all the best, and please keep us posted.

Keep on showing her she's 'special'...