Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    wife49's Avatar
    wife49 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #1

    May 26, 2008, 11:37 PM
    Lack of affection
    Why do my husband only show me affection when he wants sex?
    ChihuahuaMomma's Avatar
    ChihuahuaMomma Posts: 7,378, Reputation: 608
    Vision Expert
    		  
    #2

    May 27, 2008, 12:53 AM
    Cause men are stupid. NO NO NO. I'm just kidding. Maybe he doesn't realize that he is doing this. Have you talked about it?
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
    Software Expert
    		  
    #3

    May 27, 2008, 05:48 AM
    Because that's WHY men are affectionate. To get sex. This isn't wrong, it's reality. You are a woman, sex to you is about intimacy and love and showing feelings. At the core, sex to men is about sex. Our brains are wired completely differently in this regard.

    So, do NOT punish him for not viewing sex the way you do. He is doing nothing wrong. And you can turn a simple act of pleasure for him into a huge point of contention in your marriage, and you can do it quite easily. Please be careful on this one.

    THE GOOD NEWS
    Men aren't stupid either. We can be trained. We still need/want the sex "just because", but we can learn how to make it special for you, too. We really can. Just don't make it an all or nothing proposition. Now, work together on the relationship, initiate affectionate scenarios that are not automatically sexual, or in places where sex could even occur. Help him learn. You have all the time in the world, so use it.

    TRUTH - you both need the sex. So, giving it to each other for whatever reason is mainly just a good idea.

    Affection is something that doesn't come naturally for men, but can be mastered, totally.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
    		  
    #4

    May 27, 2008, 08:01 AM
    Why do my husband only show me affection when he wants sex?
    What kind of affection are you looking for, and how long have you been married?
    Mom of 2's Avatar
    Mom of 2 Posts: 449, Reputation: 90
    Full Member
    		  
    #5

    May 27, 2008, 08:13 AM
    The most important thing in a relationship is communication. Have you told him how you feel? Maybe he does not realize the affect that his actions have on you. Although I truly believe that men and women have different ideas as to what sex means to them, it would be unfair to your relationship if you withhold information that could only better your relationship. Tell him that when he does _________ it makes you feel ________. Put the ownership of the problem on both of you so that you are not just pointing the finger at him, which could cause him to become defensive and may take your statement as criticism instead of something that YOU need. Through no fault of their own, some guys just don't know or understand what a woman needs to feel truly wanted and appreciated. TELL HIM what you need and want.
    jolienoire's Avatar
    jolienoire Posts: 917, Reputation: 166
    Senior Member
    		  
    #6

    May 27, 2008, 08:20 AM
    It's not just a man thing. I do the same thing! I get really affectionate when I want to get intimate. Why? Because I want to warm up the mood, sometimes I don't have every second of the day to be under his nose, and being clingy because I have a family but when the kids are asleep or away, I am extremely affectionate usually that is my way to let him know I want it.

    Imagine he is not affectionate at all and just want to get it over with, I don't think you would be satisfied just enjoy it. Or if you want him to be affectionate more than communicate that too him.
Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions
 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Does stress cause lack of arousal or affection? [ 1 Answers ]

My husband and I do not have a consecutive sex life, but there are the says that I'm all fired up. Most days I don't want anything to do with him that could lead to sex. Lately I panic when we kiss, cuddle on the couch, and hold hands. It's like all the affection has run out of my body. My husband...

Alienation of affection [ 3 Answers ]

Can one sue someone for alienation of affection

Lack of money, lack of job, banging my head against a brick wall it seems. [ 8 Answers ]

OK, this has been going on for over 6 months now and I need for it to end... ive not done anything and neither has he, but I am finding it very hard to get a job, the last job I had six months ago was temp,they let me go after a month being there. I have been trying hard to get work, as of yet its...

Cat affection [ 1 Answers ]

I have a 1 year old spayed female cat. In the past month, it seems like she only wants to be around my boyfriend? She will lay with him in bed, on the couch, or even on the floor. She has no interest in me anymore and will not even lay on the bed with me! Can anyone please tell me why? Am I...

Cat affection or ? [ 4 Answers ]

I have a one year old female Calico Cat. It has been Spayed. It has the habit when curling up beside me of rubbing its nose and cheeks against my hand and ever so gently nibbling my hand every so often. This is not a bite. Very little pressure is exerted by the cat.

View more questions Search